![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/k8syknl83/Light_Tunnel_1_l.jpg) # **Short Introduction From Naquoya** I arrived here at Steemit in August and have published many posts since that time. I have never made a formal introduction post, being more of a private person, but wanted to tell a story from my past. Before I get to the story, I just wanted to give you a very short Bio of who is the person behind the @naquoya mask. ![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/o8vij5mb7/SB_FB_s.jpg) My name is Scott, I'm Australian, and I was born in 1972 (which makes me 31!). And I'm good at maths. For those who follow such things I'm an INFJ on the MBTI personality scale. Personally I feel that this is a reasonably good representation of who I am as a person, but I also feel that these types of things can be fluid and move around a little bit. I don't like to use this as a lock and chain, but as a guide for using within the concept of “Know Thyself”. But then I would say that – I'm an INFJ! My blog here consists primarily of poetry and fiction. I have written a curation tutorial, and will be looking into more of this on a weekly basis. ---------- ![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/68mberu43/Cancer_Story_1_s.jpg) Without further ado: # **MY CANCER STORY** The chair was stiff and cold under me. I couldn't get comfortable. Not for want of trying. But my mind was preoccupied. My mind was ruling this ship right now, and I would just have to deal with it. And my mind was focused on one thing, and one thing only. What were the test results? ---------- **EIGHT WEEKS PRIOR** The day had started just like any other. I was at work as a Production Manager in a small factory in an industrial area of Melbourne. Not the most exciting of jobs, but it came with it's fair share of stress. The vast majority of which were caused directly by my boss. The man who promoted me to this new position of Production Manager. Part of my job was to organise production runs and schedules. Part of the production supply came directly from my boss who operated an automatic lathe machine. But my boss resented taking orders from anyone. Especially someone he employed. Even if it meant sabotaging his own company he would supply the parts I needed when he saw fit to do so. It was stressful, but more than that it was absurdly irrational. With all this on my mind, I never really paid attention to the sick employee in our midst. Coughing away in the background. Non stop. He eventually saw sense and went home for the day. But after only one hour of being near to this fellow worker I had picked up something from him. Now I too was coughing, loudly and incessantly. I had been a smoker up until this point, so I was aware of smokers cough. I rarely was bothered by that. This was completely different, like something I had never had. I quite literally could not stop coughing. This went on for the next two weeks, until I started to come down with what felt to me like Pneumonia. It wasn't, just a severe flu, but worse than anything I had had before. I saw my local doctor, who didn't take me very seriously, and I left with his parting words ringing in my ears: “*Just get over it and get back to work.*” ![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/js35kh837/Cancer_Story_3_s.jpg) The next four weeks were very similar. Coughing incessantly everyday. All day. I know it was driving those around me crazy. What I didn't know at the time is a lot of those people believed I was faking the whole thing. And said so to each other. After six weeks of this without any cessation of coughing I started to come down with the flu again. And again it felt like something as severe as Pneumonia. This time I saw another doctor, who did take me more seriously, but no tests or scans were done. No consideration was shown for the non-stop coughing that had been taking place for six weeks straight. Instead I was put on anti-biotics and sent on my way. Yet it continued for the next two weeks. I saw the doctor again and this time demanded he do something to help me. I was sent around to a nearby clinic to get an x-ray. The very next day I was called at work by the doctor's clinic and told I had a double appointment put aside for me that afternoon and that the doctor had something he needed to discuss with me as a matter of urgency. I can still remember that phone call like it was yesterday. How do you go about your business after that call pretending like all is well? If there was a way then I didn't know it. ---------- **THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE** So there I was sitting on that cold chair, in the doctor's office, looking at the doctor awaiting the news he had to give me. “*I have a report emailed over from the specialists,*” he told me. “*I haven't received the x-ray yet.*” I continued to look at him blankly. I nodded slightly. “*The scans show a fist sized mass in your right lung. A tumour.