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I just moved this last weekend which was stressful enough in and of itself. In the process I came across the flask set pictured below which was a stark reminder of my best friend being suddenly killed in a car accident about ten years ago. This was going to be a gift to members of his wedding party, which tragically never happened, but was given to me by his fiancee after his untimely passing.<br>
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Some years back I got the call that my best friend, who I'd known since my freshman year in high school, had been killed in a car accident. A couple years prior to this he had moved to another city, meaning I didn't see him everyday like I had, which I think contributed to the news not sinking in right away. Logically I understood what had happened but emotionally I didn't really feel it until seeing him a few days later at the funeral, laying in the open casket. This is when I broke down, the strongest dam unable to hold back the tears, feeling the massive impact of acceptance that he was really dead.

Ray had always been that type of person to push boundaries, read people by their reactions to shock value and do rather outrageous things in our younger years. He's the one who would end up on the roof while tripping howling at the moon, leap across huge distances honestly seeming to believe that he was 'The Crow,' his visit to a Mexican Donkey Club (yes, it really exists) or other things that most of us just tell the crazy stories about. It never crossed my mind that he would have died by something as mundane as a car accident. 

By this point in his life he had become a truck driver, getting to cross visiting all 48 continental states, had evolved into driving more local (neighboring states) routes where he was able to be back home with his fiancee nearly everyday. This one fateful night, he dropped off his truck, hopped into his pickup and headed down the highway to his home when a driver on the other side of the highway fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the grass median, and hit Ray head on killing him instantly. At least that's what I tell myself rather than imagining him in excruciating pain.

I remember in the process of his death sinking in seeing two distinct lines of thought. These were split between the effects on me and those thoughts towards him and his loved ones. While I didn't view one of these being more important than the others, they were just different with one being more 'selfish' and the other being more outward and empathetic.

The more 'selfish' thoughts included things like how I'd never talk with him again, hang out again, appreciating all the benefits I've gotten from having him in my life (we both taught each other quite a bit over the years) and how when I visited town he was my 'social keystone' of sorts. Even though I felt bad looking at the more 'me' oriented sides of things, I did find that these were the ones that made me cry and feel the loss over since they impacted me directly.

The more external from me thoughts included things like hoping he didn't feel severe pain in the crash and his remaining family losing their baby brother or favorite uncle. The worst part of it all was that he was engaged to be married to his fiancee in less than two months. I have no doubt she was absolutely crushed in the moment and the massive weight by being surrounded with all the memories in their home and the town itself. While she never said anything to me, I could somewhat tell that when I was around after the fact that I stirred more of this up for her. After a little time she understandably moved to a new city so remove some of the daily reminders of her painful experience. I still felt bad about the impact his death had on others, it just didn't make me breakdown into an emotional mess like the others. The empathetic line of thought just led me to hoping others had minimal pain (being Ray) and that others were able to get through this loss.

I still miss him to this day, but as time has gone on it's impacted me a bit less. I find myself thinking how he would view certain things or what sort of ways he would induce 'shock value' out of somebody to get a better read on their character. We really do let down a lot of our 'facades' when put in completely unthinkable situations like having your socks set on fire, being chased with a slingshot loaded with a marble or being told about the crazy things people do with animals. There will never be anybody quite like him and I'd not have become who I am today without having him in my life. 


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<center>http://i.imgur.com/Xs4cJOi.png</center>
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Image Sources:
[Impossible to Forget Quote](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/546554104748583218/)
4 Piece Flask Set - Taken from my phone