#### Bullying is when one person repeatedly tries to dominate another by mockery, violent acts or rejection. We are not talking here of a simple argument between friends in the schoolyard, but of a relationship of power that hurts or crushes the other and lasts for a while. Often, bullying takes place even in the presence of witnesses. Moreover, the more witnesses there are, the more the bully feels that he has power.
[Credit](https://www.google.com/search?q=bullying+photo&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjqqIecrPHXAhXJvxQKHagjBXcQ_AUICSgB&biw=360&bih=560&dpr=2#imgrc=keK0PdGKAvj3rM:)
 ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/t0ttp6nkwv.jpg)



### The different forms of bullying

#### Bullying can be physical or verbal. The actions and behaviors described below should be repeated and extended over a period of time to conclude that there is intimidation.

#### Physical intimidation: hitting, dropping, pushing, pulling hair, breaking personal items or touching unwanted ones.

#### Verbal intimidation: insulting someone, threatening him, making uncomfortable remarks or humiliating him.

#### Bullying can be direct or indirect. Direct bullying is most common in children and is the easiest to observe. In this case, the harmful gestures are addressed directly to the child (mockery, blows, breakage of equipment, etc.). Indirect bullying goes unnoticed more often. Indeed, it is more difficult for adults to witness false rumors, reputational attacks, exclusion, etc. Both forms of bullying are equally damaging to the child.

[Credit](https://www.google.com/search?q=bullying+photo&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CZHitD3RigL4IkBjB4iAXMRMyInmHmrVWahxUiQf_1so6Z7ikf9cCkU4ITqSVmWpQW22vs6z24Mz7h7tR9TTHp9kQuS42bRrq56HVKhIJYweIgFzETMgRGMt75PbZMu4qEgmJ5h5q1VmocRElVO8I1oxG4ioSCVIkH_17KOme4EV69WO0o5978KhIJpH_1XApFOCE4R1tfIQ0WIdZgqEgmklZlqUFttrxGfccWC6UfwhCoSCbOs9uDM-4e7EYDa_1b0NJM-TKhIJUfU0x6fZELkR0nUcGPSoJLEqEgkuNm0a6ueh1RFARLiEL22hIQ%3D%3D&tbo=u&ved=0ahUKEwi2_IqrrPHXAhUMcRQKHZWoC9UQuIIBCCM#imgrc=NrDqujpMTtipnM:)
 ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/zi139lr6fs.jpg)

### The results

#### In the short term, bullying has the effect of undermining a child's self-esteem. It can also be demotivated, be afraid and not want to go to school . In the long term, bullying can lead to anxiety , academic difficulties, school absenteeism, memory problems, depression, etc. It is therefore important not to take such a situation lightly, to detect the first signs of bullying and to intervene correctly.

### My child is bullied


#### Your child may experience bullying if:



#### - His interest and motivation for school diminishes greatly

#### - He does not want to go to school anymore 

#### - he withdraws into himself, becomes more secretive, and isolates himself

#### - He often tells you that he does not feel well, that he is ill

#### - His notes fall

#### - He sleeps badly

#### - He comes home with dirty clothes or wounds;

#### - he avoids contact with other children

#### - He is not enthusiastic about group or school activities

#### - He lives on anxiety, fear, mistrust

#### - He does not want to talk to you about what he does at school or his peers

#### - He seeks the presence of adults

#### He makes detours for not taking the usual path, wants to arrive very early or very late to school not to cross the students in the yard

#### - He claims to lose (or be robbed) personal items such as his lunch, his snacks , his playing cards, etc. If so, check to see if your child is not being bullied.

### How to help a child who lives by bullying

#### If you suspect that your child is being bullied, the first thing to do is to try to find out more, without overemphasizing.


#### Ask questions and stay calm and attentive; let your child speak without interrupting.

#### Do not judge him. Do not tell him what he should have done or not.

#### Evaluate the situation with him. (Can it change the situation by clearly expressing its limits? Does it have allies? How far does the bullying go?) Above all, do not incite it to violence. If the problem is not resolved through dialogue, ask for the help of the school administration or persons in authority.

#### Help him to maintain self-esteem and encourage him to assert himself.

#### When your child tells you something that is akin to bullying, do not wait, it's better to act.

#### Talk with your child to try to understand what is happening. Bring him to name what he feels. Build on his strengths and help him assess the importance he places on the bully.

#### Help your child by giving him some tips to assert himself (stand up straight, speak without hesitation, have your head up). Feel free to role-play with him. Bring him to a direct position without entering the circle of violence and inappropriate words.

#### Encourage your child to make new friends . If necessary, consult a psychologist or psychoeducator who can work with him on his social skills.

#### If your child does not speak to you, or if you suspect that he / she does not tell you everything, check with his or her teacher and, if necessary, the school principal.