*” At that point he kept talking, but I wasn't taking that much of it in. It was like the space around me expanded and everything moved away from me. Or I shrunk, in the middle of everything else, but being swallowed by it all. The sensation could have been either of these. ![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/nn6jn1r8z/Cancer_Story_2_s.jpg) What does this mean, I wondered? How can I have a tumour at 29 years of age? Is it cancer? Is it malignant? This is not how it was supposed to be. But then, how was it meant to be? Like William Blake said: >“Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.” ---------- **ENDLESS TESTING** I went through four more weeks of testing as they tried to determine exactly what it was I had. The first specialist thought it may have been **Hodgkin's Lymphoma**, but eventually was diagnosed as **Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma** – a saliva gland had become cancerous and made its way to my right lung. Turns out that this is a very slow growing form of cancer and this could have been developing for a long time. The diagnosis had come back, it was cancer, and an operation was required, and most likely a bout of Radiation Therapy after that. They didn't know how much of the lung would have to be removed, not until the surgery itself. I went into the operation not knowing just how much of my right lung would still be there when I awoke. Prior to the surgery, whilst still working, obviously I had taken many days off from work, much more than I normally would. Mostly for the many tests I needed to have done. Rarely just because of the coughing. I received x-rays, CT Scans, PET Scans, blood tests, lung function tests. And that was prior to the diagnosis. Also a biopsy to remove some tissue for testing (small operation in itself, now done with laser surgery). Whilst sitting around the desk with the boss and another executive, having just told them that the diagnosis was “Cancer”, and what that would entail, he turned to me and said “you're nothing but a part-time factory manager” (referring to the time I had needed to take off work for the tests), and demoted me. I never saw either of these men again after the operation. I had worked for the man for almost 7 years. All of the above took place between June 2002 and October 2002. On October the 10th I had my surgery. They removed ALL of the right lung. It's been almost 15 years since then. To look at me you wouldn't notice anything untoward, except that I'm overly skinny. Not all disabilities are easy to spot. I went through 6 weeks of Radiation Therapy in the new year (2003), which wasn't overly harrowing. What I did notice was my energy levels subside considerably towards the end of it. This didn't last long afterwards though. ---------- **AFTERMATH** Needless to say there was a lot of psychological scarring from the experience. I wandered aimlessly for many years, and made some poor choices (mainly with who I associated with), and struggled to make sense of it all. However life threw me another extreme experience, but in her wisdom it seemed this was what I needed as it seemed to shock me back out of the shock I had been in all those years. It seems the Radiation Therapy had weakened my heart (being targeted in that direct area). In August 2007 I had started to suffer from chest pains. Pains that I got looked at, but both myself and my doctor assumed it related to the lung issue. Turns out it wasn't my lung, it was my heart. Over the course of a week I was looked at several times, but no one twigged to do a heart check. Several days later I had a heart attack. And I remember it well. I wouldn't wish the pain on my worst enemy (if I had any!). I was rushed to the hospital and operated on immediately. I ended up having a double bypass operation as two of my hearts veins were almost 100% occluded. Fortunately no long term damage was done to the heart itself. I remember waking up from the operation, feeling like a complete failure. It's hard to explain why, but moments like that really mess with you emotionally. But I think for the first time in 5 years I stopped running and faced reality. My life, my experience, my emotions, my lack of comprehension and understanding of what any of it meant. And I cried. Not like a man that has been told he is going to die, but like a man that was just told by life that he matters. It just took a heart attack on top of cancer, for that message to penetrate through all the childhood conditioning about sin, a vengeful God, and the worthlessness of humanity (thanks Fundamentalist Christianity!). ![enter image description here](https://s19.postimg.org/lzbzm52r7/Cancer_Story_5_s.jpg) ---------- **FAST FORWARD TO 2017** So here I am almost 15 years later. Still alive. Still with only one lung. A body covered in some serious scars. But they are healing. Somewhere along the line my sense of humour returned to me. I don't take things too seriously, although I try to give important matters their dues. I went into this experience a boy. Okay I was 29 years of age. But emotionally I lagged. Somewhere through all of this I grew up. For those who have followed my blog you will know that I write a lot of poetry. In those poems I try to express emotions honestly, rawly, unpretentiously. If I have succeeded in this endeavour it is only because I have lived those emotions. ---------- **THANK YOU** Thank you for reading. I offer this story as one of hope, and not from a dark or depressing place. I sincerely hope you were able to get something beneficial from it. It happened. It changed me, and slowly I have come to terms with its reality and welcomed it into my life. ---------- This is my own work, written for Steemit Image Credit: Photo of me is my own, the rest are from Unsplash.com ---------- Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you liked it please give an upvote, and feel free to leave a comment. [**Follow Me**](https://steemit.com/@naquoya) ----------
post_id | 1,866,169 |
---|---|
author | naquoya |
permlink | my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya |
category | introduceyourself |
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What a story man.. Sorry you had to go through all that pain.
