Thank you! 
I've always been an all or nothing type of person and once I got over the initial hump of getting comfortable, I just laid it all on the table. I hope this proves useful to the community as a whole.

I really appreciate the friendships that have spawned here in the last month, yourself included!

This btw was my 500th post! You should win something! :P

I agree with @kryptik  I had no idea you were transgender. It didn't matter I consider you a good friend of mine :)

Yea, I don't really talk about being trans that much since I focus on my intellectual passions. Truly once you connect with a person, it goes deeper than the physical body itself. Look at all of the friendships made on here, world of warcraft, etc. All of which are real, and gender is assumed, but in reality the two physical people never actually are around each other. 

It's only a big thing because people make it a big thing, like with the HB2 bill in North Carolina that undid and preventing any further anti-discrimination laws in the state. This was done in response to the city of Charlotte passing a law that would protect the human and civil rights of the LGBT community. It's really strange hearing that an anti-anti-discrimination bill is passed, but it happened. This unfortunately has just been the latest and most covered scenario, but similar occurred in Indiana (driven by now VP candidate Mike Pence), Arkansas (in response to Fayetteville passing an LGBT anti-discrimination law), and even here in the city I live in had passed similar LGBT protection laws only to have it repealed about 6 months later by a razor thin vote. I actually made a post describing what happened here in [this post](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@sykochica/introduction-and-plea-from-a-midwest-transwoman) a few weeks back. 

Luckily things here aren't like the damage HB2 has caused people, businesses and public organizations for North Carolina. But I won't travel down that rabbit hole. lol

To answer you very fair question telling people that knew be before:

It was by far the hardest to tell the first people that I felt I was transgender. At this stage I was logically ONLY telling people that had known the 'old me' since that had been the only thing I had presented to anybody at that stage. Part of the difficulty was that there was no organic way for this conversation to start (being before transgender celebrities like Laverne Cox and issues started to be included in the main stream media.) It always had to start with a "So.... There's something I wanted to tell you..." statement, that are never comfortable. Honestly at this stage, the difficulty to tell somebody stayed the same while the DRIVE to tell someone constantly increased. Basically it was going to come out sooner or later.

While I did get a lot more comfortable presenting and interacting the way I wanted to rather quickly (it helps when there is only supportive people) I did notice that I had a harder time saying anything to people I had known since childhood...it was easier for me to talk to a new friend/stranger...specifically because of the reason you mentioned. 

It's hard to shift the mental model we make for others, especially after being ingrained for so many years. To some degree the same holds in pronoun usage. I can understand why my dad slips a 'he' periodically. He's not being mean, I have no doubt he's trying, it's a tough thing to be 100% on after switching.

I assume the same reasoning holds with asking to be called a new name by people that knew you by another name for so long. I had it easy on this one since I didn't change my name.

Wonderful question, sorry for the long answer :)

Absolutely!

Thank you! While I usually write about completely different topics, this seemed like something that could be useful. Now onto some answers! :)

>What was your childhood like in terms of interests, friends, and family?

I had a pretty 'normal' and comfortable childhood. At the time I didn't think anything of it, but until about 5 or 6 years old I wore my emotions on my sleeve. Unfiltered is a good way to put it. In 1st grade, after getting picked on, crying, which led to more getting picked on...I essentially developed the defense mechanism/strategy to not 'show emotions.' 

This isn't to mean I didn't enjoy the good times, laugh and play, but anything that 'showed weakness' or basically giving others the response they wanted to continue the pattern. (i.e. Pick on me, get me to cry, so they felt better, making them want to pick on me again.)

While I remember hanging out mostly with the girls in kindergarden, around that 1st grade time period I instead mostly hung out with boys. I had some good close friends, so this is not a complaint, but I know I avoided things that for me, at the time, I perceived as feminine/weak (can't blame a 6 year old) which could cause me to be picked on. A lot of my time until my 20's revolved around just blending in, not getting bothered or picked on, and just being ok. There is no denying that I had a HUGE wall of things I wouldn't talk about and steer conversations away from. I got a lot more in depth in my introduction post titled [My Transgender Journey.](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@sykochica/my-transgender-journey)

My interest were really somewhat gender neutral. I played a lot of card, board, computer, and video games as a kid. I was ok at most sports, except golf, and was actually on the wrestling team for a few years in high school. My family has always been great to me, but I'll admit that I limited how close I got to them and others, which takes time to change and I'm improving on. 

