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In the last couple of months I have been sharing my story about the social worker that has been involved with my family since September last year. I've been writing about the power trips that she has been wielding over my head like she was my executioner instead of a regular social worker doing her job. I've written about the verbal abuse and threats she's been using time and time again, as well as her lies and twisted stories in order to build a case against me.
And all that time, I have taken it and let her walk all over me out of fear for worse.
But enough is enough, so with the help of my friend/sister in law, who is also a lecturer in Child protection law at University, I wrote a complaint about said social worker.
This was sent in to the general manager of her office as well as the complaints officer who is now handling the case.
I believe that this complaint was one of the factors why the child protection conference worked in our favour, after the chairman had read the complaint and didn't give her much chance to talk and pretty much wiped everything else off the table. You can read the story about this here, if you haven't yet:
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@misslasvegas/all-your-positive-thoughts-and-wishes-have-worked-for-me-not-over-yet-but-close
# The main content of the complaint
I would like to share some of the content of the complaint that was made. I won't do the whole thing, since it was a 13 page document and that's a bit much for Steemit I think. But hopefully it will help someone else in the future to fight if they ever find themselves in a similar situation.
The following is taken from the cover letter and the attached complaint. The names have been taken out. More for my own protection than theirs. But there will be a day when the name of this person will be known and etched on the blockchain.
> # Dear Mr M.,
Please find enclosed a complaint against a named social worker, C. C., who practices in Co Mayo in the area of child protection.
I have been dealing with this social worker for months and have been placed under great strain as a result of these interactions. I fully accept the statutory responsibility of Tusla to investigate families who are suspected of neglect or abuse but her actions have gone well beyond an investigation and I have been treated as a criminal who is forced to prove her efficacy as a mother again and again. I am also worried that this has happened to other families and they may not know how to speak up. I would feel better if someone with authority and experience could review my case.
I feel compelled to take this action because of the upcoming Child Protection Conference, which I do not believe should have been called. The children could end up on a register for the length of their minority and there would be no way to vindicate our rights as a family. I have been denied fair procedures at every turn and this complaint appears to be the only possibility of accessing fair procedures.
Kind regards,
M.T
> # Background to the Case
Social workers in our area became involved with my family due to miscommunication. My daughter, who was then 15 years old, went to R., where we used to live to visit a friend. She told me that this had been cleared with the friend’s mother but this was not the case and they were away when she got there. She decided to stay the night at the home of a family friend who was also not at home but had left the door unlocked. She tried calling home in the morning for a lift home but her phone was not working so she asked an attendant at a petrol station to call for her. They called the Police and social workers arrived to our door.
This triggered months of unscheduled and scheduled visits to the home. I came under tremendous pressure to have the house neat and tidy at all times, every infraction came in for critical comment. In addition, I was put under pressure to send the children to school and to send my youngest to pre-school even though I am registered with Tusla as a home educator and am committed to the practice of ‘unschooling’.
I was never given a list of things to do or any direction about what the social worker actually wanted achieved, it was just a constant stream of criticism. Some information I gave her in honesty was turned against me, it seemed like everything I did was wrong. I felt like I was not allowed to speak at meetings with her as I was interrupted or she would finish my sentences for me, assuming that this was what I was going to say. Sometimes when I spoke or tried to defend myself, I was threatened with court orders or worse.
I believe that I am being held to a standard that is not imposed on other families, where all of my parenting decisions must pass the test of what the social worker thinks she would do if she was their mother instead of me, I am not allowed to have a divergent view of their best interests. I must prioritize housekeeping over spending time with them or earning a living, which I do from home, because that is her view. It is not sufficient that I love my children, educate them, protect and value them because I have never failed to do any of these things, I have never neglected or abused them. My children are strong, confident, intelligent and loving yet I cannot find any way to be left in our rightful privacy to enjoy family life.
> # Complaint
***I assert that the social worker involved in my case has failed to uphold human rights in her practice and in particular has failed to promote my rights of participation.***
In numerous meetings, I have felt like I wasn't allowed to speak. When I try to speak, I sometimes have been threatened with court orders or care proceedings. I have tried to voice my concerns and fears many times. I made the mistake of telling her that some members of my family of origin had experience of state care which resulted in the sexual abuse of family members. She turned that back on me to say that keeping the children out of care was up to me and anything that happened to them would be my responsibility.
***In addition, my right to be treated in a caring and respectful manner has not been upheld.***
At all times, I have been spoken to in a condescending and patronising manner and my friend J. has been a witness to this. I am an experienced parent of four children, who parents alone in a foreign country and conducts all of my life in a foreign language yet I am constantly spoken to as if I am intellectually disabled. Again, I made a mistake of being open and honest about my relationships with the children’s fathers and this was turned against me as evidence that I was not a good judge of character instead of evidence of my ability to prioritise the protection of my children over my own relationships.