post_id | 1,866,282 |
---|---|
author | moon32walker |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t083446041z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thank you very much for reading. I'm sorry about the past too, but can't do much about that now. Things are good now though :)
post_id | 1,866,299 |
---|---|
author | naquoya |
permlink | re-moon32walker-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t084105556z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thank you for sharing these experiences. I am constantly amazed at how resilient people are, how resilient you must have been to get through it.
post_id | 1,866,302 |
---|---|
author | benjojo |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t084312824z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thanks for your comment. From memory I think a lot of the resilience arrives when needed. Physically the hospital system guides you so that keeps you going. Emotionally though you're on your own, I found. You just have to pick yourself up after every stumble. Reading how others coped helped which is why I thought I'd share my story.
post_id | 1,866,309 |
---|---|
author | naquoya |
permlink | re-benjojo-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t084933289z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Hello Naquoya, nice to "meet" you. Good luck!
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permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t091852825z |
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Thank you @gtg - for the greeting and well wishes :)
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-gtg-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t092041580z |
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You're tough :) Another lease of life hey?
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author | immarojas |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t012445790z |
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Haha, thanks. More stubborn, I think. Don't know how to give up.
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then don't! we should learn that from you but still..it depends ;)
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permlink | re-naquoya-re-immarojas-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t024710341z |
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Touching story. So glad you pulled through it and are fine now. Wish you all the best in the future....
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permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t103037503z |
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Thanks for reading. Yes I am doing well now, which I am grateful for. I appreciate the well wishes.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-rea-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t105137369z |
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You're a inspiration to us all. Thank god you made it through all that. Well, your talents are evident through your awesome work on Steemit shows so you still have a lot to offer this world. Bless, buddy....
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permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t103458989z |
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You're very kind, and it is appreciated. As they say - "when life gives you lemons" :) The experience has moulded me, no doubt, but rather than become bitter from it, I always hoped I could emerge with an ability to communicate vividly through those experiences.
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category | introduceyourself |
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I had in past a "near death" experience or at least I thought it was near death... I will not give more details now, I just wanted to point out that I was telling my self: "It can't happen to me, it can't happen".... but it was happening.... and you get "slowly" humble again, and realizes that you are not more special than any other human on earth... When I recall my memory right it comes a moment you realize that it doesn't matter when you will face death, now, in 5 years, in 50 years,when you are young,when you are old, it doesn't matter... you will face it in your present... you can't observe it... you will just live it until you hopefully... surrender... accepting His will
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author | liondani |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t105757679z |
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Yes, I understand you. I had to learn to stop fighting reality and come to some form of acceptance of it. I studied a lot from Krishnamurti, Osho, Jung, and other similar thinkers and philosophers. Slowly I have come to a point of "peace" with what is, instead of looking over my shoulder for more punishment from life! Ironically it has only been through this process of accepting the reality of death (whether today or in 50 years) that I have found myself more in the present where life actually resides. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
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permlink | re-liondani-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t110453769z |
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What a lovely but sad post , however with a happy ending. You've gone through so much. Good luck. Up-voted and following
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author | ianstrat |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t111704630z |
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Bittersweet, as they say. There is light at the end of this tunnel. Took me a long time to find it, but I got there in the end. I appreciate your comment and your thoughts.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-ianstrat-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t112442570z |
category | introduceyourself |
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ianstrat | 0 | 4,965,156,256 | 100% |
Amazing story. Thank you for sharing that. It's great to meet you.
post_id | 1,867,062 |
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author | steeminganarchy |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t122229992z |
category | introduceyourself |
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root_title | "My Cancer Story and a Short Introduction From Naquoya" |
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Thanks for reading. And likewise, great to meet you. All the best to you.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-steeminganarchy-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t122544351z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Wow what an incredible story! I'm so sorry you had to experience this. You're very brave for sharing this moment! Thank you for that. Our past experiences do form our reality.
