Interactions that are routine for many can be unusually difficult for me. The interpretation of aggression in written exchange can spin me right into the earth. Any context-lacking comment on Facebook, a tagged tweet, a cryptic text message . . . I prefer talking face to face and with individuals who are able to meet me at a common place of understanding, who are willing to consider what I have to say without first applying it to themselves. But I prefer to avoid everyone else face to face in order to protect my vulnerability. Compassionate communication requires an open heart and honesty. <center><img class="wp-image-2678 " src="http://honeyquill.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/2580801347_07458b7e31_z.jpg" alt="2580801347_07458b7e31_z" width="501" height="328" /> *It's hard not to lock my heart back up even knowing what a painful way that is to live.*</center> This is an imperfect skill for me, but I have worked so long on this style of connection it is all the more shocking when individuals do not receive my communications as compassionate. I feel tossed in the wind and have to scramble to find my feet. Being a survivor is like that. A light breeze can sweep your legs out from under you. You find yourself splayed out while everyone else gapes with incredulity. I want to talk about being grounded. Being rooted to the earth. Having firm footing from an emotional or spiritual perspective which plants you firmly in the physical realm. Why is it so quick for me to lose my footing? For me, it is an issue of survival. The best way to be grounded is to be confident. I am plenty confident in myself. I am plenty confident in the earth. I lack confidence in the people surrounding me. I do not trust others to understand what I am saying and to not try to hurt me. Again, when I am talking I am open and honest. I am vulnerable on purpose. And yes, I have had people take advantage of that. When I stutter, for example--when I get caught in a mental loop and am unable to find my verbal footing--friends and loved ones talk over me. They feel free to do so because I am unable to speak for myself. This happens with all manner of people. Especially privileged people, and especially especially privileged people who recognize their privilege but consider themselves sensitive and believe others must see them that way. Individuals vulnerable not from their hearts, but from their egos. These people frighten me the most. They have all the power in this world and choose not to see how they use it against those of us less privileged. They demand we are grateful and punish us when we are not by tightening the ropes of their privilege around us to hold us outside, to keep us other, lower, contained while they rehabilitate their belief in their moral superiority to others like them, but especially to Others like me. My survival is physical, racial, religious, female, sexual, intellectual and successful. If you are like me, we must stop requesting the world step down and help each other step up even as we step on. To my fellow mental health, survivor, writing, special needs parents, self-care and life writers (and more! If you see yourself here, you too.), I offer a hand to help you stay tethered. Let's only get swept up together. *image from pixabay.com*
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I am the same way. Any perceived aggression in text throws me into defensive stance. Which of course opens up a whole can of worms that was not even there in the first place- I essentially created the whole thing.
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Resteemed your article. This article was resteemed because you are part of the New Steemians project. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch
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A great title and a rare skill! I would redefine 'grounding' as being where you understand life from, and the understanding/world view we actually live from rather than intellectually support. Our grounding is where we 'meet' the rainy days of life from https://media.giphy.com/media/XhZWcjEB1Bkoo/giphy.gif We are always going to get wet, but do not need to be swept away! To me, having a deeper grounding is about understanding/experiencing more deeply how life actually works and how we are living in the moment to moment feeling of our thinking (rather than being an effect knocked around by the causes in the world) That understanding and coming back to that allows us to face adversity with an open heart - an open heart being allowing thoughts and feelings to flow through us rather than getting 'stuck' Of course we all get stuck and then we just need a little nudge to be back in our flow. https://media.giphy.com/media/sh8ST8oSbPKZG/giphy.gif
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I love, love, love this comment. Upvoted and read
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Thank you for such a positive response :) Much of my current understanding is work in progress as I move from a more cognitive approach to a more spiritual way of working (but one that has to have the evidence make sense too!). thanks again!
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Good luck in your struggles. In life, different people have different struggle. My struggle is having an autistic son but I try to stay positive. [Spreading Positivity One Post At A Time]( https://steemit.com/@positivesteem)
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I also have an autistic son (and am autistic)! Happy to connect.
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Glad to know you as well. We can share our experiences. Following you.
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