>At what age did you realize you identified with being female rather than male?

While I can only say this in retrospect, I remember that 'something' felt off around the age of 5-6, which is when I started school. This was in the early 80's, the gay awareness campaign had just begun, and transgender wasn't a concept I could even fathom at the time. Prior to the internet, my closest thing to an anonymous search while lacking all 'keywords' was to ask the old Librarian about things I had no way to articulate. 

>Or was it not a sudden realization at a young age but a gradual transformation?

From my own experience, it was something that had always seemed to be there. It just took a while for me to first figure out what it was, next how to do it, and finally if I had the courage to go through with it knowing the various hardships it could incur. 

Wonderful questions! Please let me know if I missed anything.

My Introduction Post: [My Transgender Journey](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@sykochica/my-transgender-journey)

I understand, it's not something we're presented with often. 
Glad that it was informative! That's a win in my book. 
And no worries on questions, this is now on the blockchain. Lol

@wiser I promise you have NEVER crossed paths with anyone like @sykochica.  They don't make them like her.  Hell she had to make herself.

sychochica is well.. brilliant!!!!

There is a split between the social, physical, emotional and sexual portions of a persons transition (or journey.) While I can not speak for every transperson, the social transition was by far the most important for me. There is a rarely noticed feedback look of 'I present female' --> 'I'm treated female' --> I feel validated and continue presenting female. 

While I know of many transpeople that would love to have the surgeries, most haven't and might never be able to. This can be due to wealth, health or insurance issues. Sometimes health and age prevent a transperson from being able to take hormones, yet still find greatly enhanced satisfaction just from the social transition. The SRS surgeries (like a lot of pharmaceuticals) also tend to be much more expensive in the US, partly due to there not being many domestic places that performed them, on top of many insurance companies not covering them. A vast majority of the SRS surgeries have been performed in Thailand (a second world country) for a long time, where it is cheaper and more socially acceptable. 

My point out of all of this is that the privilege of wealth and access doesn't really apply to a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country but to the transgender community as a whole (who also have a much lower socio-economic status on average, kicked out of their homes at an early age, can be fired or kicked out of an apartment or rental with no recourse.) The entire community world wide is under-served as a whole (outside of Caitlyn Jenner) and there really isn't a privilege disparity between transgender people. The 'privilege' is a rarity in out community unfortunately. 

The other point here is to look at social acceptance of the trans community to exist. It's more common for transpeople to be treated as an equal 1st and some 2nd world countries. But most 3rd world countries are very conservative and tend to shun or worse those that 'come out' as transgender.

Surgeries, while maybe preferred for some, aren't what make a transperson transgender. It's that inner feeling of how they would like to be treated (as male or female) and reciprocated by society that creates the feedback loop of gender that is more than sufficient for most.

I think I answered your question in all that. Lol

I know! CRAAZZY!! 
Lol

While I know many argue over whether feelings of being gay or transgender are 'embedded' from the start or 'learned/chosen' from my own experience I subscribe to the former. At first this translated as a feeling of 'being off' when socializing (friends, family, etc.) and later molded into a much clearer picture as I learned of the concepts of transgender. This was the first time I felt that internal reaction of YES, that's it!

To respond to the first part of your question:
>You say "the gender you present" is part of a feedback loop. But if I shaved, wore a dress, put on makeup. Hell even if I went full out and "replaced the plumbing" as it were, I still could not hold the new identity beyond the one I was born with.

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/sound/imgsou/int5.gif
First we have to assume that that these transgender feelings are embedded from the start of a human. Now think of these feminine feelings as a periodic wave. When I came in contact with society which treated me as male, I was presented with a 180 degree phase shifted periodic wave, that cancels out (destructive interference) my wave. This is what generates my feelings of being off. When I socially transitioned and was then treated as female by society, instead the wave grew (constructive interference), which for me felt correct.