post_id | 1,867,073 |
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author | maximdraws |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t122541417z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Brave, or foolhardy?! It took me 6 months here to tell that story though. Had to find the right time. And like you say, our past experiences do form our reality, or perhaps our perception if it, and how it will shape us. It's a tricky path to walk and get right. Thanks for reading and for your comment.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-maximdraws-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t123440222z |
category | introduceyourself |
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created | 2017-01-30 12:34:42 |
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Definitely brave man! I fully understand it taking you long. You put it better than I did, they indeed for our perception of it. The path is very tricky but luckily because we can choose where to branch off, our perception of reality is ever changing so we have the power to move forwards and I'm very glad you're finding it!
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author | maximdraws |
permlink | re-naquoya-re-maximdraws-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t124335725z |
category | introduceyourself |
json_metadata | "{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["introduceyourself"]}" |
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<p>This post has been ranked within the top 50 most undervalued posts in the first half of Jan 30. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $11.13 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.</p> <p>See the full rankings and details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-jan-30---part-i">The Daily Tribune: Jan 30 - Part I</a>. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/introducing-the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-nov-04---part-i">our initial post</a>.</p> <p>If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.</p>
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author | screenname |
permlink | re-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t131238 |
category | introduceyourself |
json_metadata | "{"replyto": "@naquoya/my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya"}" |
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Thanks for the data.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-screenname-re-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t131238-20170130t131512776z |
category | introduceyourself |
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I'm sorry for all that you went through, but one would argue that it has shaped you to who you are today. It's so awesome that you're able to share your story like this. Very inspiring! You've gone through so much in your life, and you're still kicking life's ass. Here's to 44 more years of being a spectacular human being! (I'm not good at math either ;) )
post_id | 1,867,497 |
---|---|
author | jedau |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t133048353z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thanks very much for your comment @jedau. Yes it most certainly has shaped me, and it cold have been for the worse, and perhaps for some time there it was. But something shifted along the way, and I do have a begrudging appreciation for the experience! I'm happy to hear the story inspired you. That is what I was hoping for. As for your maths, 44 sounds about right. I can never remember these days, have to stop and count it out :)
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---|---|
author | naquoya |
permlink | re-jedau-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t133544573z |
category | introduceyourself |
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What matters is that you came out of the experience a better person. While your physical form may have degraded a bit, other aspects that make up who you are have improve. I can't believe that you haven't posted an intro after all this time! It was great timing though, as more people would get the chance to read your life story.
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author | jedau |
permlink | re-naquoya-re-jedau-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t133806779z |
category | introduceyourself |
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You survived man. Brave.
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---|---|
author | billykeed |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t134040349z |
category | introduceyourself |
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I did, indeed. It was rough for a bit. But got there in the end. Time to move forward. Thanks for your comment.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-billykeed-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t134641860z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Glad to hear your story and to know we grow stronger through our adversities.
post_id | 1,868,382 |
---|---|
author | beginningtoend |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t155450016z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thanks @beginningtoend. It's been a difficult story to tell, at least until I had reached a point of resolution within myself on it. I keep most of it to myself, as it's not always an easy thing for others to hear. But I felt the time was right, at least here at Steemit, to discuss it a little bit.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-beginningtoend-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170131t031110007z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thanks for sharing your story so openly. I'm glad you're doing well physically now. I'm hoping for a part II to My Sister's Keeper too. ;) My wife has had similar health challenges, facing three bouts of cancer in a six year period with accompanying surgeries every year during that time. It's left her scarred and with physical ailments she'll carry to her grave. They will likely contribute to finding that grave younger than she would have otherwise. Interestingly, our experiences drew us to God. Fundamentalism can present a God who is like an ogreish father. I'm sorry you experienced that. We found something quite different - love, compassion, strength and forgiveness. While it was the most challenging time for our family, it was also a major turning point in our growth together, and made me a much better husband and father. The peace and support we experienced during the last two (and most invasive and life-altering) surgeries was wonderful. You're certainly a blessing to Steemit @naquoya. I count it a privilege to include you in my list of cyberfriends. :o)
post_id | 1,868,510 |
