Odd Psychology: Navigating the Strange World of Life's "Fault Finders" by denmarkguy

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· @denmarkguy ·
$7.70
Odd Psychology: Navigating the Strange World of Life's "Fault Finders"
Have you ever come across one of those people who can find fault with *absolutely everything?* 

It is almost as if they are making a *career* out of always pointing out the *one tiny thing* that is wrong in the middle of a greater scenario within which lots of other things are otherwise right. 

![1010-Sunrise.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTqeqaTKyGtjXFLS8anW31ibmQSiWndNLm6TjcXvdU4xc/1010-Sunrise.jpg)

Some people try to defend such an approach to life and like to call it *"playing devil's advocate;"* others merely describe it as *"perfectionism."*

Is it really *harmless?* Or is it a little more troubling? What are we *really* looking at, here? 

Frankly, from where I'm sitting it looks more like a *power play* and *a manipulation* to try to control a situation. Maybe it's even about getting that infamous *"last word."* 

For example, let's say that *"Bob"* comes along and and announces that he's finished his latest project. Bob's really pleased with the outcome, and everybody else who helped Bob is also really pleased... except there's this one person in the crowd who points out that Bob did one little thing — usually quite trivial — in a manner that's less and optimal, and as a result *the whole project"* should really be considered finished yet. 

A *whole lot* of people's enthusiasm was just subjected to a cold shower. 


![1004-Purple.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaqWsgtwCEPSpAYDmX1dJ3LkPkxFQJuYWTn6HnzZPU3DX/1004-Purple.jpg)


Alternately, consider an example in which somebody gives a person the perfect gift, but the first reaction from the gift recipient is that the gift giver "should have known" not to use blue for the gift wrap because the recipient doesn't like that particular color. Then some statements are made about how disappointing it is that the gift giver didn't pay attention to the recipient's likes and preferences and immediately everything is thrown off balance. 

OK, so maybe these two examples sound like a bit of an exaggeration but I think you get the picture. 

When I look at people in situations like this, it seems like this obsession with always *pointing out what is wrong* is as much as anything an attempt to keep everybody off balance as it is *actual criticism.* One of the things that invariably happens is that the *"psychological opposite"* of the "picky" person continues to work forever harder in an attempt to please. 


![1019-WildRose.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcXKzVZdHTBfhV8XSHSDFubrwue5zt4ZsSSkwGgypWpMt/1019-WildRose.jpg)


In essence... on one side of the equation, you have a person who's trying to *get control.* On the other, you have a person who is desperately *seeking approval.* Everybody *else* in the group is just getting irritated because their efforts were diminished. 

If we poke at it a little bit more deeply, it seems like you end up with a person who actually *likes to feel disappointed* because it enables them to complain about a situation, which in turn means that they get to take control the narrative. 

Earlier today, Mrs. Denmarkguy and I were talking about people who thrive on *chaos* and it got me to thinking about some of the very *controlling* people I worked with many years ago, when I was in the IT industry. Invariably, these people kept everyone else in a workgroup anxious and off balance with their eternal fault-finding. 


![1048-CaliforniaPoppies.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcsrQNNyPEb5GKYxQAqCbCGxp1Y6ZavSyHWP7yaoRmrvp/1048-CaliforniaPoppies.jpg)


When you find yourself around someone for whom *nothing is ever right,* most *sane and normal* people soon enough lose their motivation to try to do a good job because... *why bother* when it's just going to get criticized and torn apart, anyway?

Maybe I'm too sensitive about it... but I just always found it annoying and demoralizing.

Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!

***How about YOU? Have you ever had to deal with an "eternal critic" and fault-finder? How do you feel about that type of personality? How do you handle a situation like that? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!***

***(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — NOT A CROSSPOST!!!)
Created at 20210407 23:30 PDT
x148***
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@eternal.walk ·
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Hey @denmarkguy      thanks for sharing original content..as well as your insights. I write to invite you to a short survey about your Steemit activities. My name is Soyoung Park, a doctoral student who studies Steemit users’ value-making activities and personal data practices.  Your voice would be a vital part of this research. 

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@denmarkguy ·
Thanks **@eternal.walk** I have vetted your link and will be happy to take your survey; I wish you well with your research... I'm a UT graduate, myself (1985 — yes, I'm ancient!).
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@eternal.walk ·
Wow what a small world really... nice to see you here and thank you again for answering the survey! I sent you the reward :-)
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@mister-omortson ·
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Your post was upvoted by the @mister-omortson account after manual review.
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@denmarkguy ·
Thank you for supporting my content, I appreciate it!
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