<div class="text-justify">Greetings dear friends of Project Hope.

Feeling approved by others is a completely normal and even necessary human need. When we are validated by others, our self-esteem is strengthened and our well-being grows, because we feel safe and part of a group. This need for approval is natural as long as it is healthy, and has an important adaptive function, since we seek the acceptance of a group of people seeking protection and help in a threatening situation. 

<center>![apariencias1.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmb6KGbAbUbsVZ3f4Qpfau1nfw5CkRQNqcFkHkvqrcwrht/apariencias1.jpg)
**_Image edited by @yusvelasquez, original from [pxhere.com](https://pxhere.com/es/photo/1290885)._**</center>

But we cannot focus all our physical and emotional security on what others think. Then, the need for approval becomes a problem when it is necessary to sacrifice our personality and self-concept to try to fit into a society, ceasing to be approved by who we are and instead being accepted by what we appear to be.

I remember that while talking to a friend, an acquaintance came up to him and asked him how his ranch was doing; I was surprised by the question because he doesn't have a farm. When I finished talking to that person, I asked him why he made him believe that, to which he answered "you know, so that they believe that one is on another level".

And so there are many people, looking for external acceptance, pressured by their social environment. And almost without realizing it, they become social chameleons; since they fear rejection and seek to please others, they assume positions and behaviors that are not their own, adapting to their surroundings.

<center>![apariencias2.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmUY3reeLArZc5Q7JHqdfyvKuwd2A1YbnsqZyYZb6xLbVv/apariencias2.jpg)
**_Image edited by @yusvelasquez, original from[pixabay.com](https://pixabay.com/es/photos/mujer-espejo-psique-depresi%C3%B3n-3092412/)._**</center>

It is understandable that we all feel good when we have the appreciation of others, even some studies, such as the one carried out by the Department of Psychology of the University of Illinois, published in the magazine [Child Development](https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2005.00847_a.x), which points out that in childhood is key feel approved by our closest environment, thus strengthening our self-esteem and building our personality. But in adulthood it is necessary to encourage this independence, especially during adolescence.

### And when the need to be approved by others becomes a recurring practice, this begins to undermine self-esteem. 

<center>![apariencias3.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmTPheqCTSaMmcw4WSn8SFGAzrivw1HDdokdahpggeStX6/apariencias3.jpg)
**_Image edited by @yusvelasquez, original from [pxhere.com](https://pxhere.com/es/photo/1226903)._**</center>

Many people obsessed with pleasing others sacrifice their way of being, behaving completely different or appearing to have a higher economic status. Thus, trying to fit into a certain group, they fear that others will know what they are really like, making their lives totally controlled by the way others see them.

As social beings, we want to please others, but there is a difference between feeling valued for who we are and depending extremely on what others think to make us feel good. Even this need for approval can become a real health problem when it becomes an extreme dependency, you will know of cases where people radically change their appearance through dangerous medical procedures because they only feel good when they have the praise and applause of others; otherwise they feel empty.

Well friends, as much as we want, it is impossible to get the approval of all the people around us, so it is important to handle criticism and rejection. We must bear in mind that each one of us is special and unrepeatable, so it is common not to fit into everyone's scheme, so it is not possible to live by appearances.

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**_I hope you enjoyed the reading, and let me know what you think about it. See you next time!_**

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