Word to the wise. It really isn't a good idea to reply to the question "will you still love me when I'm old and fat" with the response "what do you mean when?" I thought she'd get the reference to a very old joke. Instead she got really angry. Harsh words were exchanged. She got an extremely good exchange rate on the words. I came up with at least four for every one she threw at me. She's calmed down now, thanks to the chloroform. Of course I'd never hit a woman. I'd pay someone who can hit harder to do it for me. It's called outsourcing. Or in certain circumstances an alibi. They say there's no reason to hit a woman. There's no reason for Christmas either, but try stopping that from happening. I agree a man should never hit a woman no matter what the provocation. But purely for the sake of clarification, if a woman comes at me swinging a tire iron would it be permissible to send her a strongly worded Tweet?
-
-
![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRh7LSpPoUFVYqQFJXiD4prw2vBydBQvgWrAmYz51MUZf/image.png)
(The copyright to this image is the property of Astrologymemes.com.)

-
-
Back in the Good Old Days, punching your wife in the face was not only permitted, it was pretty much compulsory. In order to keep them and their ovaries in check. And as we all know ovaries are the most dangerous organ in the human body. It could have been testicles, but they're carried in a bag outside the body. So they don't count. Do you think Adolf Hitler would have existed if it wasn't for ovaries? Granted a sperm has some responsibility, but mostly it's women and their ovaries. The more women ovulate the more chance there is of another Fascist dictator, hell bent on global domination, being born. Can we afford that risk? Yes of course we can you morons. If it wasn't for ovaries none of us would exist. But is that a bad thing? If none of us existed, wouldn't the world be a much better place to live in?

I've painted myself into a rambling corner there. Proving that ovaries are vital to the continued existence of humanity. So if you're in favor of existing then ovaries are a price worth paying. I'm not heavily in favor of existing, I'll be honest. As I get older I become less and less favorable towards it. Eventually I can see myself not existing. Although I can also see myself bestriding the world like a great colossus. Hordes of people bowing down to worship at my feet. That's got less chance of happening I suppose. Let's call that a draw shall we. The jury is still out on whether ovaries should exist.

What about keeping them in special camps though? Somewhere safely away from the general populace. Where they can't do any harm. The good ones could be allowed out on day release. If they're very good they could get parole. Before all the lady women get up in arms about this, let me point out that if your ovaries were safely locked away in a maximum security institution, you wouldn't have periods. That's inescapable logic. 

I think I've given all of you food for thought there. It's only by tackling these contentious issues that we can achieve progress. At some time in the near future I intend to go just as deeply into earwax. I mean why does it have to taste that bad? No one ever makes the mistake of eating that twice. So for homework I want you all to study this serious issue. Could the problem be solved with earwax flavorings? For example. Do as much research as you can for next time.