My point is that for you, the destructive/constructive effects would be reversed. You would feel correct by being male and perceived as male, which would only feel off if were you to present as a woman. The thing to cross is purely dealing with the fear of negative reactions from society. I've been lucky to have a fully supportive family (even though discussions for understanding have been necessary,) friends and little to no social backlash. Many others are not this lucky.

>How do you interact with cis-women? How do cis-women react to you? 

I don't feel that I've changed much as a in 'essence' since I've transitioned (outside sharing more.) The female friends I had before, while getting a little closer, remained a similar relationship as before. I will admit that there were a few additional topics, like clothes, facials, etc... were added, but these were minor in the full scope. 

Most women react/treat me as if I'm just another woman. It helps me by being relatively passable, which has it's own rabbit hole of discussion. I am also always aware of how others 'could' perceive me, and can usually avoid or prevent potential issues. 

>How do you deal with it when they react badly?

I've not had any bad reactions luckily. The closest has been a friend from high school that I could tell was torn with what he'd always thought and accepting that I'd transitioned. He didn't say or do anything mean or wrong, but I could tell.

Outside of this is a period online troll or a real life person realize I'm transgender from some queue or another and give me the 'eye' or a scoff. But these really just bounce off of me and go on, they're going to feel the way they feel regardless of me.

Absolutely no worries! Those are more than fair questions and not personal at all.
**[I'm copy/pasting from a reply I did while you were writing this. So feel free to ask for clarification. I wanted to try and reply before I went to sleep.]**

>How does it work? I mean, did you always feel like a female psychologically speaking, and doing the physical transformation just helped the essence of your real gender show? Or is it more just the physicality of the gender that you felt more in line with? What exactly motivates the physical transformation, if you can explain for those of us who have no point of reference, unfortunately.

While I know many argue over whether feelings of being gay or transgender are 'embedded' from the start or 'learned/chosen,' from my own experience I subscribe to the former. At first this translated as a feeling of 'being off' when socializing (friends, family, etc.) and later molded into a much clearer picture as I learned of the concepts of transgender. This was the first time I felt that internal reaction of YES, that's it!

In essence these feelings were already there and felt correct once I had transitioned.

>If there is no "gay" or "straight" and sexual orientation is irrelevant, does that mean sexuality is irrelevant too? Are you saying that being transgender has less to do with sex and sexual attraction, and more to do with who you line up with as a gender? 

Gay/straight and transgender/cisgender dimensions, while independent from each other aren't irrelevant, just not coupled. For example, I am a transgender woman. Do you think I like men or women? What if it was the other way around for a transgender man? Do you think he likes men or women? 

While you may have a guess, there is really no way for you to know. I could like men, women, be bisexual, asexual, or pansexual, and so could the transman. This is what I meant by independent dimensions, the large list of sexual orientation choices are available to a transman, transwoman, androgynous or non-binary/gender-fluid person. I would still say the sexual orientation (or at least finding a partner or more) is important for most if not all transgender people. I don't think the word irrelevant is correct.

>What does "gender" mean? And again, is the physical transformation more a manifestation of the gender you feel, or is the physical aspect a big part of what it means to be a woman?

Honestly, in my mind, I see gender as a social construct that has been embedded deeply in all humans. Look at how many he/she pronouns are used everyday. Languages like french, spanish and italian even have a gender assigned to inanimate objects. Now I admit that there are differing average preferences and pre-dispositions between Men and Women. Hormones alone are a very powerful thing that change things. There are other 'processes' that are required for one biological sex or the other that shape certain behaviors. (i.e. Teen woman not necessarily wanting to get pregnant while many teen males usually haven't thought much on it since they don't get pregnant themselves. 

Personally I believe that all people have a preference towards either;
being 'aggressive/physical' based (which we associate with male)
or 'compassion/emotional' based (which we associate with female)

Because of this, I define somebody with this 'essence' of feminine a woman regardless of their physical body. However an important thing to note here is just because I define somebody by their essence alone does NOT mean society does. Even I don't expect people to be comfortable when someone that is clearly presenting as a male into the women's bathroom. (However there really aren't any incidents of transpeople trying to use the restroom while NOT at least attempting to present accordingly.)

