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Loneliness by nikolina

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· @nikolina ·
$3.84
Loneliness
<center> Opening up about this topic is not easy. Being vulnerable might be considered as a weakness, especially when you post it online for everyone to see. But sharing my thoughts and experiences here always turned out to be beneficial. It’s like a form of therapy, releasing everything and maybe find another soul who feels the same. </center>

<center> ![loneliness.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdCNrFgTgCa5XTmA9qhu4Pcg8u11FR1vvdunSqe6hJnmR/loneliness.png) </center>

<p><div class="text-justify"> <b>I am a loner.</b> I highly appreciate my alone time. Even when I’m surrounded by people I love, I need my alone time after that. It’s almost like people drain my energy – I don’t know how to better explain it. When I’m by myself, I recharge. I could go quite some time without socializing. Sometimes even too much where I start to overthink and get too much into my head. During my alone time, I hardly ever felt lonely. I fill my time with reading, watching movies/TV series, journaling or just spend time in the garden/backyard when the weather is nice. </div></p>

![loneliness (1).png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVQTZCuKqyQNEf7G3GQxQo4RkdS5qZ9UPTR8xmPt2gbGt/loneliness%20(1).png)

<p><div class="text-justify"> Lately I had some activities like guitar lessons and dance fitness classes where I was surrounded by people, I stayed in touch with my friends, I got off the Social Media (Instagram to be more specific), I got back on posting on Steemit but <b>I don’t remember the time when I felt more lonely.</b> I still can’t point out the exact reason(s) but I feel like nobody really understands me and that nobody really knows me. Like really, really knows me. Not even my family or my best friends. Damn, sometimes it feels like they are the ones who know me the least. Part of it could be the fact that I need a lot of time and comfort to open up when something is bothering me, when I am going through the hard time or have some issues. And even when I open up, it’s doesn’t feel like I do it completely – I always keep my deepest thoughts and feelings to myself. There’s so many things left in air. Unsaid. </div></p>

![loneliness (1).png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVQTZCuKqyQNEf7G3GQxQo4RkdS5qZ9UPTR8xmPt2gbGt/loneliness%20(1).png)

<p><div class="text-justify"> It’s a weird feeling. I went through mild depressions during these past few years. Now I don’t feel like I’m there again, I’ve let myself get into that rut a few times and I think I’ve learned to be better to myself and lift myself up when things are not that good. So I try to occupy my mind and time with things that bring me joy, to be grateful and have a positive outlook on life. But man, sometimes it’s hard!
One thing I’ve also been reminding myself about is to allow myself to <b>feel the feelings.</b> I don’t think that suppressing or ignoring our emotions is good. Now I allow myself to be aware of my negative thought when they come up, acknowledge them and let them go. I cry when I feel like crying. I let myself be sad for a while and then lift myself up. But loneliness is something I’m not sure how to handle and deal with. Again, it’s not like I’m physically lonely, it’s a feeling. I’m trying to look on the bright side – I could learn to be more independent, to be a better friend to myself, haha. It could get me more clarity on what I want from life, to focus on my dreams and rely more on my intuition. It could push me out of my comfort zone and lead me to meeting new people. </div></p>

![loneliness (1).png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVQTZCuKqyQNEf7G3GQxQo4RkdS5qZ9UPTR8xmPt2gbGt/loneliness%20(1).png)

<p><div class="text-justify"> To end this post I have to say that music and reading really helped me as well as spending time in nature. Writing posts on Steemit and interacting with people here also plays a big role in making me feel better. It’s always great to find like-minded people even if it’s an online world. When I read through your posts, stories, experiences, opinions and thoughts I feel like I’m not alone, I feel less like a weirdo that doesn’t fit in the “real world”, lol. Every time I come across something or someone I can relate to, it gives me a lot of positivity and hope. So I have to say, once again, <b> thank you </b> for being you, for being here and for all the inspiration and hope you give me, my dear fellow Steemians! :) </div></p>

![Pink and Slate Grey Photo Beauty Influencer Minimalism Facebook Cover.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSj4jSJiq89xvzjsb1PGmhkJF1B5KeTMCb7XQo4YvDSRu/Pink%20and%20Slate%20Grey%20Photo%20Beauty%20Influencer%20Minimalism%20Facebook%20Cover.png)

<center><h4> Some of my previous posts: </h4></center>

<center> [10 Silly Questions - Just For Fun](https://steemit.com/sillyquestions/@nikolina/10-silly-questions-just-for-fun) </center>

<center> [Hozier - More Than A Musician](https://steemit.com/activism/@nikolina/hozier-more-than-a-musician) </center>