#### If the problem occurs at school, advise your teacher and school principal. Stay calm and do not alert everyone. Do not attempt to resolve the situation directly with the bully or parent. Privilege the presence of a mediator, like the direction of the school.

#### If the school administration does not respond or respond in a way that is satisfactory to you, notify the school board of the situation. If this does not satisfy you either, contact the Student Ombudsman at your child's school board.

#### Stay tuned. Ask for a follow-up to make sure the problem is resolved.

#### If the problem persists and you feel that your child is very affected, ask for help from a psychologist or psychoeducator from the school, the CLSC or an organization near you.

### Intimidation at school: what the law says

#### The Education Act requires school boards to put in place a prevention and intervention plan in the event of violence or intimidation. This plan must be given to parents. The principal of a school (or a member of the board of directors) is responsible for reporting complaints in cases of bullying or violence. Each school board now has its student protector, who ensures that everyone's rights are respected, much like the Protector of the Citizen does.

### My child witnesses bullying


#### If your child tells you that he or she has seen someone else being harassed or intimidated, ask them to tell you the details of what happened. Make sure he was a witness and not the victim. Tell him too that he did a good job of telling you about it and remind him that we should not be silent in the face of intimidation. Ask him if he wants to talk to his teacher with you.

### My child is bullying


#### It is also possible for your child to bully another child. The reflex of a parent can be to deny the situation. Still, you have a role to play and you can help your child. There are several reasons a child can bully someone else. The sooner you face the problem, the easier it will be to fix it.

### Leader or bully?

#### But you have to differentiate between a leader and a bully. Leading is not intimidating. Some children tend to be more powerful than others and lead a duo or group to lead the game or to organize things in their own way. They are natural leaders. Although we must remain vigilant and teach them to listen to others and to respect their fellow students, it is not said that these children will become bullies. We talk about bullying when a child tends to want to dominate others at any cost, regardless of their desires or needs.
[Credit](https://www.google.com/search?q=bullying+photo&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CZHitD3RigL4IkBjB4iAXMRMyInmHmrVWahxUiQf_1so6Z7ikf9cCkU4ITqSVmWpQW22vs6z24Mz7h7tR9TTHp9kQuS42bRrq56HVKhIJYweIgFzETMgRGMt75PbZMu4qEgmJ5h5q1VmocRElVO8I1oxG4ioSCVIkH_17KOme4EV69WO0o5978KhIJpH_1XApFOCE4R1tfIQ0WIdZgqEgmklZlqUFttrxGfccWC6UfwhCoSCbOs9uDM-4e7EYDa_1b0NJM-TKhIJUfU0x6fZELkR0nUcGPSoJLEqEgkuNm0a6ueh1RFARLiEL22hIQ%3D%3D&tbo=u&ved=0ahUKEwi2_IqrrPHXAhUMcRQKHZWoC9UQuIIBCCM#imgrc=EcojukKC-tKLIM:)
  ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/gqob1p9vw3.jpg)

#### Some signs in his behavior may indicate that your child may be committing bullying. For example, it has been shown that children who defy authority, who are incapable of admitting wrongs, who use anger to get what they want, who like to fight and who tend to be manipulative are more prone to bullying.

### The causes

#### A child who bullies others does so for a variety of reasons:

#### He seeks to be valued, to look good in the eyes of others (to please a group, for example, and to feel integrated);

#### He lacks self-confidence and does not know how to assert himself otherwise;

#### He has trouble expressing his anger and frustrations;

#### He does not like to confess his mistakes and to be vulnerable;

#### He has an authoritarian temper and lacks empathy for others;

#### He perceives his actions as self-defense (attack before being attacked);

#### He has already experienced intimidation himself.

### Ways to help your child when he himself a bully

#### If you learn that your child is bullying, the first thing to do is to discuss it calmly with him. Listen to him and let him express his point of view. Then make it clear that you do not accept this kind of behavior. It may be appropriate to give him a consequence related to the gesture of intimidation he has posed, such as apologizing to the other or replacing an object he has broken. Explain to him the consequences of his actions on him and on others. It is important for him to understand that you are taking the situation very seriously and that his behavior needs to change. Thus, he must learn to respect others, to obey the rules and to manage his anger.

#### You can then decide on the most appropriate measures to help him:

#### Spend more time with your child and observe his attitude to help him notice his behavior and correct it as needed.

#### Insist that he respect others and accept people different from him.

#### Find ways for him to express his anger and frustrations better.

#### Work with him on his confidence and his approach to others.

#### If necessary, consult a psychologist or a psychoeducator to help your child better manage his emotions and also to help you cope with this situation.

#### Talk with his teacher or school principal to find a solution together.

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