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Controllers as individuals have difficulty expressing and dealing with their needs, wants and feelings. This in turn leads to anger issues because their needs aren't being met. Due to these unmet needs, they're disrespectful of other people’s needs and boundaries. They fear conflict, but have a knack for creating conflict and discord.
The following four styles illustrate common ways control freaks disguise their attempts to control:
1. The Sweet Controller
This person is often passive-aggressive, polite, pleasant and sweet in order to get what he or she wants. They're seemingly innocent and charming. Initially, we respond positively to them, but later, we are left with a bad taste in our mouth as we recognize we're being manipulated, used and/or played.
2. The Distant Controller
This person is rigid, emotionally cold, detail-oriented, efficient and often a perfectionist. It's difficult to get close to him or her, as they don’t let down their guard easily. He or she has difficulty with teamwork and collaborative efforts, as they believe they know best and automatically assume others will let them down. With this individual you can feel invisible.
3. The Passive Controller
This person is a martyr. He or she will tell you to do what you want and that they don’t care. But the hidden message is, “You actually better know and do what I want because if you don’t, you'll be punished.” With this individual, you're in a catch 22 — damned if you do and damned if you don’t; therefore, it leaves you feeling powerless or helpless.
4. The Angry Controller
This person is a bully and is ruthless. He or she says to the world, “I want what I want when I want it, and I will get it.” It’s their way or the highway. With this individual you'll feel intimidated.
Image from Google.