The Internet, bookstores, and magazine racks are packed with information on how to be successful, like this article on Forbes: "[15 Surprising Things Productive People Do Differently](https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2016/01/20/15-surprising-things-productive-people-do-differently)." I am confident that the authors of such articles and books are unaware that they are dicks.

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We all know perfectly well what we *should* do. That's not the problem. 

The problem is that most of us are stressed, depressed, or just plain overwhelmed by the demands of external life and our internal goals.

The privilege possessed by these authors who trick people into thinking what they need is a list of bullet points for success instead of therapy and help can be summarized by this quote from Haruki Murakami's *Norwegian Wood*:

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"'I look around me sometimes and I get sick to my stomach. Why the hell don't these bastards do something? I wonder. They don't do a fucking thing, and then they moan about it.'

Amazed at the harshness of his tone, I looked at Nagasawa. 'The way I see it, people are working hard. They're working their fingers to the bone. Or am I looking at things wrong?'

'That's not hard work. It's just manual labour,' Nagasawa said with finality. 'The "hard work" I'm talking about is more self-directed and purposeful.'

'You mean, like studying Spanish while everyone else is taking it easy?'

'That's it. I'm going to have Spanish mastered by next spring. I've got English and German and French down pat, and I'm almost there with Italian. You think things like that happen without hard work?'

Nagasawa puffed on his cigarette while I thought about Midori's father. There was one man who had probably never even thought about starting Spanish lessons on TV. He had probably never thought about the difference between hard work and manual labour, either. He was probably too busy to think about such things - busy with work, and busy bringing home a daughter who had run away to Fukushima."

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Although it seems innocuous, the disgusting human inclination behind such articles is, "I got mine, and that's my doing, so you must be doing something wrong if you didn't get yours." The more successful someone is, the more they attribute it to their own efforts, as shown by the article "[Poor People And Rich People Have A Vastly Different Outlook On Fate](http://www.businessinsider.com/rich-people-dont-believe-fate-2014-8)." Now, I'm sure that the people reading these articles are not always more intelligent than the people writing them. However, they're not as foolish as the articles imply that they are.

For example, the aforementioned Forbes article reads, "Secret #2: They focus only on one thing." Focus! Why didn't I think of that? I'll be able to be successful now.

Idiotic, right? Most people don't have trouble accomplishing their goals or managing their time because they lack the skill or ability to recognize what they need to do. Instead, they lack the willpower, motivation, energy, etc. **Doing anything from going to the gym to writing a novel becomes easy when you're mentally and emotionally healthy.**

For most of us, trying to address how to make time for a hobby or goal is like trying to build a house by placing windows in thin air before you erect the foundation. A relatively low [18%](https://www.adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics) of Americans have anxiety disorder and [7%](https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression) have major depression, but these are after all extreme disorders. You can well imagine the state of less extreme issues like stress, interpersonal problems, problems with work and money, etc. Talking sincerely with almost anyone about their problems generally reveals a broad spread of unaddressed and downplayed mental and emotional concerns.

We will be better served by focusing on how we can perform self-care and improve our mental and emotional health, instead of continuing to demand self-actualized things of ourselves when we're already having a hard time handling everyday life. Reading about success may feel like self improvement, but it's only a way to increase a sense of guilt and failure. Don't let these pompous authors jerk you around. Contentment is something that has to come *before*, not *after* accomplishment. 

It's true you can do anything regardless of how you feel if you only have enough willpower. But since most of us don't, and since that's a grueling way to live, make self-love and healing goal #1, take it damn seriously, and leave the rest of the "list" blank. Accomplish that goal and the rest will come.

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Image Credits
Success: https://snappygoat.com/b/6d42ac18e5c1046baf2e313bf270520c6dab46e7
Pompy Man: https://snappygoat.com/b/4d780742b1b0c487d3bf4fb4fe8da48c6967e72b