I went to the store yesterday.

Eggs,
bread,
milk.

That's really all I needed. I was able to get everything on a budget. EBT for life! just kidding, but actually. I've had stamps for a while and I must say I can not complain. 2 for 1 veggies all day! Without food stamps my life would be the same, but with it, the government pays for me to eat healthy food! Thanks US government! I really appreciate all you do for me.

With that being said, let me talk a bit more about who I am and what I am doing.

You see, my name is metama. When I was choosing my name, I really wanted metaman, but alas, someone had already snatched that from me. So, @metama it is.

Metama *n*, as we all know, is a superhero. Powerful, compact and quite good looking if I may add. He uses his powers for good and fights bad guys for fun. That is who I am. Just, with a nth less power.

When I started on my path of being a human, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I went through life, trying to remain entertained, do my best to have as much fun as possible and really not much else. I didn't really want anything, didn't really need anything. Just wanted to do my thing, get as many headshots as possible to boost my kd and just live a normal life.

I did not know what was coming!
Now, I get to wave my hat and build things! I can turn regular matter into gold. I am the walrus.

Now, I must tell you, in all honest and sense of fairness, you too are the walrus. Coo coo, cachoo.

Being a walrus, I am quite fat, inclined to long periods of slothliness, and sometimes bellow loud as fuck.

Yet, at the same time, I have a 6' long penis made out of bone.

To be a walrus one must be chill as fuck. This is preeminent. 

After that it's pretty much just flopping around rhythmically at a surprisingly fast clip, eating fish and defending your territory. 

I've been doing it for a quite a while now and must say, it's pretty fucking spectacular.

Now, with that being said. Not everyone can  be a walrus. If you must, be a fucking seal or something like that. Do your own thing, eat fish and just remember, don't be a fucking orca ... those guys are dicks.