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It’s been three months since my life got twist turned upside down (I hope I don’t need a copyright for that line) and I ended up in another city without any money or means of making money quickly.  Everything felt so uncertain but I already knew that the life of my dreams was starting to manifest.  When your desires pull you in two different directions, there is always going to be a breaking point, and that was my breaking point.  I had wanted to leave for years but wasn’t ready to do what it took to leave, I was comfortable enough, after all.  

Finally my desire to leave forced me into a situation where not only did I have to leave, I had to change my attitude and become positive towards the world, the society which I left behind, and also myself and my ability to be myself while participating in society.  If I hadn’t changed my attitude, I would have been sucked into even more chaos.

In the past I didn’t have faith that I’d be able to remain myself and hold on to my ideals while working a job.  I didn’t believe that society would accept me for who I am.   That has all changed now.  I still have eyes and can see that there are not many people like me walking around openly in society.  By people like me, I mean people who will choose homelessness over sacrificing their ideals, people who will risk their job for their own happiness, people who refuse to listen to “that’s just the way it is”.

I know there are a few people like that out there, many are probably on steemit, so props to you, I’m about to join your ranks.

I had my second interview, it went well, and I will find out in the next 5 days if I can start working in January or if I have to wait until April.  The money to get started working (new apartment contract, cloths, cell phone and service, plane tickets, commuter pass, etc.) has yet to come together but thanks to help from family and friends, I no longer have to worry about how to survive until my job starts.  A good friend decided to just send money my way which helped out immensely.  Another friend decided to take English classes with me which helps me pay rent at another friends place.

My mom also said she understands me now and said that if I am in an emergency situation that she will get me out of it.  She’s always SAID this but up until now it seemed to come with a whole lot of expectations and complaining. Despite being past thirty and with no money and no job, she finally seems to trust my judgement, for the first time in my life.  Perhaps it’s how I learned to tell her how she fucked me up without making her feel like she fucked up or perhaps it’s that I’ve found a good partner, or that all my predictions about society when I was a kid have come true.  Or maybe it’s just that I’m so damn positive now, she can’t help but join me.

With the time between now and when I start this new job, I thought I might want to work online, but I’ve decided against it because I feel so much creativity energy and want to put it to use!  I’m almost finished with my first novel, [Confessions of the Damaged](www.patreon.com/ipluseverything) which I’ve been releasing chapter by chapter.  I’ve also gotten a bit more into my second novel, a sci-fi story.  Today I wrote 8 pages for the former and 4 pages for the later.  That is way may than I’ve ever written in one day.

I’m learning about recording, one of the first things I’m going to buy as soon as I get my first paycheck is a microphone and audio input so I can record music.  I’ve been brainstorming how I want to develop my songs.  I will upload some old demos later this week. 

If you were to look into my bank account, I’m just as “poor” as I was a few weeks ago, but now I can see how things are spiraling upwards at a rapid pace.  On top of everything, my friend taught me some exercise to fix my posture which will fix my back pain and it already seems to be helping!

So it doesn’t matter what situation you are in, all that matters is how you feel about the situation you are in.  When you can feel good despite all your so-called problems (problems are merely reflections of something inside), you will find yourself in better and better situations!  If you need some advice about how, feel free to message me!  
 
Have an awesome day!


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##### If you like what I do, [check out my work at Patreon and consider becoming a Patron](www.patreon.com/ipluseverything) (or helping me find more Patrons by sharing this link on social media) so I can put more time and energy into fiction, music and community building. Some extra fiction and music will be over at Patreon and it's all pay-what-you-want. Thanks for any and all support!

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