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Get over it. You're not doing yourself any favors. That goes for the both of you.

Lover Boy: "You can't define art. No one can. There is no one that is in control of that definition. Seriously, who are you to judge? I'm tired of people beating me over the head with these rules that you have to follow, as if someone died and made them god. There are no rules, and trying to enforce them only discourages people from self expression."

Daddy Pants: "If that's true, then maybe we should eliminate the National Endowment for the Arts since otherwise it would have to give grants to every third grader with a crayon and every teenager who ever spilled ink over some crush. What you're saying is ridiculous. You can't publish every book that was ever written or hang everything ever painted in a museum. You can't teach children that there is no difference between good and better, as if they should make no effort to improve upon themselves."

Lover Boy: "But judging them will destroy them, and all on the basis of arbitrary rules that aren't a science..."

Daddy Pants: "I'm guessing you're some 30 year old hipster living in his mom's basement, unable to face the world because you are too afraid of living up to standards."

...and on it goes, but you are both wrong if you think that the important thing is identity. On the one hand, we are tired of living with judgement and shame. On the other, we just don't have the balls to take any criticism. Not to mention, there is that persistent fear that our civilization is in constant flux, without any agreement on what is or is not a valid English word, let alone what constitutes a great book or sculpture worth keeping.

I understand the limitations of rules, but if what you are worried about is the impact on your self esteem then you are barking up the wrong tree, puppy. You have escaped the limitation of rules to become limited by your own personality. The reason why we might cast aside for a moment this or that way of critiquing a creative work is to enable us to see more clearly. The dangerous thing about seeing clearly is that such an exercise is very often *not* healthy for our egos. If breaking the rules makes you feel better, then chances are you are doing it wrong. You've busted out of some else's box in order to construct one of your own. While that may feel better, it is still just a fucking box. If you are going to challenge assumptions and valuations, challenge them all or go home. That means giving up the assessments that make you feel safe just as much as the ones that stifle you. In order to fly, you've got to jump off that cliff. Perhaps gravity will not be there to oppress and repress you, but it won't be there to keep you safe either. 

As for Daddy Pants, what is the concern exactly? Hacks thinking they are better than you? Money wasted on atrocious public art? Children growing up thinking they can make a career with their poetry and living a life of resentment that the rest of the world doesn't get them? Oh, well, I guess those are somewhat legitimate concerns. However, they are nonetheless beside the point. Yes, it is good to have a few standards to keep us challenged and of course society can't run unless it can apply a little triage to the creative output that comes its way. Believe me, I know. I never throw away a thing my kids draw and now I can build a house from the results. But none of this gets to the bottom of exactly what defines art (for grownups!), and all too often our opprobrium over what doesn't live up to regulation is mostly about protecting ourselves from things we don't like, or don't understand.

To Daddy Pants, I would say this:

*If the rules never change then you're playing the game wrong.*

When Nietzsche talked about the revaluation of of all values, he wasn't saying throw out values. He wasn't a nihilist. He was saying take a torch to the values we have, leaving nothing as sacred, and deconstruct them until we understand what they are good for and how, or whether, they support the the expansion of the human experience. His early philosophy proposed what he called a Dionysian drive and an Apollonian drive within the human psyche. Dionysus is creative and destructive, unrestrained and passionate. Apollo gives form and function. One does not supplant the other. Rather, one sublimates the other. Every great work of art, and many not so great but still worthy productions, go through both phases, one of brainstorming and throwing shit at the wall and one of culling and refining the results. Better yet is the process that takes us through these phases several times. Smash it together, take it apart, smash it together. In the end not only do we come up with something worthwhile, but we understand better why it is so.  Maybe we've thrown out all the rules, but rather than skimming the void we have placed ourselves on surer grounds with principals that rely on something concrete rather than capricious. 

To Lover Boy I would say this:

*Be your own best critic*

Or, to quote from Nietzsche: *you must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame*. Yeah, I like that way of putting it better too. It's not about following the rules, dummy. It's about forging tools to accomplish your goal and mastering their usage. Perspective and pacing, foreshortening and foreshadowing, the mono-myth and meter, rhyme and rhythm - these signify nothing without a purpose behind them. However, purpose is impotent without the right instruments to project it. Is your only goal to placate your poor self esteem? I'm sure you can pay people to praise your work. Hell, there are dozens of self-publishing scams that - for a small fee - will deposit your efforts from a drunken evening into some leather bound and gilded paged intellectual fluffer. You probably have some real gold. Why not make jewelry? Or make lemonade from lemons. Use what you got. Lord knows I don't have much to work with. But the point is, do you want to simply escape judgement and seek out praise? Do you want to obsess over how others see you? Or do you want to change your insides, who you really are, and perfect the expression of your character? 

Because as far as I can see, it is the latter thing that is art.

Disclaimer: I'm not a very good example of this. My own shit sucks. But hey, at least I set the bar low for you.

*Image courtesy of Disney. Please don't sue me, Walt*