***A social worker is expected to act in a way that respects the rights and dignity of people regardless of their gender or family status.***
The way that anything I said was used against me at a latter stage played heavily on my mind and I began to second guess my decisions. A., my youngest child, saw his father at intervals but I was afraid to have E. in the house in case his past regular drinking and taking of cannabis was used against me by the social worker so A. stopped seeing his father, even though he never drank or used cannabis in the presence of children. I have learned that no-one ever contacted E., talked to him about myself or the children at any stage, presumably because he is a father and we are unmarried. I have a good relationship of long standing with E.'s sister, A.’s aunt, and she was never contacted about us, even though she would have been happy to alleviate any concerns about my parenting. The social worker approached the situation as one of building a case against me rather than investigating the truth. I believe that if I had been an Irish Catholic married mother in the middle class, the whole approach to the case would have been radically different.
***A social worker should respect the rights and dignity of people regard less of their race.***
At a meeting attended by myself, my friend J., the social worker, the family care worker and S. G. who also works for Tusla, J. said something to me in Dutch, our native language. I was trying to explain something about the way I educate my children and J. felt I should stop because it didn't seem like it was of use. The social worker said that it was not allowed as ‘we speak English here’, presumably talking about Ireland. I believe that telling people that they are not allowed to speak in their own language is contrary to the Equal Status Acts 2000-2008 and fails to respect cultural diversity. She had no way of enforcing the prohibition in truth, yet after so many threats for not doing what she says, J. then told her what she had been saying in English.
***I had an expectation as a member of the public that the social worker would carry out duties professionally and ethically and behave with integrity and honesty.***
It was my experience that the social worker was willing to lie, twist things I told her or tell half-truths. The purpose of this was always to make me look bad and to build a case against me. I felt like she did not like me on a personal level, I have a strong personality and I am committed to certain values such as the superiority of home schooling. There was no respect afforded to me at any stage in relation to these values. If they did not comply with her world view, then they were wrong and she was willing to say anything to prove that she was right.
***A social worker must act within the limits of their knowledge, skills and expertise.***
The most difficult part of my experience with the social worker was her interactions with my eldest daughter. She is a typical teenaged girl, trying to figure out who she is and how to be a woman in the world. In addition, she was going through a difficult time due to the actions of the former family friend, which she thankfully revealed to me so that I could pursue justice for her. The Police did a very good job to date and have been very professional and kind. However, the same could not be said for the social workers who burst into her bedroom demanding to speak to her, a complete invasion of her privacy. In addition, the social worker at issue in this complaint told my daughter that she might be depressed because ‘her mother is so unstable’ and then also told that she might have bipolar disorder, a life-long mental health condition. My daughter became very distressed by this and worried that she might be mentally ill, also because her father has bipolar disorder. The social worker was acting far beyond her skills in this regard and caused harm to my daughter as a result. In one meeting with my daughter, she asked if she had a phone. My daughter didn't have one at the time because she had lost a few phones in a short period of time and I could not afford to buy her the phone she wanted, so she was saving up for it. The case worker then told her that she would see if she could get her a phone. I only found out about this because my daughter told me.
# The best weapon: to use their own words against them
In the above, I have listed in short what the complaint was about. I left out a few things to protect my children's privacy, but the outline of the complaint is there. The titles, which are printed in italic, are taken from their ***own*** website and guidelines. The social worker in question has breached nearly every single one of their own rules!
We felt it was important to mention these and use them, as it clearly shows that this woman is wrong in many ways.
After this complaint, I wrote up the report as she had made it and my reply to it, also clearly demonstrating where she went wrong. I haven't quite made up my mind about whether I should make a separate post about this as well.
But this is enough for now.
# The result?
Meanwhile, the complaint has been received and passed on to the complaints officer. He got in touch with me yesterday and assured me that this would be taken very seriously. (They know that if they don't, they will have much more to deal with if I take it to the Ombudsman).
Of course, we can never know for sure if this will be the case until we do.
He made an appointment with me for next week to go through everything.
At the same time, I still notice the social worker's influence with everything I do. During a recent appointment with specialists who are dealing with my eldest daughter's mental health issues (mostly brought on by her), it became very apparent that she had been talking to these people and has been sharing information with them without my permission. At first, I was shocked to see that she is still trying to play these games, but now I am happy about it, because it proves once more that there is a pattern of her undermining everything I do and that she is not following their own rules.
I will keep you updated on the progress.
I feel it is important to share this, because a lot of people have been or are in my shoes. Some much worse.
A lot of people are afraid to say or do anything because they are afraid of repercussions. And I have to admit, in the back of my mind there is still that little bit of fear in me too, wondering what else she could be capable of.
However, I decided to NOT let fear get the best of me and decided to fight back.
I've bowed down too much and feel it is my responsibility to show my kids that fighting back in times like these can be done. Courage, not fear, is what I hope to see in them as well and hopefully they will learn from this experience and take it into their adult lives.
> # Please read all the stories of others under the #familyprotection tag. It happens, every day and everywhere to people like you and me. It could happen to YOU! Please support @familyprotection, if there is ONE cause worth fighting for, it's this.
Thank you for reading. 50% of the earned SBD will go to @familyprotection. Although I admit that I am a bit behind... This will be solved in the near future.
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