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How re-assesing my values helped me to overcome my anxiety. by inquiringtimes

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· @inquiringtimes · (edited)
$5.68
How re-assesing my values helped me to overcome my anxiety.
I used to have unsustainable values.  How do I know this for sure?  Because I was miserable for a number of years.

If you've followed my blog for long, you may know that I wasn't born with people skills.  It's something that I've studied for the past 6 months and continue to practice every day.  Because I was such an awkward kid I got bullied a lot, and I felt pretty horrible about myself.  This led to my adopting some un-helpful values.

Previously to very recently my values went something like this:

#### Values

* Being Liked
* Being Popular
* Being Well Known
* Finding Physical Affection
* Being a good person (yes, waaay down here at the bottom, although I didn't realize it at the time)

The problem is that no one is liked by all people; trying to be popular leads to some very unpopular behaviors; being well known has more drawbacks than benefits; and affection isn't something to be sought after, but the result of making others feel good!

The result of this is that I was always anxious about what people thought of me, and I would shape my behavior trying to find the results I was looking for. 

Now, I still get anxious, but lets examine the set of values I'm living by currently, and see how that changes everything.


* I value creating Quality Content.
* Cementing the learning process by writing about what I want to learn.
* Helping people transition to the Steemiverse.
* Making connections on the BlockChain and helping to put useful people together 
* Being a Good Person
* I value the Arts.
* I value all of my new friends here.
* I value all of the people who are contributing an untold amount of time and resources to help build this community.
* I value Gratitude, Kindness, Care, Servitude, Benevolence, and Generosity.

Now that my values aren't pegged to the whimsical feelings and opinions and actions of others, the quality of my life has dramatically improved.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I still get paranoid, and think everyone hates me, and go all crazy and think I'm dying every once in a while.

But it doesn't matter.

What matters is that I just keep being the best me that I can, for every day I have on this planet.  Helping people, and being as much of a blessing to this community as I can manage.

It's not easy to make it here in the steemiverse.  If we can make it here, then we can go anywhere!  What matters is doing the right thing, being a good person and supporting the communities we belong to.  As we continue to add value to the community, it wont matter who recognizes what we do.  It will matter that we've done everything we can do to make the world a better place!

<center><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmYBXepqTTuYxysuiwiu3574RvPtQi6hJsyrCPENjRy1Rm/Lady_Steemit_Tree_Logo_CreativeSoul_800_M.png"></img></center><center>(By @creativesoul via: <a href="https://steemit.com/steemit/@creativesoul/lady-steem-waves-logo-contest-round-two-tree-goddess">Tree Goddess</a>)</center>

namaste.

This is somewhat of a sequel to [Your Values might be what's Holding you Back](https://steemit.com/minnowsupport/@inquiringtimes/your-values-might-be-what-s-holding-you-back-from-success-on-steemit).  Both of these posts were inspired by a reading of "[The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck](https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck) by Mark Manson.

Thanks for Stopping by.   
Steem On

<center><img src="http://i.imgur.com/e5YQbMD.png" alt="hr2" /></center><center><sub>Proud member and supporter of the Minnow Support Project - Brought to you by:</sub></center><br />
<center><a href="http://minnowsupportproject.org/leadership/" rel="nofollow noopener"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/588qGsE.jpg" alt="wit-list" /></a></center><br />
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<center><img src="http://i.imgur.com/q9WrAol.jpg"></img></center><center>See <a href="https://steemit.com/art-services/@inquiringtimes/welcome-to-art-services-warning-this-post-contains-100-steemian-generated-art-collab-edition">Welcome to #Art-Services</a> for more details</center>
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vote your-acct "inquiringtimes" "how-re-assesing-my-values-helped-me-to-overcome-my-anxiety" 100 true
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@clumsysilverdad ·
Great Post and Great Picture / Peace
👍  
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@denmarkguy ·
Congratulations! It's always a big step to go from a life where your sense of self is "other referencing" (I used to be that way!) rather than "self-referencing," where you allow you to be YOU... and how people respond to you is an authentic reflection of who you are in the world.

No we can't please all the people all the time... but then again, who says that's even our JOB?
👍  
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@disarrangedjane ·
You are such a valuable addition to the community! I'm glad to know you!!
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@papilloncharity ·
Nothing wrong with you my friend! Look around and you will see how many others are hurting! I found my own healing by helping others to overcome! Acceptance is never an easy thing and I had to confront my own fears of worthlessness, due to growing up in a tough neighborhood with no father. Life affects us but we can affect it and ourselves right back. I have accepted that I can never "belong", my life is so good now that I don't want to belong and that I walk my own road! Others now want to "belong" to me, but they must find themselves! We were each created for a purpose. I think you have found your purpose! Love is what it takes! Blessings! Stephen
👍  
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@minnowbooster ·
@minnowbooster upvoted this post!
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