>How does this kind of transformation work in a society that seems to be leaning toward gender neutral? Do you prefer to see more traditional differences that make a more clear distinction between the two genders so you can enjoy that transformation more fully? Does gender neutrality, irrelevance in sexual orientation, and the ability to change genders make you feel like the male and female body are truly irrelevant? And doesn't it seem an irony at all?

Personally I interpret what I see others viewing as a trend to gender neutrality, instead as acceptance of the full spectrum. Put another way there is no black and white but only infinite shades of grey. Many people have a hard time because it's not as easy as the applying the binary (male/female) because it requires us to individually meet and model a person before applying male or female, which is a lot more work.

I think that the importance is in the shades of grey instead of male/female. I think that as time goes on people will have an easier time finding their own, best shade of grey and society will get better at acknowledging that placement on the gender spectrum is just as much a person right as life, liberty or property. Let the girly girl be girly, and let the manly girl be manly, and let the whatever be whatever. 

Since I think of gender being a part of my essence (or soul) rather than a body thing, I have a hard time discounting this part as irrelevant. I think this is more an issue of passing along these types of options to generations to come, and allow them to find what works best for them while at the same time need society to be open to this. (i.e. teen transgender girl Jazz Jennings gets death threats, wtf!)

Please let me know if I didn't answer something or would like clarification. I'm about to fall asleep but wanted to answer you questions.

I can't remember the last time I've heard anything by her. But I can say I've rocked out to Led Zeppelin! :P

I love this, but I'm about to fall over tired. I promise I will get back to this tomorrow.
Ty @Jedau!

Thank you! While I don't try to hide being trans, it's not something that comes up into to conversation much for me. I find that my primary passions fall in other areas. But now some answers! :)

>...when did you find out about your true orientation and when did you embrace it (if you don't mind me asking)?

I had feelings that something was 'off' as early as age 5-6, which was (I believe) due to starting school. This is the first time that a norm outside the family was experienced. While I didn't understand what it WAS as the time, I could tell what things didn't fit. This was in the early 80's and the gay awareness campaign was in its infancy. While being exposed to the concept of gay, it didn't feel like it fit for me.

In my early 20's I first started finding concepts of gender change on the internet, some fiction some non-fiction. While I'll admit seeing transgender people (usually in poor light) on main stream media such as Jerry Springer, I didn't find this very helpful. It was all about the internet and felt a huge weight lifting as I started to find there were others like me out there in the ether. Right about the age of 30 is when the split between what I presented and wanted to present started passing my 'comfort' threshold and told my first person about this. A month or two later is when I told my parents and sister.

>I feel sad when I discover that there are a lot of closeted individuals who can't embrace their true nature out of fear of persecution, social repercussions or religion. 

This is so true. I've been very lucky coming from a reformed Jewish background, which tends to be extremely LGBT accepting. Another benefit was that I don't have a 'fundamental' wing of the family, every single one of my family members have been supported (even though conversations so that could understand better were necessary and completely understandable.) My biggest fear was dealing with society. At the time transgender was usually presented as a comedic skit or whatever that was on the Jerry Springer show, again not very helpful. In fact my perception for a long was more attuned to the negative depictions like these as well as the horrible violence or murder towards transpeople stories. While awareness wise we now have a much more positive showing in the media like [Laverne Cox](http://www.lavernecox.com/) or [Kristen Beck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristin_Beck).

>Everyone should be free to embrace who they truly are, and I'm glad that you have fully embraced your true self :D

I completely agree and I believe a large part of the American population would to. The others will either have a revelation, die off, or be dragged kicking and screaming about their "Religious Freedom Bills."

Wonderful Question! :)

Happy to share! :)

>I have found out that adjusting your voice can be difficult. Is this something that you struggle with?

This is very very true! For female to male transpeople the voice change isn't always as much of an issue. For many after taking testosterone for a period their vocal cords actually thicken and deepen much like a boy going through puberty. For some though, the voice doesn't drop as much as they want.

For male to female transpeople this can be a little tougher. The vocal cords have already 'thickened' and short of surgery (which I'm personally not a fan of) the raising of the voice is achieved through practice. Female hormones don't have much if any effect on a transwoman's voice. There are lot of free and pay for resources out there like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2YLypHqvJU), even an [app](http://exceptionalvoiceapp.com/) on voice training. I managed to find a few tips and run with them. 
I've done voice impressions for a long time, so it helped having the ability to notice and control certain 'noise effects' of my speech. I used singing as a fun and helpful practice tool that got me more comfortable in higher scales without having a 'grumble' as I call it. Working in a call center for year or so also was great practice, especially having a gender neutral name like Corey. Callers determined my gender solely by my voice, inflection, and vocabulary. 

