做最好的自己 by rivalhw

cn · @rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

$100.51

做最好的自己

<html>
<p>&nbsp;　　昨天同朋友聊天时，朋友跟我讲起一件事，是一位年过六十的联想老大哥分享给她的，大意是成就自己，愉悦别人，前面好多年我们其实反了，先愉悦他人是不对的。我听完后觉得很有道理，便顺口说了句：<br>
&nbsp;　　“说的很对！如果自己都感到不舒服(没有成就自我或让自己过得很拧巴)，又怎么会让别人感到舒服(愉悦别人)呢？”</p>
<p><br>
　　人是个群体动物，<strong>人生活在这个社会上，最渴望的莫过于获得别人的认可，而最害怕的一定是担心被这个社会所抛弃</strong>。</p>
<p><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmUAubeHHSfdYUnZMB9mh8cWYps4fFsVScgwNQdQLZ7SVo/01-05-01.jpg" width="800" height="600"/></p>
<p>&nbsp;延安 ● 南湖&nbsp;</p>
<p><br>
　　多年前我有过一段特殊的经历，我之前在文章中有描述过，那阵子我心情特别沮丧，整日生活在对未来的恐慌中，我留恋过去，希望时光永远能够留住，却又担心明天的到来，我其实并不担心死亡，我甚至想到过自杀，但我却非常害怕被这个社会所抛弃，被人们尤其是亲人和朋友所遗忘。我甚至幻想假如我离开了这个世界，我是否可能会在另外一个世界遥想我离开后的情景？我常在寂静的黑夜里胡思乱想以至于整夜难眠，我想过很多很多，我想自己活着的意义究竟是什么？我为什么要活着？(我)这近三十年都做了些什么？(如果)有一天我真的离开这个社会时，我又留下了什么？那时候我还未成家，唯一牵挂的便是我的父母，我在想父母就我一个儿子，如果有一天我真的离开了，他们会怎样？他们一定会难过，但多少年后呢，会不会还再想起我这个儿子？想到悲伤处，我甚至一度难过的偷偷在被窝中流泪。</p>
<p><br>
&nbsp;　　从前的我看到报纸或电视上出现自杀的人，心中总是一阵鄙视，我实在无法想象人生这么美好，这些人又怎么会想不开跑去自杀？我自己经历过那次痛苦之后，回头再看别人尤其是一些知名人士，回忆起他们曾经也经历过类似，在最难过的时候，有些人甚至想到了自杀来终结自己，我便深深地能理解他们痛苦，仿佛我自己能感受到他们当初的心情。虽然我不畏惧死亡，但是我当时非常害怕被这个社会所抛弃。</p>
<p><br></p>
<p><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmT9cX9eLy9GxYHDgmwXcjv75kStfSmdD25qoLngh7UnyN/01-05-02.jpg" width="800" height="600"/></p>
<p><br>
&nbsp;　　刚走出校门的时候，因为阅历和知识等的缺乏，我对周围的一切都抱着谨慎小心的态度，在工作中，对于别的同事或领导讲的事情，我总是努力去做，即便不是我份内事情；在生活中，对于朋友帮忙的事情，我也总是努力应允，即便有时候我自己也觉得自己有些无能为力，但仍是硬着头皮去做，哪怕事后只是换来别人一声“谢谢”而已。</p>
<p><br>
&nbsp;　　我以为以己度人，别人一定能理解我，但事实上多数时候事与愿违，而且很快，我发现很多事情在我的努力下不是变得更美好了，而是变得更糟了。我被领导批评工作不能及时做好，我心里在委屈地想我当时在帮另外同事在处理一些其它事情，而那位同事就在当场，却当做什么事情都没有发生过似的，最令我沮丧的是，没过多久，我发现他们好像丝毫不曾记得我曾帮过他们。我努力地拿出自己最好的一面来面对朋友，包括做出的一些努力，但换回来的是当我需要帮助的时候，我曾经自认为最好的两个兄弟一个就差当面直接拒绝，另一个索性失联，直到前年却又突然联系我。</p>
<p><br>
&nbsp;　　这么多年过去了，我从一个当初没有阅历、不谙世事的毛头小伙子，变成今天前额头发已经逐渐稀少，两鬓也开始出现白发，即将步入中年的“油性中年男”。我终于明白，前面好多年我们其实反了，先愉悦他人是不对的，做人更应该先成就自我，再(才能)愉悦他人，如果你自己都感到不舒服，生活过的很拧巴，你又怎么可能让你周围的人感到舒适呢?</p>
<p><br>
&nbsp;　　如果再回到从前，我会认真思考这个问题，做最好的我自己。&nbsp;</p>
<p><br></p>
<p><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmaE7o1aYRVgX9Sbixfx9WLWsJgbbyq7WL9kFQSNCucjZq/01-05-03.jpg" width="1440" height="1080"/></p>
<p>&nbsp;延安南三环&nbsp;</p>
</html>

