<center>https://thewanderingvegetable.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/sexual-harassment.jpg</center> <br/>India has been going through a wave. No, a TORNADO actually. And it's called the <a href="https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/one-year-of-metoo-movement-8-interesting-things-to-know-1368727-2018-10-16"><strong>#MeToo movement</strong></a>. Women from all walks of life are sharing their stories of sexual harassment.

Characters of the most <em>powerful men</em> in influential positions (of their respective fields) are coming under the scanner. Heroes are <em>falling</em> and people are waking up to the fact that women have been suffering from sexual harassment since a long time.

The movement has gained traction online and many women are sharing their stories and coming out with the names of their perpetrators on social media. The complaints have majorly been from women working in <strong>Bollywood</strong> (Hindi film industry). And as we all know, if something's on social media and it involves Bollywood personalities, then there will be <em>opinions</em> on it. People are expressing their views on the incidents and extending their support to the victims.

However, to my surprise, there's a sizable section of people who are skeptical of the women's complaints. They think it's an attempt for garnering cheap publicity and maligning the image of good people. They're raising <strong>2 major questions</strong> -
<ul>
 <li><em><strong>Why</strong> are these women complaining about sexual harassment after so many years of the "incident happening to them" &amp; <strong>where </strong>is the proof?</em></li>
 <li><em>But the men in question have supported<strong> noble causes</strong> in the society and done a lot of <strong>charity</strong>. They have a <strong>clean image</strong>. So then how can they sexually harass women?</em></li>
</ul>
<strong>Answering these 2 questions and clearing a few myths </strong>is what my post is about.

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<h1>Q1. Why are these women complaining about sexual harassment after so many years of the incident? Where's the proof?</h1>
I'll be answering this in detail so that you know WHY it takes women so long to raise their voice against sexual harassment.
<h2>Struggle</h2>
When a person starts their career especially in the Hindi film industry, it's a struggle. A struggle that involves
<ul>
 <li>Convincing your parents that you want to pursue a career in the unpredictable "big bad world of acting".</li>
 <li>Living alone in Mumbai (the hub of Bollywood) and finding an accomodation to yourself.</li>
 <li>Standing in long lines of auditions and facing rejections day in &amp; day out.</li>
 <li>Hustling on the sidelines to build contacts so that they can refer you to the right people and your good audition doesn't go to waste.</li>
 <li>A feeling of constant pressure when parents and other relatives call to ask you "When are we seeing you in a film?" while friends your age are settling down in stable jobs.</li>
 <li>A feeling of guilt of having to borrow money from parents to survive alone in an expensive city like Mumbai where actors get work "not so regularly".</li>
</ul>
When a woman finally crosses all these hurdles, she's on the cusp of achieving her dream and bagging a big project. But the man in charge of the project (producer/director/financer/casting director) who can make or break this newbie's career has other plans.

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<div class="pull-left"> <img class="wp-image-2844" src="https://thewanderingvegetable.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Army.mil2_.jpg" alt="Sexually harassing women is a power trip for influential people" width="1024" height="680" /><br/> Pic credit @Army.mil</div>

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He decides to use his influence and power to force this woman to compromise and satisfy his sexual needs. Sometimes, he just pounces on her without a warning and the woman is in utter disbelief not knowing what to do.

She had placed her trust in this man to be fair and well-mannered but her faith is betrayed. The man has tried to force himself, grope, kiss, molest, rape and even hit the woman in anger when she hasn't submitted herself. After such a harrowing experience, the woman doesn't know what to do.

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<h2>Mental condition of the victim</h2>
Firstly she is <strong>numb</strong>. She still hasn't registered what has happened. Furthermore the "<em>good image</em>" of the influential person in her head has been shattered. He turned out to be a sexual predator. She's <strong>scared</strong>. <strong>Vulnerable</strong>. <strong>Helpless</strong>. Who does she go to? Where does she complain? The financial clout and authority that her perpetrator enjoys is so much that the lawmakers, the police, the people wouldn't believe her even if she complained because she is a newbie.

It's her word against his. And he's too famous &amp; powerful.

She can't even share it with her parents because then her parents would have reminded her of her career choice and their initial warning. Worse still, on informing them, they might feel <em>helpless</em> as they're not that powerful or well connected to fight a legal battle against the perpetrator. The woman doesn't raise a hue &amp; cry fearing that her career might be <strong>destroyed</strong> by the people in the corridors of power.

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<div class="pull-left"><img class="alignleft wp-image-2842 size-large" src="https://thewanderingvegetable.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/sunyu-431359-unsplash-min-1024x683.jpg" alt="It is very difficult for the women to live with the memory of harassment" width="1024" height="683" /></div><br/>

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So she <em>lives</em> with it. Every second, every day, she lives with it. The incident changes her personality forever. She falls into the clutches of depression as her perpetrator continues to - work on projects &amp; harass many others like her who want to make it big in the industry. That creates a <em>horde</em> of such women who have been assaulted - both mentally &amp; physically.

Meanwhile people keep working with this perpetrator and he keeps minting money. It gives an impression to the women that this is how the industry <em>functions</em> &amp; that nothing can be done against their perpetrator. They go on with their lives and  leave this chapter behind.