I've gotten way more comfortable with my voice over the years and It's also fallen 'naturally' into a more feminine sound nowadays. But I do have days (especially with sick) where I struggle, or when I'm tired and just don't care. :P

Great Question!

Thank you!

>I have some experience with transgender people because a friend of mine from the past transitioned from a man to being a woman. This was confusing for me for sure because I was relating to her as a woman and I just thought she liked men. But it turned out that she liked women, and I began to feel uncomfortable. I believe she had a crush on me. This was not really welcome because I am a straight woman. I am not attracted to women at all.......I think this was potentially the most confusing experience I've ever had. I began to distance myself from her because I was not interested at all in a romantic relationship.

This can be a confusing time for all parties involved. There are parts of our language and labeling system that break down here, making things very difficult. While I can't speak for the transwoman you knew, I might be able to relate. 

Before I had started down the transition path, I would dress as female and go to certain friends homes to hang out. One of these friends was a girl who identified as a lesbian. Now I will freely admit that while still feeling lust periodically towards people, the ones I was interested in were those who I honestly felt a connection with (pansexuality.) This connection was built up stronger with her over this period by just being able to hangout, talk, or play games while I presented as female, and reaching the point that I felt I 'liked' her. Eventually I told her about this and while for me a simple 'I don't feel that way about you' would have been more than sufficient and I would have left it there, she was the type of person that couldn't give 'bad news' and basically danced around the issue.

A couple of points here. First, there is a tendency for people to not give 'bad news' because they don't want to hurt somebody else's feelings (which is understandable) however communication breaks down very quickly because of this. The 'nice' answers didn't give any true information (like I don't want to be with anyone right now, maybe later) and over time come in conflict with observed behavior (she dated somebody, which was fine, but that countered the statement of not being with anybody right now.) When we are truly connected and care about somebody, while hard, the best thing is to be honest. 

Second point here is that in my head, I was beginning to consider myself as female, which meant being with another girl would equate to a lesbian relationship. While logical, this didn't necessarily translate into how my lesbian friend 'felt' about it. Honestly, I don't think that she had any sort of ill will towards me, but I don't think she would have considered the two of us being together as a lesbian relationship. This is not meant to bash her in any way, it's merely a case of our 'shared' language completely breaking down. A explicit conversation is necessary to define each individuals take on what being gay or straight is when a transgender person is thrown in the mix. So much of this is personal feelings and perceptions. 

Now specifically on your experience. I can understand the uncomfortableness of feeling of the transwoman had a crush on you. Honestly I think this same feeling occurs when anybody of any gender appears to have intimate interest that is not reciprocated. It basically creates an 'Elephant in the Room' situation where everyone knows it's there, but it's not talked about. While I'm not saying anybody was in the 'wrong,' because we just feel what we feel on matter like this, I recommend at least trying to discuss the issue with her. I don't know if she is like me and really is ok with a 'I don't feel that way about you' answer. This conversation also tends to lead into both parties defining their stance on personal preferences and views, which I feel are necessary. For me that gives me understanding and closure, even if not the answer I was hoping for. No relationship can last for long when always 'walking on egg shells.'

>I feel that I am on a spectrum of being female that does not identify with the traits that society holds as being female. I am a very strong person in many ways, and I find myself quite at home among males. I have worked in male-dominated spaces, and even though I dislike them for the most part, I can generally hold my own, and I don't feel threatened by men.

This hits the nail on the head as far as part of the issue. I view gender as a feedback loop between my 'essence/homunculus' which feels feminine and the way society treats me. When the to match, positive reinforcement occurs, when the don't, negative reinforcement. I truly think that if I were not to come in contact with people, the concept of gender is moot beyond 'I am what I am.'

