Hello and Goodbye <3 by paintingangels

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cya · @paintingangels · (edited)
$10.76
Hello and Goodbye <3
Howdy.

I keep typing up gigantic paragraphs of goodbyeness and deleting them.  I have been trying to write this for days now. So  I am going to make it short and simple and be on my way.

It’s been fun, meaningful.. enlightening, educational..  all the feels.   But now it’s too much of the opposite..it’s too serious. Too much drama, always it’s something.  It’s first world problems. Drama.  Drama.   Drama.   No,thanks.   I have enough of that in “real life.” 

I don’t need that, nor want it.   I am so tired of thinking about unpleasant things.  Im tired of writing a heartfelt post and seeing downvotes on it.  I can write my thoughts down on paper and not worry. I’ve been doing that again.  

I uninstalled discord 2 and a half weeks ago.  And I will be honest with you, I feel that a weight has been lifted. It’s amazing how heavy things had gotten there.

If anyone sent me a discord message since 2 weeks ago, then I didn’t get it.   And I won’t likely ever get it.  If I open discord back up, there could be something there which would suck me back in.   I can’t do it.  Not for a very long time. 

I’m at http://YouTube.com/serenamatthews if you want to stay in touch. I don’t check it every day though.   

I send love to all of you. I’d start listing names but then I’d be leaving people out.  

So.. goodbye forever, as I usually say.   To my @helpie family, PAL, SGL..   I apologize not to send a more personal goodbye.  I will miss you. I love you guys.   I legitimately do.  

 But I must mention one person.   To @meno, my dear friend.. the one who brought me into helpie, (luring me with Pris) and into discord.. and into your heart, I think... I love you and I miss you. Helpie was never the same after you left, and neither was I.   

Also, to the person who called me a fairweather friend, blocked me, and said that I live on an island of mentally stunted dinosaurs... or something like that... you were the last straw on my proverbial camel’s back.   Those and the other words you said to me were , quite frankly, cruel.   

But.. thank for that, for now I am fully and truly motivated to fly away from this beautiful, mysterious, heartbreaking, unimaginably wondrous sea... and now I can breathe.

This is me breathing.

I leave for all of you the best picture I ever took of my dear friend, the moon.

Love forever, 


Serena



![63E242B55E274BEFB0B552184838B9BC.jpeg](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/paintingangels/LMTI3DIb-63E242B5-5E27-4BEF-B0B5-52184838B9BC.jpeg)
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vote details (147)
@tts · 
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[![](https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png)](http://ec2-52-72-169-104.compute-1.amazonaws.com/paintingangels__hello-and-goodbye-3.mp3)
Brought to you by [@tts](https://steemit.com/tts/@tts/introduction). If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
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vote details (3)
@tcpolymath ·
$0.02
Followed you on Youtube, but I'm probably there even less than you are. If you ever want anything at all I also have the gmail of this username, it's easy to remember, and I can't imagine ever being less than happy to hear from you.

Keep breathing, do what you need, know that I'm still out here liking you even if I'm not great at communicating it.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@justineh ·
$0.09
Not you too ☹️

You are a beautiful soul Serena, and I hope one day you will see what we all see. 

I’ll continue to stalk you elsewhere.. but this post makes me terribly sad.
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vote details (2)
@yidneth · 
If she needs to take  a breath, it's what she must, she knows she has friends here that will always receive her with open arms.  I'm stalking her still too :)
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@clayboyn · 
Well this sucks, but I understand you gotta do what you gotta do to take care of yourself.  Much love and hopefully we'll cross paths again somewhere.  It's a big internet out there after all.  May we never forget the powerful and mystery ways of the chicken attack and a Serena yodel.  All the hugs.
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vote details (1)
@krystle · 
Oh my lovely Serena, I am so saddened to hear this - you've been such a constant source of love and light. I will follow you now on youtube for sure, I don't want to miss anything you create.

I understand that at times things can get overwhelming and you really do need to just look after yourself, but know there is a big group of people here that wish you all the very best in all you do. 

I hope that we will find a new way to connect, I love our whacky conversations and I'm sure I will miss them no end. I hope that you feel better about things in time and heal from whatever has happened, you will always be welcome amongst us and I'm always here if you need anything <3 much love and best wishes for your future endeavors <3
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vote details (1)
@juliakponsford · 
I'm sad to see you going Serena but you have to do what you have to do. I followed your youtube channel so hopefully I'll catch some tunes from you once and a while <3

https://media2.giphy.com/media/pynZagVcYxVUk/giphy.gif
👍  
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@zyx066 · 
Even though you haven't heard from me in a while, this is ... well ... shocking. I hope you'll find the happiness you so thoroughly deserve; you've been a constant source of light and happiness for myself and others, and I believe you've given so much of yourself to Helpie, Discord and all the other projects... If this is what you need, I'm not sorry to see you go even though I, and many others will miss you dearly... Farewell, dear Serena, and may the best of your past be the worst of your future 💖
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@lunaticpandora · 
🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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@soyrosa · 
I never know what to say to goodbye messages: of course I want you to stay (!), but I also see that this place is 'relative' and nothing beats real life and mental health. But at the same time if I just would say 'have a good life' it would not acknowledge how much I appreciate the fact that all these words and stories and even little interactions on Steem we share *matter*, at least to me (and I know many others). 

Well, so there I am :-) I do hope you make your life what you want it to be and hold dear memories on your Steem experiences, even though some of the more recent memories aren't your favourites. Maybe at some point you'll make a return, because of Communities, or some cool dApp that you start using and you suddenly discover it has a Steem log-in ;-))) 

Thanks for all the cookies and chocolate on Discord, we weren't always meeting in the same places because we live in very different time zones, but I remember the taste of all the sweet things we shared :-)

*Hugs* and good luck on all your other adventures - wherever they may be.
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@blewitt · 
Well this totally sucks my dear. 💔
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@yidneth · 
You know that I love you right?  and I'm glad we're still in touch out of here as well, though know you have many friends that will always receive you with open arms when you want to share your moody songs and poetry.  For most part I only can say that I myself got a bit detached from discord a long while because it was too much addiction for me... I reapproached when I was ready taking things at my pace :)  Take your time,  forever or a day... it doesn't matter you're LOVED!
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@joebrochin · 
I am so sorry to hear this. I do hope you come back. If you recall, I came back after over a year of absence and my first post was immediately downvoted by a whale. You convinced me to stay with it. I have just avoided all the drama and stay away from those discussions. 

By the comments here, you have a lot of people who enjoy your presence on Steemit. Just know that. 

We all have to take our own path. I hope yours brings you back to us.
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@thekittygirl · 
<div class="text-justify">I had not seen anything from you in a long time, so I came to see what was going on. I am very saddened by this news, as you were one of the brightest rays of sunshine in the Steem–Discord continuum, and you will definitely be missed. I will be coming back to play your sweet and beautiful songs from time-to-time, and will certainly be thrilled should you come back sometime. {<b>BIG HUGS</b>} to you, dear one! 💖</div>
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