Forgiveness is not about forgiving others. It is an action and a process that need to happen on its own. When we cannot forgive ourselves or others for our sins, no matter how much others try to help us, then we are bound to fail. If we do nothing to learn about forgiveness, we will be left to our own devices when circumstances in our lives become too much to bear.
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When I talk about forgiveness, I am not talking about simply forgetting what you did wrong. I am talking about moving past the pain, even if you are feeling ashamed of your actions at the moment. Forgiveness is not forgiving; it is taking the action of learning to forgive. If we do not forgive ourselves and others, we cannot move past our pain. If we want to continue to prosper in this life, we need to forgive others and if we don't, then we can only see our lives inauthentic.
In order to truly learn to forgive, we need to know the difference between forgivable and unforgivable sin. If we are not sure which one we are guilty of, it will be hard to find peace in our hearts. As with many things in life, if we don't know something, we leave it unsure.
For example, if I am engaged in a business relationship with someone, and I fail to extend the courtesy of not saying something hurtful behind his back, I have committed a forgivable sin. On the other hand, if I am involved in a romantic relationship, then maybe it isn't my intentions to hurt the person. It could be that I am so in love with this person that I am unable to think straight. In either situation, forgiveness is the key to moving forward and making things right.
What are some examples of forgivable offenses? There are a lot of different things that we can do wrong. A few examples include being impatient, gossiping, saying mean things behind their back, and criticizing others. In each of these situations, if we choose to forgive and move on, we are showing that we care and that we are human.
When someone else is trying to make us feel bad, they are trying to manipulate us into feeling bad for ourselves. It's like they are saying, "you're not good enough" or "you are not nice enough." It's a way to control and influence us. However, it doesn't make any sense to forgive someone who is doing the same things to you.
There is only forgiveness when there is no longer action taken. Otherwise, what's the point? Some people will say things out of the kindness of their heart, but there is no forgiveness because there was no action taken. In the same vein, if there is no forgiveness, then a wrong doer still has a place in our lives. A lot of forgiveness is necessary in order for us to grow as people and as a whole.
If you were to read through the Bible, you would see that forgiveness is often times mentioned repeatedly. Forgiveness is a huge part of God's plan. It's not just about letting go of an action, but it's also about letting go of the person who made the wrong doing. If you continue to live your life with this attitude, it won't matter if you have done something wrong; it won't matter if you did it again; it will only matter now. If you want to forgive, do so today.
There are many examples of forgivable sin. Forgiveness is required for the believer to move forward in their lives. If you are in doubt, ask yourself how many wrong doings you have committed in your life and try to forgive yourself and others. Forgiving is actually an ongoing thing, not just when we are reminded of a specific mistake. So many of us forget and never realize that we have lived with the wrong doing for so long.
The Bible calls this procrastination of the flesh "fear of man." The fear of man causes us to resist doing the right thing because of the fear of what others will think. It's not wrong to be hesitant sometimes, but it is not a reason to stay inside of your own web instead of working on changing your behavior. Focusing on the acts of others instead of your own wrong doing is not a forgivable sin, either.
It's important to remember that not only do you have the ability to change, but the choices that you make are equally so powerful. God has an amazing plan for us through His Son Jesus Christ. God wants you to walk with Him in spirit, love and faith. When you walk in the knowledge and peace of God, you will find yourself free from the grasp of wrong doing.