<center> [Practicing Guitar On A Rainy Day](https://steemit.com/lifestyle/@nikolina/practicing-guitar-on-a-rainy-day) </center>

<center> [Focus Of The Month VS Goals/Resolutions](https://steemit.com/lifestyle/@nikolina/focus-of-the-month-vs-goals-resolutions) </center>

<center> [Bullet Journal - February 2020](https://steemit.com/lifestyle/@nikolina/bullet-journal-february-2020) </center>

<center> [Through My Eyes - Poem About Sunset](https://steemit.com/nature/@nikolina/through-my-eyes-poem-about-sunset) </center>
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@revisesociology ·
Hey, 

If you're a weirdo who feels like they don't belong in the 'real world' Steem is the right place for you! It's full of us!

I haven't quite ever got my head around the whole loneliness feeling TBH. I've always enjoyed a lot of my own space, like you, I can go days without speaking to anyone and feel fine (it gets a bit much after 10 days), but just lately I've been feeling the need for more meaningful connections with people - I feel the need to be working or doing something constructive with a bunch of nice people. 

If I look back in life I realise the most balanced periods (ie having personal space and enough meaningful social contact) were when I had a solid group of friends around me - most of my childhood and university days, as a proper adult that's sort of faded. 

I think when we were younger our dreams bonded us together, friendships in adulthood are different, emptier and more distant somehow. 

My recent problem is that I can't seem to meet ANYONE who I click with in my local town and I've bee here 18 months now - people to chat to, but besides that nothing. And I work from home. 

I've come to the conclusion I need to move, I mean I like my own space too, but this lack of social connection is getting silly now!

I have, however, met loads of nice people on Steem, IRL as well as online! 

Hope you find the balance you're looking for! 


👍  
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vote details (1)
@nikolina ·
Thank you for this comment, reading this already makes me feel so much better. 

> I think when we were younger our dreams bonded us together, friendships in adulthood are different, emptier and more distant somehow.

This made me think and it really seems to be that way. As an introvert, I never had big groups of friends, but the ones I had I felt connected to at those times. Now, as you mentioned, I also seek a deeper connection and maybe even spiritual connection that is hard to find. 

I hope you'll find someone in your local town to bond with, I saw in one of your previous posts that you have some plans on changing the location and even though we just 'met' on Steemit, I'm looking forward to follow your journey and really do hope you'll make your dreams come true. :)
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@revisesociology ·
>Thank you for this comment, reading this already makes me feel so much better.

I'm very glad! 

>even though we just 'met' on Steemit, I'm looking forward to follow your journey 

Same here, and I hope you find what you're looking for too Nikolina. 

In the meantime, just fill your time constructively and you're less likely to get consumed by any feelings of loneliness! 

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@steemitboard ·
Congratulations @nikolina! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td><img src="https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@nikolina/posts.png?202002072236"></td><td>You published more than 600 posts. Your next target is to reach 650 posts.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@nikolina) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=nikolina)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


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@barbara-orenya ·
$0.02
As far as I can read and feel, you are on your perfect way even if  you let doubts sometimes interfere, you seem to have a solid connection with your inner being, you just have to be more aware of that, but clearly you are really close to "understand" it...
in fact you get the whole picture each time you feel like to uplift yourself, each time you grab that there is no wrong to feel a negative emotion, that negative emotion is the indicator that you have a temporary disconnection with your spiritual nature, 
and by uplifting yourself, by reaching a better feeling, you reach toward the alignment with your true nature that is joy and happiness 😊 
All human beings true nature is joy, that's why you can have now this feeling of loneliness, because you don't feel like to connect with the others, you want to connect with yourself...once you are aligned with your true nature, you will not suffer of loneliness anymore, and you will also attract the same people as you, the ones who are connected with their soul 😉 
Have a ![xffoly.png](https://img.esteem.app/xffoly.png) @nikolina !
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@nikolina ·
Hey @barbara-orenya, thank you so much for your words of encouragement, it really means a lot to me! 

I also believe that our true nature is joy and just by being born, we have the right to be happy and abundant. 

> negative emotion is the indicator that you have a temporary disconnection with your spiritual nature

I like this point of view, I'll make sure to remember this and remind myself of it. It just feels better thinking that way, being aware that I'm out of alignment, asking myself how I can raise my vibration. :) I am filling my time with things that bring me joy and make sure that I stop and just be present in the moment multiple times a day and express my gratitude even if it's something 'small' like a warm cup of coffee, sunshine, my plants... 

Thank you again for your wise,helpful words, I am happy to connect with you on Steemit and I wish you a wonderful day/weekend! :)
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@barbara-orenya ·
![t0r498.png](https://img.esteem.app/t0r498.png)
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