👍 abit, rivalhw, helene, lemooljiang, ace108, joythewanderer, forexbrokr, jackhircus, htliao, justyy, warofcraft, herpetologyguy, stacee, stabilowl, btsabc, susanli3769, mark-waser, ivysrono, lucknie, cnbuddy, dixonloveart, sandra, digital-wisdom, renzhichu, drunkevil, sylvia1997, herlife, ygern, patrickzhou, hannahwu, revelim, connorhcranston, jwaser, hymle, tvb, sarcastic.man, catwomanteresa, lancy, shenchensucc, ethical-ai, wangwenjing, strong-ai, technoprogressiv, nanosesame, morgan.waser, chessmasterhex, cqf, veronicazhu, vandadream, wilburm, tensaix2j, jiangchen, bring, bwaser, santiagocazorla, dailychina, tnam0rken, dailystats, luneknight, dgorbunov, davidjkelley, handyman, dragon40, liangfengyouren, and 49 others

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@tvb · Jan 5 '18

$0.25

沙发

👍 rivalhw

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18 (edited)

你这速度可真快，我才刚写完，才准备自己预览下，你这都沙发了。。。

👍 hellosteem

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@razib59 · Jan 5 '18

Just say thank you I agree with you

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@taillah · Jan 5 '18

good postings and interesting stories @rivalhw

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@christinb · Jan 5 '18

Beautiful photo

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@tvb · Jan 5 '18

$0.38

我经常会产生自杀的想法，我体内那个叫什么神经肽y的分泌好像不太正常，别人饥饿的时候那个会多，我好像不会，所以会有点抑郁，我怀疑是这样。所以最近会尝试做运动，效果好一些了。

其实我总是在叫大伟哥，并不知道大伟哥和我纠结谁更大。但我不得不承认，大伟哥思想的深度和广度，都远胜于我，所以我一直称呼“大伟哥”，因为年长的并一定是年长，更多的是智慧、知识和阅历。

所以大伟哥即便是脸上泛起的油光，也都是营养呀！

👍 rivalhw, renzhichu, shenchensucc

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

我不但年长你，还更有宽度(fat)胜过你吧？哈哈哈

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@tvb · Jan 5 '18

那绝不可能，大伟哥我现在186斤，你不可能宽过我。不过如果论思想的宽度，那我真是自愧不如了。

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@sylvia1997 · Jan 5 '18

哈哈哈，都是营养！

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@tvb · Jan 5 '18

对呀，我其实就一直很喜欢成熟男子，我也不知道为什么，我连对老头都特别有好感。我大学的时候曾经因为一个老师和另一个年轻女老师吵架。

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@renzhichu · Jan 5 '18

$0.25

脸上的油光和稀疏的脑门都是勤于思考的结果，哈哈

👍 rivalhw

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

幸好头发还有，不然你一定会说我用脑过度了。。。

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2 replies

@shenchensucc · Jan 5 '18

最后一句是重点啊。

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@mumingduozi · Jan 5 '18

emmm……我也经常会抑郁

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@tvb · Jan 5 '18

除了休息保持好的睡觉，多运动试试。

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2 replies

@berlin1997 · Jan 6 '18

有点心疼

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@berlin1997 · Jan 6 '18

两个字

“加油”

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@jawad09 · Jan 5 '18 (edited)

$0.30

Indeed a very toching blog. Feeling of death and leaving love ones is most sadest thing in the world. 
But the fact is, everyone has to leave one day. So we should prepare ourself for death well before time. How?
- Well behaviour with everyone. Parents, friends,  family members.
- We should giving in every matter of life.
- Do help poor n needy people without leting the world know. It should be secret.

We should live like a person that people after your death remember forever.
All the best @rivalhw. Keep it up your good work.

👍 rivalhw, jawad09

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

Do help poor n needy people without leting the world know. It should be secret.

I appreciate it very much,thank you @jawad09 .
good luck to you !

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@meixia · Jan 5 '18

我是一个很需要得到别人认同的人，可能是自己有些自卑吧……

👍 langyue

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@langyue · Jan 5 '18

渴望别人认同，多数都好热心的

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@meixia · Jan 5 '18

这个好像真的是！感觉能帮到他们自己也很开心，所以经常帮助别人，但是如果有人利用自己的善良，老是麻烦我，我就会拒绝TA的要求了！

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@langyue · Jan 5 '18

$0.25

很赞的分享，我想很多人都难以真正有这份“悦自己，以悦他人”的豁达的，但愿可以不经历大悲大落，也这样活得随性自由啦

👍 rivalhw

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

但愿可以不经历大悲大落，也这样活得随性自由啦

但愿都如此

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@yulissari · Jan 5 '18

i like your article. if you have time come my bog. i already folow you

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@maiyude · Jan 5 '18

$0.21

古罗马诗人提布鲁斯(Tibullus)的诗句“你要在孤寂中自成一世界。
先要成就自我，才能成就世界。

👍 rivalhw, drunkevil

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@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