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<h2>A Sudden Ray of Hope</h2>
Years pass by and things go on as usual. Suddenly, out of nowhere this one <strong>fearless</strong> voice comes out. A famous woman from <em>within</em> the industry decides to come out with her sexual harassment story on national television. She calls out her perpetrator and narrates things just as they happened.

The women are seeing this. Somebody has actually voiced what <em>they</em> had experienced too. Besides, it's a famous woman who has taken a stand. The women are seeing people lending a ear to her story. News channels are supporting her. People are extending their support online and standing with her <em>against</em> the perpetrator.

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<div class="pull-left"><img class="alignleft wp-image-2846 size-large" src="https://thewanderingvegetable.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/metoo-2859980_1920-1024x683.jpg" alt="One brave woman's voice became a voice of an entire movement #MeToo" width="1024" height="683" /></div><br/>

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The women are taken back to the traumatic memory of the assault. The wounds become fresh again. It's like the doors to the cupboard of grief, despair, helplessness, violation have been opened. The women are now so <strong>overwhelmed</strong> that they know if they don't let it out now and gather the courage to say it as it is, then they'll never be free of this trauma.

The bravery of that one woman has given these women a hope that their stories will find takers too. So they let go of their mental barriers, their buried angst and gather the guts to speak against these men. They let it out. Loud and Clear. <strong>#MeToo</strong>
<ul>
 <li><em><strong>The fear of losing her career - is the reason why she didn't say it then.</strong> </em></li>
 <li><em><strong>The inability of the law &amp; order to support her &amp; give her the confidence of opening up - is why she didn't say it then.</strong></em></li>
 <li><em><strong>The inherent patriarchal mindset of the society - is the reason why she didn't say it then.</strong></em></li>
 <li><strong><em>She was helpless and a struggling nobody who'd be facing the accusation of garnering cheap publicity. This fear of judgement - is the reason why she didn't say it then.</em></strong></li>
</ul>
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<h2>Proof?</h2>
The perpetrator doesn't create a <em>Facebook event</em> called "<strong>Let's play Harassment</strong>" stating the venue and time of harassment. There are no list of invitees to RSVP and witness the event of harassment. The perpetrator plans it out in such a way that the woman is caught <em>unawares</em> and is at her <em>most vulnerable</em> state.

Then <strong>how</strong> does a woman prove if the man groped, molested, tried to kiss, force himself &amp; have sex with her? She didn't have the luxury of knowing the intention of the predator in advance to record a video of the proceedings.

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<div class="pull-left"> <img class="wp-image-2847" src="https://thewanderingvegetable.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Army.mil_-300x199.jpg" alt="How can women prove sexual harassment when they are caught unawares" width="1024" height="680" /><br/> Pic credit @Army.mil</div>

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Therefore, can we stop being <em>insensitive</em> and <em>illogical</em> when a woman is raising her voice? As it is it takes a lot to put your vulnerable self out there and narrate your story. The least we can do is <strong>listen</strong> to her. There is a possibility of a fake claim too, yes. Not being the judge here. All I'm asking is to stop questioning her <em>credibility</em> already by judging the time at which she has narrated her story of harassment.

All I'm asking is the <em>decency</em> as a human to be <strong>empathetic</strong> towards her suffering and give her the<strong> freedom to express</strong> herself. Freedom that she's been craving for a long long time. <a href="https://thewanderingvegetable.com/she-human-stop-harassment/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong>She's a human, so let's treat her like one.</strong></a>

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<h1>Q2. The men in question support<strong> noble causes</strong> in the society and done a lot of <strong>charity</strong>. They have a <strong>clean image</strong>. So then how can they harass women?</h1>
<strong>The activities men do in public do not define their character in private. </strong>Doing charity and supporting noble causes is good but that does <strong>not</strong> give the man a <em>clean chit</em> to escape complaints of sexual harassment against him.

Most of the time, such public acts are nothing but "<strong>image improving PR strategies</strong>" to hide their misdeeds in real life. A man could be supporting girl child education in front of the media houses and molesting young girls behind closed doors for all you know. <strong>Real charity doesn't need cameras or advertising</strong>. It needs selflessness and good intent.

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<h2>The Indian mentality</h2>
These men know that in a country like India, people take the <em>image</em> created very seriously. If you do a lot of charity in the public eye and support noble causes, then people worship you. They make a <em>demi-god</em> out of you. They idolise you. You can do no wrong.

P<em>eople assume the reel image that these men portray to be their real image as well</em>. And these men know that. This is why they use it as a free pass or license to do anything behind closed doors. Because they know that blind followers would come to support the "<strong>image</strong>" they have created through their PR agencies.

We have got to learn to <strong>differentiate</strong> between a person's image and their actual character. We shouldn't be naive to mix the two and fall prey to false advertising.

Because each time we do fall prey to such gimmicks, an innocent one <strong>loses</strong> the battle and the perpetrator becomes<em> stronger</em>. Let these men know that their money can buy newspaper articles for publicity but not a <em>character certificate</em>. And if you find difficulty in doing that, try putting a female member from your family in place of the victim. Now tell me.

<em>Should we let the "good guy with a clean image" go or question him fairly and hold him accountable in the eyes of the law? </em>

<strong>SHARE </strong>this post with as many people you can to send the message across that sexual harassment of any gender will not be tolerated. Also <strong>PIN </strong>the post if you agree with the ideology and support sexual harassment victims. Thankyou!

<em>Title Picture credit @ Picpedia.org</em>

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