SORRY THIS ISN'T A COMEDY OPENMIC ENTRY BUT I CAN'T REMOVE THE TAG.
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It would take a lot for me to kill another man. An absolutely huge amount. I should know because the amount I had to carry the last time I killed a man was insane. There's the bolt cutters, razors and the secateurs for a start. Then you've got the electrical's and the chemicals and all of those different clamps and torturing irons. It's a nightmare, but I'm a perfectionist. Don't get me started on how much bleach I get through though. I know I shouldn't be this hard on myself, but it gives me an erection.
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(The copyright for this image is the property of Dain Yoon)
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Despite his many forebodings the road trip went largely without incident. It wasn't arduous in any way shape or form. As evening descended they had almost reached their initial destination. Angelique had narrowed down the location to within a hundred meters or so. The timing was more guess work at this juncture. The portal could be early or it might be late. There was an unknown margin of error on this due to the fact time was broken. For an absolute brain box, Nadia was great company. Having moved in the academic world for several years and having met many very smart people, Jake found they were generally hard work. The most intelligent of people had very little to talk about outside their experience. Ever narrowing experience. It was that old adage. Scientists learned more and more about less and less until they knew everything about nothing. Apart from the fact, Jake had discovered, that nothing was a really bad thing. Get them on their subject and they'd stultify the life out a brick.
"What are you planning to do when you get to the Prime Node?" Nadia inquired of Jake.
"Beyond trying to find Sharon, I have no idea. Anyway asking me what I will do tomorrow is pointless. I don't plan that far ahead."
the Polish woman chortled.
"Doesn't that cause you problems?"
"Not really. I tend to avoid problems. I don't do problems at all if I can help it. Because I can't deal with a problem. I've never had any problems before. I have almost zero experience of solving problems to be candid. I suppose in a way I've led a very privileged life. Take you for instance you're a physicist who solves problems on at least a daily basis. You get cast into an alternative dimension, that's way worse than your own, yet you survive. Me, I'd have been dead within a week."
"Surely you exaggerate."
"No. Ask Hermes if you like. On second thoughts don't. I have done nothing of any importance with my life. The first decent thing I've done was rescuing you and that was only because I had to to get you home. As far as I was concerned all I had to do was drive round and give you a lift. That's all I'm doing. It's purely coincidence that you need to go in the same direction."
Angelique disagreed. Only very slightly.
"Jake is being unfair to himself."
Hermes had to butt in.
"The cheeky beggar. That's my job."
"And you're very good at it Hermes." The avatar responded. "In order not to contaminate this dimension he had to be very circumspect. Keep a low profile and affect as little as he possibly could. Sharon was the one who did most of the leg work. She had to. Not only here but in other dimensions. This entailed many transitions between realities. It was because of these that she eventually developed terminal breast cancer."
His heart sank.
"What? That was all down to me? Why would I do that to someone I loved."
He was quite annoyed when Angelique laughed.
"Oh my. If you think you had anything to do with this decision you are wrong. It was hers alone."
Jake knew that was true.
"Hold on one moment. You seem to be saying passing through these portals is bad for your health."
"It can be if you over use them. Sharon made hundreds of transits between here and many other realities. Sometimes as many as five in one day. The damage to her DNA had no time to remedy itself. It was a cost she gladly paid."
"Thanks Angelique. Sorry but I'd rather be hearing that from her. All that pain and suffering she went through for me. Couldn't she have used some nanites to heal her?"
This was Hermes area of expertise.
"She could have, but it would have made things much more troublesome. Sharon knew her timeline more or less. When she left she had only a couple of days before she was dead. Her narrative on this time line had to be as close to completed as possible. You know what the narrative is don't you Jake."
The bastard was laughing at him. Or his ignorance, which was much worse.
"Of course I don't. It's like everything else I hear. Illogical and confusing. The more I hear the less I know. Most of what I do know about all this I don't understand. I was a military historian. I studied military history. Mainly by using the internet. When I wasn't doing that all I did was deliver lectures and Power Point presentations. The worst part is that I now know this was a deliberate choice I made. I could have done science stuff that would come in handy. Instead I'm an expert on old battles on a planet that effectively won't exist. History is of no practical use where we're going."
"Oh Jake." Nadia's voice came from the back seat. "You cannot know yet what use anything you know may be. It is impossible to calculate the value of any knowledge. It only has value when you use it."
"I appreciate the support but all I did with any of my knowledge was pass it on."
"Which has great value." The physicist retorted."
"We're here." Hermes announced in a sing song voice.
The car drew to a halt in a lay by. Jake turned the engine off. There was over a third of a tank left. There below, and to the left, lay the port of Dover. They could see the lights of the buildings, and those of the ships in the Channel, twinkling in the darkness.
"What do we do now apart from wait?" Jake asked. "I'm fine here I'll sleep in the car no problem. What about you Nadia? I've got enough cash for you to stay at a very reasonable hotel for the night."
"No thank you. I will sleep in car like you."
They settled in for the night. Knowing that they'd be there for a day or so.
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"WARNING."
Jake turned over in his bed. The smell of coffee and bacon wafting in from the kitchen. Was that the rattle of a tray? Oh boy he must have been good. It looked like he was getting breakfast in bed. He pretended to still be asleep. She liked to surprise him with these things. The most important aroma tickled his nostrils as he lay still trying not to smile. The smell of her. Slitting his eyes he saw Sharon reversing in through the bedroom door. Wearing only one of his shirts if he was not mistaken. As she passed between the sunlit window and him his wish was confirmed. This was indeed heaven.
"WARNING."
