Hey guys first off i wanna say its good to post again after a long while. ![IMG_2241.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTBcbkmqJWk4XgMRSotAKHW4iNDQQzQWdNw968ePaS2G1/IMG_2241.jpg) I remember talking about my health and thanking some persons for showing support little did I know that I'll get worse. After taking a treatment for over 5days and wasting funds, I realised that instead of getting better I got worse. I quit my job cause i couldn't continue, it been more than a month and I've been in a very big struggle but does that matter now? Anyways I've been taking a different kind of medication and it's working. ![FB_IMG_1596744532480.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWZ5wjcTrFS52w7GbHCgrefcRfu8fAxiSu6So4UkN8VBi/FB_IMG_1596744532480.jpg) Though I had struggles with life and was scared and uncomfortable to an extent i had a lot of bad thoughts and then i realized the pain i'll cause if i take those steps. Instead i draw closer to God and and spent more time with my family, I had suicidal thoughts and at the same time i was scared of dying. I had no money but i hoped cause i had no one to turn to at this point, people will think I'm using them for fund raising so i sold out some of my stuffs, stayed in Doors till now. The one thing that was there outside God and my family was my laptop and a movie titled Money Heist, it gave me courage. Life at that point was useless cause, i'm physically fine from my appearance but was dying inside. ![IMG_20210712_104325_5.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXYVioWLrjqqcn3MstoNe7asBsVZpSScQWDiDxyPXKbZs/IMG_20210712_104325_5.jpg) I don't take pictures at my darkest times cause i don't wish to remember them. Sometimes i go blackout without knowing and wake up the next day. I was weak for more than a week but God did one thing, Gave me a strong reason to live and that's what i'm doing. You know there is a point where you will wish to just talk to everyone both your enemies and friends, not knowing what will happen next. I managed to check up on my few friends, acted like i'm fine and listened to music just to be strong. ![IMG_20190424_111852.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmf6xd5TTsb1TqhnsXfvjDWpCgwLRiLeA4Shw9gifgLw3n/IMG_20190424_111852.jpg) I'll be opening something new soon but for now i just need to relax and pay up some debts. Its good to be back again, love you all.