These dark places are particular to each of us, so none of us can provide you the exit ramp ourselves. Of course we wish you well, but that's also not what you were looking for in conversation, as it's dangerously close to the pity you say you hate receiving (same here). 

My near month away from Steemit was as a result of tumbling into one of these mental spaces. It sucked and felt very lonely, even though I was surrounded by people all day and my partner at home. 

There is no cure for the weather and there is nothing wrong with you. It sucks that your mind goes to this place, but it's also beautiful because it's a part of what makes you Leah. That's little consolation as your try to rub the toy imprint out from your aching foot, but you already knew all this. 

You are light and you are dark. That thought helps me a little when I'm free-wheeling. 

It also sounds like there's some change that you may be desiring consciously or unconsciously. 

Travel well.