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It was raining outside as I sat down to my bottle of whisky, hoping it would take away the scornful hands of karma which was slapping me in the face. I was being paid back for the wrongs I did, I was now feeling the pains I inflicted on those innocent women who were just seeking love. I loved hurting women emotionally, I loved the way they clinged more to me as I tormented them emotionally. The gaze on their sorrowful eyes as they tried to hide the fact that they were breaking down, that I was hurting them. This made me feel like a man, it built up my weak ego, it boosted my narcissistic personality.



I grew up in an abusive home, my dad would hit my mum right in front of me, I saw the bruises on her face, I felt it in my heart. I resolved never to hit a woman, I didn't want to be like my dad, I didn't want to see the bruises  of my unsuspecting victims. I just wanted to let out the anger and pain I felt each time my dad would hit mum. I chose to let it out by hurting the women too, only that I never did it physically but I guess it hurts more when it's emotionally done, at least I could feel it now.



I would wait till they were comfortable with me, till they trusted me and fell deeply for me, I didn't care how long it'd take, they were vulnerable at this point and then I'll attack. It wasn't hard, I was handsome, young, financially stable and of cause I'd draw pity from them using my childhood pains and how I'd never hurt a woman. They fell easily for those... The soft punches on my chest as they cried, a few would plead for me to love them again and the others would call on karma. I laughed at the word "karma" it was just a myth to me.



I remember one I really hurt, Bessie was her name, she would clean, cook, pray, advise and do a whole lots for me. She had caught me having sex with other women a couple of times but she'd still forgive and be with me. I guess she was the one angel I really lost. I knew I loved her, She was much of a good lady. She always forgave till I had sex with her sister. She caught us actually, the tears that rolled down her soft cheeks, she uttered no words as she turned back to leave. I should have chased after her but I didn't. I just drank the evening away with the boys. I knew deep down I had lost the moon chasing stars but I wasn't ready to retire.



Till I met Ivy, she gave me much of the mental challenge I wanted. I was a player but she, she was the coach of the game. She never cooked, always extracted from me, she was a bitch and I fell for this bitch. My karma had come. Till the day we got married, till the day we had our son, my supposed son I guess. She was using me, the boy wasn't my son, she had accused me of physical abuse and filled for an annulment. She was to take half of everything I had. On my way out of the court where my marriage was annulled I saw Bessie, she was coming in for her court marriage. She was held by the hands of a deserving man, a man who appreciated a good woman. I could feel my heart beat rapidly as she walked pass as tho I was a stranger.



Ivy took half of everything I had except my soul, she stabbed it to a thousand pieces. I now felt pain, the pain I had inflicted on every woman who had tried to love me, the pain I inflicted on Bessie. I couldn't even tell her how sorry I was, I realised there was actually no gain in being the flirt I was. Now I had to pay the price, it was too much, tears filled my eyes. I wished I could turn back time, I would have chosen to make things right. It now dawned on me that I wouldn't choose the pains I cause those women if I were asked to choose a punishment for my crimes, it was too much. Deep in my regrets I heard the thunder strike, I looked outside and I was starring right into the eyes of karma, the bitch smiled at me.