Society has depended on the gender binary for long time, even so far as embedding itself deeply in language. Many don't even have the concept, let alone the words, for dealing the the infinite shades of grey between black and white. I see this as a problem ALL people have to deal with on some level, since we are all some shade of grey. They key here is to shuck the labels, as you have done, and find what works for each of us individually. 

While people talk about the difference between men and women, it's often forgotten that while looking at averages, these differences can be true, the variance of each group in reality have a huge overlap. For example:
https://perrystreetpalace.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/usmenandwomenheight.png

In this height chart, we can see that men are on average taller than women. And statistically speaking this is true. However we also see the huge variance that easily allows many women to be taller than men. This sort of scenario is common and often overlooked across the board. There may be tendencies, probabilities and averages, but in reality every situation boils down ONLY to the individual in question. All too often it's assumed a woman is or should be yada yada yada and a man is or should be yada yada yada. We'll be in a much better place when society as a whole recognizes the huge scale of individual possibilities and do away with such assumptions. Unfortunately, people like things that are nicely packaged, easy to deal with, that don't cause them to actually think about and analyze the model they are creating for another person.

>So, this translates into me not identifying with the female sex object role model, and it also results in me not wanting to draw attention to myself. I'm not gay by any stretch of the imagination, even though, there have been times I wished I was because of the grave fear of pregnancy. Many lesbians have confused me for being gay because I generally don't wear makeup and I don't wear fussy clothes. I dress kind of in a gender neutral way. I do, however, like to play dress up and sort of play around with female personalities. I like being dramatic and creative in making up female characters.

Biology plays a strange roll in all of this, which I view as coupled yet distinct from a persons essence. While I understand the  'lustful' drives of men, I feel women are often viewed purely in the biological sense sometimes. I don't think most men truly understand what it's like to have the stares, the looks, the pick up lines, or the creepy stalker. I don't mean to speak badly of men here, most truly seem to try and understand, but unless you are in it day after day, the true impact is lost.

The other part of this is that talking about sex or gender in general is really a taboo in American culture, which I find ironic because we are inundated with Sex Sells advertising constantly. There seems to be a social pressure to feel bad when not fitting into a nice category (which in essence doesn't exist with everyone being on the spectrum versus the extremes) which also inhibits conversation on the issue. Nobody can tell me how I FEEL, and I can't tell others how they FEEL. The ability to self reflect and then communicate ones own sexual orientation and gender identity is crucial in my mind. To me this doesn't change the essence of the matter, but rather acceptance and opening of communication. I truly hope to see society begin to shift away from thinking and speaking only in binary.

>For all these reasons, I feel kind of odd, like a true eccentric. I don't have a strong one-dimensional way I present myself. It's like I have a private identity that is creative and feminine, but I don't want to show it to the world...

When people first meet me and are looking for good description labels, I like to always start with 'I'm complicated.' Who and am and what I think can't fit onto a bumper sticker.

I truly believe every person lies in a unique area on the multi-dimensional scale of personality, preference and pre-disposition. This is something that any body (in my mind) HAS to have some concept of, even if subconsciously, to truly feel happy. 

I honestly think that everybody has what I term 'actual self' and a 'social self.' The actual self is just what you would think, completely free, sing while nobody is listening sort of [Flow state.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)) The social self however is more difficult, there are things we self censor for good reason (for example not using curse words around kids) and those we feel are externally imposed, typically not in accordance with the social self. I can understand the 'private identity that is creative and feminine, but I don't want to show it to the world.' I see this as a defense mechanism of sorts, like deciding (subconsciously) to not show certain emotions after getting picked on. Often the goal when deal with the public isn't to connect or grow, but rather to be left alone. This is a sad fact in my opinion that I truly hope to see change over the coming years. 

I do still think that in an ideal world there will still be a private, non-public self. For example I don't like to practice new things on my drum in public, instead prefer to show off the things I've already 'mastered,' which I'd expect is common across many others.

>And my sexuality has caused a lot of issues too. I am a straight woman, but I have some problems with intimacy. For many years, I sort of viewed my sexuality with disdain, I had a lot of guilt. It is for these reasons I feel that gay men are drawn to me, because in many ways our struggles are the same. Many gay men feel comfortable being themselves around me because of our shared difficulties in dealing with the male sexual relationship....

