This is not a lights out kind of story but rather an enfoldment kind of thing...
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I’m five eights out of my mind these days but not shouting up chimneys anymore, which is good, nor grinning into the frog tins. Yes, I am but dust on the sword's dream where I rust forever; and accepting it all that I can, oh yes.
And I’m closer to midnight than I’ve ever been before and counting up my spare change and obliquely eyeing up the maid who’s eyeing up me and quantum computing her price.
Maybe I was way ahead of the game, or maybe I was a listless idiot, but whatever, I just had to go for it. So I whistled so that she turned her head even more to see the idiot who was whistling at her with an: I’ve been there and got the t shirt and shot the fucker through the heart any questions kind of face shooting me a glance.
Well, social fictions aside, I began buttering my toast on both sides to give this its best shot at redemption or something; I wasn’t going to judge; and buttering away I gave her a second glance from out of my seeing.
Reality is at its best when it’s acknowledged in the moment, just as midnight is the enfoldment closer of the opportune who beg with their bowls thrust out before them.
Her perfume made me growl and made me think I was a prowler in the wind of her hair flowing over me as I moved in for the kiss.
If you carry on like this then midnight’s sister will be here too and going for it until all you can do is groan; and groaning pass out into eternity said the idiot story going nowhere, and, talking to itself and talking away it went around and around, like an Egyptian heiress out on the town.
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Are you drunk asked the wife, popping her head in through the door?
No, I said, not that I’ve noticed.
Well, let me know when you are, she said, and closed the door on where I was and left me there thinking all sorts of things.
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Who is this ghoulish mistress that goes to eighty point nine on the Rictus scale with tomatoes in glut said the advert.
I was tired of adverts and mind readers and zip this into the next oasis you come across. I was tired of so many things.
So I said shut up to all of it. Mistress midnight will soon enfold me until I can belong again. She comes for me. I just know it.
How close are you, to midnight, said my doom?
Probably closer than you I replied, and tuned up to midnight and gave a gurgle and swam all around it; and was so close I could of gone blind for all that I saw, so I swam around some more.
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A time honoured monk with the mind of a guru was giving me directions out on the side of all I could explain and pumping up the pill price at the same time until I was all pumped dry and screaming and crying, and doomed, doomed.
So there I was doing all that when the time honoured monk with the mind of a guru gave me a slap around the head and said: get on with it.
I was a groupie sandwich.
I was shaken dry.
I was love gutters mad.
Just love me she said, and pushed me away to love her some more from where she would have me until I was ready to touch and fry.
Two strong winds into the evolutionary by-products later and I was making my wish list on the back benches where I was hung out to dry with only the memory of my memories to keep me company.
The girl had gone, and just left me there, without even a comfort grain of sand to be my friend.
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So I cut into the stolen idea of my imperfect with the scent of her still lingering in my mind and called out something that flew away and didn’t come back again.
And as I waited for it to come back again the time honoured monk with the mind of a guru came and sat down with me.
And pulling up his feet he became silent.
Swimming lessons are cancelled for the rest of the day so you may as well go home, said the secret to slavery standing not that far away from me in the shadows and giving me the evil eye from the darkness.
This was a little bit disconcerting so I ordered a table full of knives just in case of blowback.
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I’m blade-full and imperfect most of the time, I know, but sometimes I just can’t find my mind anymore. I know it’s around somewhere, but where, I just don’t know.
So, in this mindless state I found that all this was coming at me from underneath the moonbeams at midnight and penetrating me while flies were buzzing around and around my head with nothing better to do.
Maybe I was coming down with something, or maybe I was just dreaming, but I distinctly remember waking up a while back, but how I got to here I just can’t recall.
An open heart beside the road of life, with a satchel and an umbrella for company, and living in dreams, arrived suddenly from out of nowhere, as if walking through a door, and became self aware under advisory conditions that were desultory at best but were nevertheless what they were force walking towards from out of where they’d been, and rabbit holes aside, this was so most of the time as if it was sand for the debt collector to stir about.
I’ve walked through all the gloom and doom of the world and scratched my head all the way, but there are some things I will never figure out, no matter how many doors I walk through, and there are some things I will figure out when I do.
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I like to be a servant, I really do; sometimes I’m really ecstatic about it. But mostly it’s making me hungry and feeling like strawberry marmalade that’s never going home ever again and doing shuff, shuff everywhere in the life until there’s nothing left to believe in.
Oh, I was dreaming strong in my unwanted moments that were dreaming me as I was seeing them coming at me to be dreamed.
I would spell something to write more than this to believe in to receive what I would find in my perceiving to take me through it all and bring me good luck. I surely would.
And not like some kind of ghoul in the global touchdown in the sweet paradigm shift that comes to all of us one day no matter what we are or wherever we may be at the time, oh no.
Oh I’m five tenths in love most of the time, but the rest of the time I find myself wrestling things any way I can wrestle them to be what I would have them be.
As I let go it was as if I was walking through a door. And coming out the other side to where things were different
The puny edge of a wormhole opened up in front of me and sucked me away, and then closed up afterwards.
Nothing more can be said about this, so we shall move on now…
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I guess the Jack of all trades thingy of this is to watch out for the ghoulish mistress at midnight...
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