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author | anotherjoe |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170130t161925341z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thank you @anotherjoe for your detailed and thoughtful comment. I did hesitate to make mention of the connection to Christianity, not wanting my post to be of offence to anyone. I compromised and added the word fundamentalist, as I do accept there is a difference. And I can and do accept that others have had a different experience of Christianity to me. I don't wish to take that away from you. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's experience. I can relate to the difficulty in the path she has walked, and all I can really add is that having understanding family and friends around does make the world of difference. Whilst I do get regular health checkups, I am not on any medications, having removed myself from those years ago. I am 100% drug free. The biggest thing I have learnt that I subscribe to personally is that I have taken on a plant based diet (what some would call Vegan, but that refers more to a lifestyle), and the regular checks I get would indicate it is making a lot of difference. As for the "My Sister's Keeper" story, I am very appreciative of your support as I wrote that. Never forgotten. I do wish to give that more of my attention, to revise it (add some more material, and edit it). I remember your offer to help edit it, and if still avaialable may just ask for your help one day. All the best to you, and thanks also to you my cyberfriend :)
post_id | 1,872,366 |
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-anotherjoe-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170131t032317407z |
category | introduceyourself |
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anotherjoe | 0 | 7,116,477,689 | 1% | ||
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asshole | 0 | -208,766,864 | -1% |
Drug free after such dramatic surgery and radiation is amazing. Congratulations. Due to nerve damage and a non-healing wound, my wife will likely always be on some medication. But we've been very encouraged this past year as she's been able to wean herself off much of it. She's 21 years in remission now, but the ravages of the surgery and treatment will always be with her. Yeah, fundamentalism can make some distinctions and can be helpful in some contexts. I understood by your comment what you were referring to, and have had some unfortunate experiences as well. I look forward to being another set of eyes on your novel when you're ready. :) I'll keep on watching your posts. Poetry rarely grabs my attention, but I do watch my feed for what you're putting out.
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author | anotherjoe |
permlink | re-naquoya-re-anotherjoe-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170131t040144500z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thank you for sharing this part of your life's story. It is both moving and hopeful.
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author | evehuman |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170204t132643022z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Thank you for your comment. I was hoping for it to leave a sense of hope for others, so I am very happy that you got that.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-evehuman-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170205t043742601z |
category | introduceyourself |
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You wild grow up after all of that shocking how your boss treat you. Glad to hear your better now. I call myself a patch work quilt with all my scars lol :)
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author | karenb54 |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170220t102818198z |
category | introduceyourself |
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created | 2017-02-20 10:28:15 |
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root_title | "My Cancer Story and a Short Introduction From Naquoya" |
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Thanks for reading. Yes I know the feeling - patchwork quilt is an apt description.
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author | naquoya |
permlink | re-karenb54-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170220t103904198z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Good luck to you :)
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author | karenb54 |
permlink | re-naquoya-re-karenb54-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20170220t104038453z |
category | introduceyourself |
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I am only 11 months late in reading this. (Of course, I have only been on Steemit for 7 months, and am just getting to know you.) But at any rate, this is not only an amazing testimony to the importance of embracing life and making our days count, but it is also a beautiful piece of writing. It's great to be getting to know you. I very much enjoy your writing!
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author | jayna |
permlink | re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20180114t154643571z |
category | introduceyourself |
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created | 2018-01-14 15:46:42 |
last_update | 2018-01-14 15:46:42 |
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naquoya | 0 | 3,970,501,243 | 15% |
Hi this is the contest Crypto Boy Share one of your success story I want to hear it
post_id | 25,646,538 |
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author | manojm |
permlink | re-jayna-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20180114t155110039z |
category | introduceyourself |
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created | 2018-01-14 15:51:12 |
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I shall do so, Crypto Boy.
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permlink | re-manojm-re-jayna-re-naquoya-my-cancer-story-and-a-short-introduction-from-naquoya-20180114t155841536z |
category | introduceyourself |
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Time flies doesn't it. Hard to believe that it's almost a year since I posted this.Thank you for taking the time to read this, and share your thoughts. I'm glad you found it a beautiful piece of writing. I was hoping to avoid the morbid, despite the subject matter. It's interesting to revisit this again myself, and see the progress I've made, emotionally, as well as a writer.
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You are a survivor. That's the most important thing! I'm sure if you decide to write more on the topic it will be inspirational to others who have gone through anything like what you encountered.
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