[Steemfest⁴]The road to Steem Fest | Fears by roxane

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· @roxane · (edited)
$34.34
[Steemfest⁴]The road to Steem Fest | Fears
# Whoop Whoop Whoop... Steemfest is coming soon !

Yesterday, I got the Steemfest Email saying "11 days left before SF4". 

11 days ? Does that means that I am flying to BKK in one week only ?

11 days... Wow. What have I done since SF4 has been announced ? Why I haven't participated in any @roadtosteemfest at all ??? !!! That's was the best way to start blogging again and decrease my fears to participate to SF4 ! 

So... This is my first post #roadtosteemfest since @anomadsoul created it last year !

### So, what about my fears... ?

#### 1. Getting back into Steem's world after so many months... years!

My biggest fear is clearly this one! 

After a year of full-time blogging on Steem, I got pregnant and gave up all my projects to devote myself only to my pregnancy: mental preparation, physical preparation, material preparation...  

No longer present on Steem, no longer having any knowledge of the ecosystem, but I feel connected to this great family. 

![46110186_10156007607242749_6203431345348149248_n.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWCwLXSR6XgASGpaJBs7HHUqR8pG5ASd3HpCusfwuGtHE/46110186_10156007607242749_6203431345348149248_n.jpg)
**Credit: @connecteconomy 's picture**

When I see that, just by quickly looking on Steem posts, that so many friends will be there @misslasvegas, @martibis, @karinxxl, @louis88, @elizacheng, @joythewanderer, @vaelriey, @celestal, @lizanomadsoul, @travelgirl, @gtg, @bubke, etc. 

But, seriously, what's the point of participating in Steemfest when you don't see any Steemians anymore? When you don't know what's going on in Steem's world anymore? When you feel like you don't know anyone anymore, that you don't have much to say to yourself, that you have completely changed your life, your world, your reality? 

Despite my absence from Steem for almost two years, I have participated in Steemfest2 and Steemfest3 and I have always grown up thanks to the great encounters I have been able to make there.

There is no reason for me to participate to SF4, to go and meet Steemian again, but my heart tells me to do so, and I follow my heart, which has always guided me in all the rational, irrational and emotional decisions I make every day. 

![IMG_3786.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmY1JhTofKZLUTfJiyWREwfASxuArbFJrExsHFnBvtNjJj/IMG_3786.JPG)

#### 2. Fly alone with my baby  
@oroger is at a tech conference and so he couldn't be in Asia at the beginning of November, but we had been away for months, long before SF4 was announced. Only, he won't be there. It only arrives in mid-November. And since I didn't want to wait for him at home while he was at his conference, and since SF4 was taking place in Bangkok, I decided to take my luggage, my baby and book a plane ticket to leave before him.

Of course, everyone asked me if I had lost my mind: to take such a long flight alone with such a young child. 

I have put all the chances on my side to make this trip go as smoothly as possible: I booked a direct flight with a very good airline, I read dozens of articles on how to manage a plane trip with a baby, how to manage jetlag, how to finally prepare such a long trip so that everything goes as smoothly as possible... 

and finally, I have flight so many time in my life... It shouldn't be too hard with a baby ! 

![IMG_3852.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNwno5PKXTpsGZ42h3TnvTEEYSxbFjgLBZEM5Auj9jbVj/IMG_3852.JPG)

#### 4. Not knowing how to manage my emotions of being back in Bangkok

My dream as a young adult was to live in Bangkok. I spent some time there... I love this city, this megalopolis. I begged @oroger for years to move there, to buy a condo, to make our lives there.

How will I manage to return to Europe and its so cold winter after 1 month in Asia, BKK, the city of my day and nights dreams ? 

![Ecosse-2017-GSM-052.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNgQnYW7MWUUazBvL5MYKfAbMZoSR48Beoc3jibt2CUqJ/Ecosse-2017-GSM-052.jpg)

#### 5. Get a ticket for SF4 at the last minute

I still don't have any tickets. Just like last year, I waited until the last minute to buy it... I was afraid that I would not be able to participate actively because of fatigue, weight, back pain, the growing baby. This year, I'm afraid something will happen and we won't be able to leave, that I'll decide in a moment of madness to move my ticket to fly with Olivier 10 days later, or simply... that there will be no more tickets available for purchase! Fortunately, I know that there is always someone out there who sells his ticket at the last minute! 


### Anyway,  see you in Thailand! I send you a warm hug from a cold Belgium !
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 75 others
👎  
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vote details (140)
@tts ·
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@chrisparis ·
Bon SteemFest 4!!!😎

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/chrisparis)
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@roxane ·
:)
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@bubke ·
$0.14
Great, we both have 1 roadtosteemfest post now, sharing the last place :-)

I am hoping that a 2nd meeting with same steemians will be less formal and have room to talk more personal and/or more deeply about things.  

So baby talk is as good as steem talk for me :-)

i think soyrosa and mammasita are not coming though
👍  
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@roxane ·
I knoooooow :( They aren't coming :( Next time ! 
What does mean "sharing the last place in a Roadtosteemfest post " ? ^^ 
You will get a lot of baby talk :D And also talking with the baby ! She is a real talkative girl :D Can't wait to see you !
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@vaelriey ·
$0.15
Yeay you are coming!! @joannewong is looking for someone to buy her Steemfest ticket because she won her Steemfest ticket! You can contact her to inquire about it 😃
👍  
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@roxane ·
Ok ! :) But I will wait till the very last moment - With the baby, I will not really be able to join neither in the evening neither in the conferences. It's more to be with all of you :)
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@joannewong · (edited)
Thanks @vaelriey! Yeah am selling my SF ticket because I won 1. :)
👍  , ,
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@karinxxl ·
$0.15
ow do make it happen! would be great to see you there and you little one as well!
powerwoman making that all happen!
👍  
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@appreciator ·
$0.15
Its the community thing that actually attracts you to eventually participate even after being absent for long time. Congratulations on your baby, hopefully whole visit will went fine with him. Good Luck!

This post has been appreciated and featured in daily quality content rewards. Keep up the good work.
👍  
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@blazing ·
$0.15
steemians got your back their nothing to be worried about :D
👍  
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@mammasitta ·
I can’t find enough words how sad I am that I will not be with all of you. It would have been the 4th time but health goes first and I am healing .....big hugs and don’t fear!!! 💕

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://partiko.app/referral/mammasitta)
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