"I’ve felt stumped. This is because I’m getting caught up on maximising rewards and not about being authentic and sharing from my experiences." You are not alone. 
I write because I have the disease of writing, not because of the rewards attached to it. But I related to many of your points because I also feel this new kind of self-consciousness that I am not used to. Basically, I have been writing and creating images/art for many years and receiving limited economic rewards for it. And I certainly never ended up in a parody comic or a video because of my writing. The attention for writing and doing well on Steemit was not a motivating factor for writing on Steemit.  I write and create art because I am not really cut out for anything else. I get bored with most jobs if it includes any sort of routine. Additionally, I cherish my autonomy more than anything else (well, curiosity is right up there too). But I am beginning to feel that my authentic, honest voice, is not something that powerful people enjoy. This is the case inside of all power structures. I feel like a small person, always have.
Today I have been studying behavior modification theory and more specifically how monetary rewards do not actually bring about satisfaction and long-term instrinsic behaviors. Your post illustrates well why writers and artists are motivated from within and generally do not do well when the rewards are extrinsic in nature. 
I think I am motivated by the feeling that "I could lose it all." I exist on the fringes of the world, and I enjoy the beginnings of anything.

It's odd, because a lot of people, if they were in my shoes might do everything in their power to protect their investment. But you see, I never intended to become invested here. It happened as a by-product of me being an insanely driven writer. I am not different from the first day, except now i have a big investment, that was created by others rewarding me. I now experience conflict when I decide to post because of this thought process: What will the whales think of my post if I decide to tell the truth about things as I truly see them?
I never had that conflict in the beginning, and I see that I must just continue to write in the way i have always done: with total abandon. Doing otherwise will result in sub-par results that will not do anyone any good. Write for thyself! You are correct.