Some of this I touched on in the previous section of this reply. However, I will say that I feel the guilt is an effect of social pressure, framing and priming us. For example, imagine a woman walking around Missouri while topless...oh the stares, the lust, the disdain...soo many sensitized emotional reactions, because it's not something we think of ofter nor socially acceptable (regardless of right or wrong.) Now imagine a (non-white/cultural norm color) woman being topless among the Dogon tribe in africa, where it's the norm for women to be topless. The men don't lust constantly for them and nobody thinks anything of her breasts being exposed. 

My point here is that we a shown concepts of 'normal' and what is socially acceptable through parents and media, later being tested and refined more in school and non-family socialization. These concepts of what are acceptable or not are framed early on and primed as we go along, usually leading to feeling of shame when we feel we don't fit. This unfortunately only leads to 'society' being reinforced in it's normality, which really is just a show that causes us to become separated from each other. Don't we really judge people by who they are in essence and not the facade we present to society or Facebook?

To touch on the last part here on feeling comfortable with gay men. I think you are spot on that you are able to connect with gay men through shared experiences. That is really what any relationship, group or family are founded upon in my opinion. They understand what it's like to date men, I'd assume know where they fall on sexuality and identity spectrums, etc... that help for form that core connection. I also suspect that part of this being easier for both you and them is that the feeling of sexual attraction is completely removed. The walking on egg shell scenario commonly occurs due to questions of 'do they like me?'

I think I answered everything. Just let me know if I missed anything or would like clarification.

Great reply, questions @stellabelle! :)

Feel free to ask whatever! That is exactly why I posted this, the open opportunity. 
While I still hold the right to answer with, "I'm not comfortable answering that or too personal," I'm yet to actually use that. 

And thank you! While it's been somewhat exhausting since I try to be thorough with my answers and not just copy and paste, it's been extremely gratifying. 

I very much with you hoping this can be very useful to others! :)

I absolutely 100% totally agree on this!

The only way things are going to improve is for those on both sides to HAVE THE DISCUSSION! We are all people and should respect each other as people. While I can understand the point of LGBT people who have a long history of honestly being offended, we can not allow this to jade our view of everybody. 

In my opinion the start of everything human needs to start with the keystones of "Don't be an asshole" and "Look first for the goodness in others."

We are all on this spaceship called earth together!

Well said @andrew0!

I can really appreciate this. I really don't bring up being transgender very often, pretty much for the same reason. How I define myself as a person and my passions lay in other areas, like the ones you mentioned. And this is important, purely focusing on the transition or being transgender in reality play a smaller role for me. The counter seems to be just as true, being more than a cis-gender person. I completely agree with you sentiment that the value is in people themselves, not a small characteristic.

Since I have the stance that the feelings that led me to transition were there from the beginning, it merely took me a long time to figure them out and decide what to do about them, I don't really have anything to urge against this path in the general sense. For me this was something that I feel would have happened sooner or later. If I hadn't I truly believe that I would at best unhappy, at worst I'd have psychologically broken from feeling isolated and alone.

With that said, there are health concerns with hormones. Potentially increased chances of blood clots being the big one I watch for, which includes some awareness of high potassium foods. I luckily don't have much else on my radar. I'm not much of a medical person, so I just watch what I need, but not much expertise outside of that. 

One thing I will recommend is to work with a doctor who can monitor blood work regularly. Personally, I'm not comfortable with the DIY approach both because of blood work monitoring and me not fully knowing what are in, or potential problems, with internet bought medications. I'm more comfortable deferring this judgement to my doctor.

One last thing on the medical side...talk to a counselor/psychologist/therapist. I can't speak for everyone, but I found this invaluable. I needed this time to talk through how I felt, read materials I'd not heard of, and talk with other transgender people in a support group so that I was sure that I both wanted and felt I was strong enough to transition. 

As far as other struggles, nah. I like to think I became a very emotionally and intellectually strong prior to even telling my first person. My biggest issue was dealing with ingrained behaviors from having a giant wall/defense mechanism put up for so long. Three quarters of my life I didn't talk about and steered conversations away from any topic that might have led to me talking about how I felt about being what I now call transgender.

I've been very lucky with a supportive family, accepting friends and when I actually go to a religious function (like a wedding) there being an inclusive congregation.