There are times when we just feel like sinking the boat, when the idea of talking things out seems to have faded into the back of our minds, and we desire nothing else but to show the other person the consequences of their actions, as if we need to take revenge on a fate that failed us.

![boat-55173_1280.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTEuz2wpEiyck9aRhnpR1ECjWzBbSyFK5C1veYTH4BSN9/boat-55173_1280.jpg)

   It is of course part of the human experience to feel anger, and anger is but a spectrum of our emotional complexity that we should not attempt to deny or repress. But I wonder if there are healthy ways we can master our anger, to maybe even use it as fuel for positive change. I wonder if we can all find that personalized mental hack that can allows us to be a better version of ourselves.

   Thinking back to my childhood I can easily remember my angriest moments, those crazy fights I used to have with my older brother Jose. I also remember some of my worse reactions to losing those tiny battles. I think I must have been five or six years old when after losing yet another fight to my brother, I decided to get back at him by destroying my favorite Mazinger toy, and then proceeded to cry loudly about it,  blaming him, of course, because he made me do it!

   In the mind of a child it made sense that by becoming a helpless victim, the agents of justice, my parents, would have to step in and rebalance the scale, punish my brother. My mother however, a wise woman, did not fall for my tricks, and instead I got grounded for a week. I wish I could say that was the last time I reacted with self victimization. I wish I could say the lesson was delivered effectively that day by the teacher we all call life, but it took many more mistakes until it finally sunk in.

![mistake-2344150_1280.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYEpqsyLfGk78GqrJiVMAGK6yvEzo54gRyqx8foAEKRCC/mistake-2344150_1280.jpg)

   There is of course traits of our personality that present themselves at a young age, and if you would have met me as small child, you might have imagined an unpleasant adult in the making. In my moments of uncontrolled rage, my tantrums probably were the best deterrent for anyone thinking about having children of their own. But, If you were to meet me now, you would think I’m making all this up.

<b>So what happened?</b>

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Before the word triggered was of public domain, and overused by all youtubers looking for views, my father was doing his best to teach me how to deal with my explosive reactions. You see, sometimes it took very little for me to get incredibly upset, but to reason with a child takes a special kind of wizardry, and he, every now and then, had a good trick or two.

![father-1004022_1280.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR7PsdiCHgzwBP3bPmopJy91aGbw4uyGqgbkPSaF7ZjZ2/father-1004022_1280.jpg)

<b>Father:</b><i> Hey… so what would you do if I call out to you  “Hey Martian”?</i>

<b>Little meno:</b><i>  Nothing, because that is stupid, I’m not a Martian</i>

<b>Father:</b><i> So, you can’t get angry because you don’t identify as Martian, you know you are not martian</i>

<b>Little meno: </b><i>yeah!! what do I have to do with Martians?</i>

<b>Father:</b><i> and if I sat  "Hey stupid"?</i>

<b>Little meno:</b><i> Then I'll get angry of course, that's mean!!</i>

<b>Father: </b><i>Do you identify as stupid? Do you doubt if you are smart? I know you are smart… why don't "YOU" know that you are?</i>
_______________________________


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I wonder if my father truly knows the invaluable lesson he taught me that day, it’s funny to me that this short two minute conversation became the foundation for positive change in my young life. It became the first step towards finding out who I was, and just as importantly who I'm not.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Of course the problems and challenges in my life have grown in complexity, and my interactions with friends and family have evolved dynamically, but in essence the lesson I learned that day still allows me to take a step back and work through the things that just unavoidably trigger me.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;There is of course people out there, that deliberately want to hurt you, and I would never be one to defend the position of blind pacifism. But it might be more common for us to be triggered by people who are inside our social circles, the people who we love and care for.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I will be the first to admit that there is not one clear way of building up emotional fortitude, it might be different for each one of us. For me, accepting what I am, and what I am not, was the first step towards the right direction, but it could be very divergent for someone else, at least the first steps.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I believe however, that if we are sure of who we are, if we truly accept ourselves, and learn how to step away from the knee jerk reactions of our hurt ego. We can get one step closer to not allowing anyone or anything to ruin our day.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;It's not short race, its not some magic formula, as we know the quest for self confidence is the subject of many authors, but maybe, just maybe we should all keep the that goal firmly in our mind when we wake up and wear it in our actions.

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![girl-1748747_1280.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNk5PTr9S6a6b3ngtGjdHa5LTw3pKVsDt6gb5FV8XZSig/girl-1748747_1280.jpg)
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We should all strive to love and accept ourselves, warts and all... maybe then, we can forget the now popular word "Triggered".

Musically yours


![meno logo.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmW2fijoxrybX3Kg83HCgZZmZwF8SujXWvr3tn8YCUPCsw/meno%20logo.png)


All images: Pixabay

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