### The Dark Net is a place where a person can gain access to essentially any item they desire. Whether it is a weapon, a drug of choice or a false identity, the deep web offers us a chance to forget who we truly are and dabble in aspects of society that we may have previously ignored. 

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As a "drug lord" of the Dark Net, I find myself wondering if I have become the one who is addicted. What started out as a simple way to make some extra cash has become an all consuming lifestyle, a lifestyle that threatens the entirety of my existence. 

I won't bog you down with details about the type of drugs I sell or the quantities. Besides, it will only come across as bragging and I am not writing this post in order to brag. My reason for writing is to provide those who believe in the "awesome" power of selling drugs on the deep web to choose a different part for themselves. 

I live in constant fear and I have not had a good night's sleep in a very long time. I know that jail is around the corner and I also know that the majority of raids tend to take place during the dead of the night. So I sleep with one eye open, making frequent trips to take a peek out of the blinds and watch for any telltale signs of police involvement. 

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Making money is great, but imagine being forced to pay a percentage of your earnings to those who can ensure that it is clean. Selling drugs to make money isn't like the movies anymore. There is no Nike shoe box full of small bills wrapped in rubber bands under my bed, there is no secret stash of cash buried in the backyard. 

Transactions on the Dark Net are handled with the use of Bitcoin. Since Bitcoin is not a tangible form of currency and I am not earning it in a manner that is fully legal, I am left to allow other shadowy figures to handle my finances for me, paying them a generous percentage of my earnings to keep the Feds from being able to monitor my bank accounts. 

I fear that I have reached a point where imprisonment would be a sweet release from the constant worry. I spend increasingly larger portions of my day looking up my crimes on Google from anonymous locations, peering over my shoulder the entire time. I've yet to enjoy the so called spoils of my success, because there is a large part of me that knows I may need whatever cash isn't seized so that I can pay a lawyer when the time comes. 

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Now that I have had the time to think about it, I suppose that I am confessing because I have come to believe that a drug dealer is no better than the people who use. A user is merely feeding an addiction, they are sick people who are in need of help. I, on the other hand, had choices and options. 

I willingly chose to immerse myself in this world and I only have myself to thank for my current circumstances. I allowed myself to become addicted in the same manner that they did, by losing sight of the present and chasing a feeling that provided me with a momentary high. 

They are merely addicted to the high. I am addicted to the lure of making money and since I can't spend the majority of my earnings, it is all about watching the numbers on my computer screen climb higher and higher. It is about the feeling of superiority and autonomy that comes from not having to get out of bed until I am good and ready each day (on the rare night that I sleep, that is). 


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But I am sad to say that the drug dealer fever dreams that you see on TV are wildly unrealistic. Replace the scantily clad women who are always there to do your bidding with crushing paranoia and replace the vault full of cash with a thumb drive that I nervously transport to an undisclosed location when it is time to get paid and you have a much better idea of the life I live. 

### While I don't feel particularly guilty for my actions, as those who purchased from me would have simply made their purchase elsewhere, I have a great deal of regret and a certain level of fear. I guess that is why I feel the need to unburden myself in this manner. Perhaps I want the audience to know that selling drugs on the Dark Net is not a one way to ticket to partying on a yacht or driving a sports car. 

By the way, good luck making either purchase without being greeted by a battering ram in the not so distant future. Any purchase over $39,999 has to be filed with the Feds and have fun trying to find a black market car or boat. It will also be fun to explain to the gentlemen who kicked in your door that you're simply good at saving the birthday money Grandma sends each year. 

Hopefully, I can find a new way to earn a living before the inevitable takes place. If I am unable to do so, please do not use my story as a reason to follow my path. It is meant to be a cautionary tale, a reason for you to consider a different method. Believe me when I tell you, being a Dark Net drug lord is not all its cracked up to be.

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The author of this post has asked to remain ***anonymous***. As such all details relating to my source will remain confidential.

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