Eyes now shut he awaited his lover. Something had tried to interrupt his contentment. Something urgent. Nothing could be that urgent. The bed shifted as she put one knee on it.
"Wakey, wakey sleepyhead. Got you something special."
"Mmmmm, if it's not my darling angel then I'm going to be disappointed."
"Better than that."
"Nothing could be better than that. I refuse to believe it."
He felt her fingers delicately tickle his chest and face.
"How about your darling angel and breakfast."
"URGENT WARNING. URGENT WARNING."
He sat up and stretched. His eyes taking Sharon in from top to bottom and back.
"I don't know which to enjoy first."
"I'd say your breakfast before it goes cold. I'll stay hot a lot longer."
"You'll stay hot forever."
He pulled the tray onto his lap and unrolled the napkin. This wonderful lady thought of everything.
"You need to wake up." Sharon smiled at him softly.
"I'm awake. I swear I'm awake. Now let me get outside of this before I get inside of you."
"Jake you have to wake up." Her smile had morphed into a frown.
"Have I done something wrong?" He waved his arms. "See I'm wide awake. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to enjoy this breakfast and more importantly you. Come over here and sit beside me. I don't mind sharing."
"CRITICAL WARNING. URGENT. IMMEDIATE ATTENTION MANDATED."
"Please Jake, you have got to wake up. We need to get out of here now."
"Whatever for? Besides I don't want to get out of here. It's got a bed and we can do magical things on this bed."
"WARNING. IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED. SITUATION CRITICAL."
"I'm begging you Jake. You have to wake up now."
He smiled at her despite her mounting anger.
"Stop messing around and get over here."
"WARNING URGENT WARNING."
"Forgive me I have to do this."
"What do you mean? You don't have to do anything except come over h..." The slap rocked his head back and to the side. Jake jolted upright, his neck stiff. Balls. He was still in the car. That had been a dream. He wasn't with Sharon. No, they were sitting beside the road and Nadia was shaking him. He fended her off.
"Apologies. The portal is open Jake."
That should be good but Nadia looked horrified. A quick look round told him why. They were blocked in by a long queue of traffic, which stretched from well behind them all the way down to the harbor.
"Shit. When is that portal due."
Nadia's arm came from between the seats gesturing.
"It's opening now. We have mere minutes at most, possibly seconds."
"Oh fuck." There it was. The unmistakable shape of a portal opening. All the way down at the harbor's edge. "Fuck, fuck fuck. How the hell do we get there? There's no room on the road." What the hell is happening?"
"There has been a bomb threat." Angelique answered. "The authorities are searching all vehicles departing from this port. There are armed police between here and the portal. They will try to prevent us proceeding as we need to. Jake, I cannot tell you how to proceed. All I can say is; it can be done, but at great risk to you and Nadia."
Twisting and turning in his seat wasn't doing a lot. Maybe he should start the fucking engine. It roared into life. Thank you Doxy. I owe you another one.
"Hermes old friend, have you got anything in your locker that will help here?"
"Sure do boss. Turbo boost coming right up."
His skin became tight his muscles straining to burst through it. Far more power than he'd ever known flowed through him. Heart racing, blood pumping energy from out of nowhere. The whole world slowed to a crawl. He could pick out the freckles on the face of the armed officer half way down the slope.
"Nadia? Get down into the foot well. Keep yourself low. We are in for a very bumpy ride."
Rattled off so quickly it was incomprehensible until a comically slowed Hermes interpreted. The cars blocking the road edged forward. Flooring the accelerator he jerked the wheel hard left and forced his way through a gap at least a foot narrower than the vehicle. The screech or tortured metal alerting the police. He was now on the wrong side of the road. There were a few coming in the opposite direction when one would have been too many. Still keeping his foot down he raced through the gears and down the hill. The first car swerved out of their path. The second braked hard and slid across to the right leaving barely enough room for him to jet past. Weapons were being raised. More police were coming. Half way in under ten seconds. The cars on his side of the road that should have been headed towards him all stopped. Forming a very effective road block. The first bullet starred the window, then the second. He could see the guns jerking. Giving him a split second warning.
There was a gap between two cars on his left. Jake braked hard and swerved so the car hit the front one sideways, sending it several feet forward and enabling him to get through. This was rough ground. The car was slowing and the bullets had made the windscreen opaque. His right arm punched through it. Clearing a portion. Now the wind was hitting his face. Wrong side of the road for that portal.It was starting to flicker and drift away from him. It would close in seconds. Something snatched at his shoulder. He'd been hit. Those fucking bastards. Another gap. Far too small. Unless... No that would never work. Things like that only every happened in movies. Nothing else would work. Jake deliberately swerved into the steep verge. It tilted the car to over 30 degrees. That had to be enough. On two wheels he turned into that gap. The hanging wheel slamming into the side of the other car and bursting on impact. Two slow police officers tumbled over the hood as he fought to bring the car back under control as it landed. That was bad. The portal had drifted past the end of the dock. It was heading out over the sea. Floor it.
Angelique vanished from beside him. What the fuck. Not that she could do anything to help here, but it would have been nice to have the company. One or more of those bullets must have hit something critical. Smoke was pouring from the engine and the car was slowing.
"Hermes mate. If you can turbo boost the car now would be a good time."
"Roger boss. I'm going to give you 110 percent. Then shut down."
"What d..."
The car sped up and hit the end of the harbor. Where it hung seemingly motionless before crashing into the portal. Which then blinked out. The world writhed and juddered violently. Entire blocks of houses disappeared or changed. Half the police officers and most of the cars disappeared as the ferry exploded.