In this article you will learn:
 Where is the will and how it develops;
 How a child learns to show will;
 How not to suppress the will of the child;
 The main mistakes of parents in interacting with the will of the child.

You can name those areas of the brain that are responsible for volitional effort, for development, imagination, logical thinking, and so on.  But, probably, it would be too primitive to say - this part of the brain is responsible for the will.  The brain is still terra incognita (lat. "Unknown, unknown land" - ed.), An unknown country.

 On the other hand, there is a certain force that makes a living creature pass the really most difficult test - birth.  Somehow they compared the efforts that a human infant makes at birth, so it appears with the efforts that an adult needs to stop a loaded wagon.  Somewhere on this level is the will.  It is a life force.  Can this be called a will, a desire to survive, a desire to appear and scream, to open your lungs?  May be.  Far from everything rests on physiology.

 How willpower develops
 Ever since the days of the ancient Greeks, it was clear that a lot depends on social learning.  A child under 6-7 years old is one large sensory organ.  Separate separately the development of the will, the development of the emotional sphere, the development of fantasy, thinking - it is impossible, these are all processes that occur simultaneously.  Classics of psychology believed that movements and words are two factors that contribute to the development of will.

 There are two concepts in psychology - field behavior and volitional.

 Field behavior is something that is shown either by very young children, or by children with disabilities or with developmental disabilities — when they are distracted by any sound, any color, or any tactile new experience.  They are immediately visible.  He comes in, runs around the room, blows everything absolutely, tries everything, but does not stop at anything - there is no object that he would begin to study.
 Volitional behavior.  Gradually, with the development and strengthening of the nervous system, the development of the psyche, field behavior is transformed into volitional behavior.  A child learns the world through movements, through the absorption of information that exists outside.  The main information is your own body (what gets into your mouth, ear, and so on), your own erratic movements are gradually realized, but without the presence of a close adult, the child will not become a person.
 The main driving forces of a child’s development are habits, imitation, imagination, goodwill or veneration, which applies to the people around the child.  Up to 6 years of age, support, a close emotional bond between a child and an adult is very important for the development of volitional behavior.  I don’t just have a desire to run, stand, walk, and so on, I see that adults around me can do it perfectly — they walk, talk, do something with their hands, and so on.

https://kolesogizni.com/images/image/article/1-589378572.jpg

The power of will the child
When the child has mastered the movements, he feels independent, he walks with confidence, running away from adults, says that is feels separate being, there is "I" and appears terrible for most adults the word "no". The child at this moment developing will, developing it, developing the brain, it is manifested in what we call the "crisis of three years". Often adults are lost and do not know where the will is, and where the vagaries of where stubbornness, and where passivity.

Under the development of the child's will means things are very simple and very banal, which we call habits. This is what gives the child the opportunity to move on, but habits forms the adult of the adult depends the correct mode of the day the child, whether he knows how to make a household, it is very clear for adult things, and for the child, they are extremely sometimes complicated, unusual – wipe pens, brush teeth, put in place a Cup so on. This is the formation of habits. Is the formation of a discipline. When habits become sustainable – we can say: this person is responsible, independent, he takes the initiative, and we say he is obedient. In the best sense of the word "obedience", that is, people can already follow the rules. Another thing - what are these rules? They should be simple, clear and reasonable.

The cultivation of bezvolosy
Now many meanings has the word "obedience" and "an obedient child" bearing in mind often the child's limp, but they are completely different things. When a child is obedient in a good way, he is able to control himself, to restrain their impulses, can follow the rules, or the requirements of adults – this is the manifestation of volitional behaviors. On the other hand, if there is not sufficient (not excessive, but sufficient) control by adults, who sends in the right direction development of the child, then there are two extremes – either apathy and apathy "I don't know what I want, I want what you tell me mother" – no vector. Or will, when the child has no rules, no boundaries, he's scared and the only way to stay alive – all command, but the child is not experiencing this pleasure, he experiences a lot of fear, and fear and aggression are two sides of the same coin.

The education of the will and the absence of boundaries is a completely different side of the vector.

https://kolesogizni.com/images/image/article/2671458898.jpg

In an adult, in uncertain circumstances, there is panic.  Children are much calmer and safer when they know that there are boundaries, there are rules.  It is necessary to speak briefly, clearly and in essence, preferably without unnecessary emotions.  A wonderful way out is to remember children's language and connect images and imagination.  In the morning, to tell a child who did not sleep enough and does not want to go to kindergarten or school that this is necessary is not raising his will, it is not being able to find clear words for the child.  All the time I tell my parents that they have a wonderful button and this button is called a sense of humor, you first click on it, come up with something funny, pleasant, unusual, then you indicate your requirements.

 A manifestation of the will is in the game.  What is hide and seek?  This ability to hold your breath in such a way, withstand it, not give in to the impulse, when they pass by, don’t jump out.  This is also a strong-willed effort.  Or to build a tower, do you need to do this carefully and not breathing - is it a willful effort?  Of course, strong-willed effort.  And do not cry when the children play the game and really want to win and understand that they will not win - this is also a strong-willed effort.

 How can parents not impose on the child
 It is very difficult to separate and understand your desires and your will, to realize yourself as yourself, and not as your mother’s daughter, or the best student in school.  I often hear when adults come and tell that the careless, unrighteous word of an adult, significant person really cut off the will to develop in a certain direction.
What I really want to convey to my parents - no one has canceled 7-year cycles.  Up to 7 years, it is definitely not worth it to intellectually develop a child; these are physiologically unjustified needs - to know letters and numbers in three years.  This is a great desire to win the approval of adults, and the child’s natural need is to fantasize, run, jump and play, rather than learn.  There is a California test for the readiness of the body for intellectual learning - to raise a hand up and, bending at the elbow, through the crown, to reach the left ear with the right palm and vice versa.  Six-year-olds are not reached, their handles are small, their bones have not yet grown, they cannot.  This exercise by itself is obtained when the body is physiologically ready, these are external indicators of when those parts of the brain that are no longer responsible for the game and fantasy, but for thinking, memory are ready, the child has become physically resilient and, at least, can sit for 30 minutes  , something to remember and concentrate.

 Yes, I understand that there are very talented children who were born to be surely Mozart, and you won’t tear the violin out of your hands and will sing, you won’t close your mouth either - but this is an exception to the rule.

 We have children too early to graduate from school as teenagers, and immediately their parents shove them into a completely incomprehensible university, and at 21, only when the frontal lobes of the brain have more or less matured - then a person is able to understand what he really wants,  which direction to go in order to achieve precisely this result.