说的很对，我也是这个意思，只是我以前不知道有这句名言，谢谢你

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@hannahwu · Jan 5 '18

$0.37

大伟哥是永远的男神 (#^.^#)
在我人生灰暗的时候，我也想过人该有多绝望会自杀，因为我想来想去都舍不得我自己。

👍 rivalhw, hannahwu, shenchensucc

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voter	rshares	pct
rivalhw	25,453,913,435	1%
shenchensucc	3,814,337,697	100%
hannahwu	9,059,954,046	100%

@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

因为我想来想去都舍不得我自己。

看到这里我虽然忍着但仍然 忍不住笑出声来了。。。你太喜感了

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@hannahwu · Jan 5 '18 (edited)

心疼的抱住我自己。😂😂😂
不过我的偶像是高晓松，那沟壑不平的大脸，帅帅的撩头发，此间少年，唯有一睡😂

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1 reply

@shenchensucc · Jan 5 '18

舍不得自己这么美的妹子就这么走了，哈哈。

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@hannahwu · Jan 5 '18

我本来想写的是这么可爱的我自己😁然后默默的没写。

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2 replies

@berlin1997 · Jan 6 '18

优秀的思想，很优秀！死了就真的什么也没有了

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@hannahwu · Jan 7 '18

是的啊😄认真生活，认真写文。

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@humaidi · Jan 5 '18

👍 good..

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@shenchensucc · Jan 5 '18

$0.24

严以律己，宽以待人，大伟哥，我看了你的帖子买的路印LRC今天大涨，哈哈。

👍 rivalhw

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rivalhw	0 B		25,453,913,435	1%

@rivalhw · Jan 5 '18

恭喜哈

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@hannahwu · Jan 7 '18

$0.25

请客喝奶茶！见者有份。

👍 rivalhw

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properties (23)vote details (1)

@wangyc · Jan 5 '18

好像有头脑的人，头上都不是多么的茂盛。

properties (22)

@weiwang01 · Jan 5 '18

先成就自己

properties (22)

@veronicazhu · Jan 5 '18 (edited)

>人活在这个社会上，最渴望的莫过于获得别人的认可，而最害怕的一定是担心被这个社会所抛弃.

大晚上的被大伟哥扎心了…… 
我是典型“人前哈哈哈，人后玻璃心”的，想想自己岁数不小了，心理怎么还是不够强大呀！哈哈哈！

properties (22)

@dixonloveart · Jan 5 '18

时光匆匆，过往的一切都是很珍贵的回忆。

properties (22)

@iamgun · Jan 6 '18

rivalhw!! Thank you, your Post.

properties (22)

@berlin1997 · Jan 6 '18

人生活在这个社会上，最渴望的莫过于获得别人的认可，而最害怕的一定是担心被这个社会所抛弃。

这句话真的是实诚，道尽人的心酸，有点点酸楚。很温暖

properties (22)

@zhanxiao · Jan 6 '18

做最好的自己，好好努力！共勉！

properties (22)

@herlife · Jan 6 '18

$0.24

不畏将来，不念过往！以前的时候也有过一段灰暗时期，至今都记得非常清楚那时候的状态，不知道自己要出生活在这个世界上干嘛，觉得生活没有意义，自杀的想法倒没产生，因为我会纠结选择哪种自杀方式，跳楼摔下来太难看，万一没死残废更痛苦，跳河呢，呛死的过程很难受，割腕呢，对自己下不了手...所以还是好好活着了

👍 rivalhw

properties (23)vote details (1)

@mygirl · Jan 6 '18

很多时候，我们渴望一个赞同的眼光，但是很所时候事与愿违。尽管多次冷眼旁观，但是这份热情还是得保持下去！

properties (22)

@walkerin · Jan 6 '18

有阵子感觉郁闷了，虽然没有去医院检查，但我觉得抑郁了，有段时间常有要从高处跳下去的念头，不知道为什么，心里什么也没想，就是有个冲动、有种力量在怂恿我跳下去，但理智还在，一直没跳。基督教说无处不在诱惑我们，那时我真的很相信是有魔鬼的，又不无法解释我心里的这些念头，从没跟人说起过，人家不会关心，也不在乎，何况也说不清楚，不是当事人怎么可能理解。

properties (22)

@wilburm · Jan 6 '18

还是我最胆小，这种事情想都不敢想。不过我有我那些消极的文字啊，虽然不知道别人看了会怎么想，但我一直觉得我在成就自我。

properties (22)

@itchyfeetdonica · Jan 7 '18

$0.25

看完挺有感触 我高考前也想过自杀 觉得学习压力太大 后来走出去看到外面这么广阔的世界 觉得以前的想法很可笑 还有你提到的初入职场时总是帮别人做非份内的事 我也经历过 可能是因为初出茅庐不够自信 总是渴望得到别人的肯定 结果反而迷失了自己 后来才逐渐明白：你若盛开  蝴蝶自来 🙂

👍 rivalhw

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