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Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Others! by sirwinchester

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· @sirwinchester ·
$321.63
Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Others!
<html>
<center>http://picload.org/image/rdgciapg/comparecover0.jpg</center><br>
<p>Everybody does it. Some people less, some people more.</p>
<h3>We compare ourselves to others.</h3>
<p>And although we've heard countless times not to do that, and that we should "just be ourselves" - we still do it sometimes. And it can be quite a burden. The envy destroys our own self-esteem!</p>
<p><br></p>
<p>These are all thoughts that creep inside our head:</p>
<p><em>"How do I get this person to like me, and be friends with me?"</em></p>
<p><em>"How would people react if I acted a little less serious?"</em></p>
<p><em>"Can I really wear this tonight, or what will the others think?"</em></p>
<p><br></p>
<p>We think so much about how other people see us or if they like us, because <strong>it's an instinct of humans to want the respect and recognition from others.</strong><br>
But now, in the modern age, the pressure is even higher than ever before - nowadays it seems like everybody is competing with someone because of their job, status, money, house, car etc.</p>
<p><center><img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/12FcOl0iLH7c2Y/giphy.gif" width="600" height="338"/></center></p>
<p><strong>This means that there is always someone better than you.</strong><br>
There is always someone with a nice car,<br>
someone with a nicer house,<br>
someone with a better job and so on.&nbsp;</p>

<p>We constantly compare ourselves, and as soon as we feel like we have less than someone else, our self-esteem lowers. And at the same time, this makes us appreciate the things we <em>do</em> have less and less.</p>
<h2>Less and less people are feeling truly happy, while more and more people think they need to buy luxurious, material goods to achieve happiness.&nbsp;</h2>
<p><center>https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/31/6a/e9/316ae949a2c2196c0552e00f94fbebe8.jpg</center></p>
<p>We think to ourselves that we have to buy or achieve "something particular" and only then we allow ourselves o be happy.</p>
<p>And the problem is that once we have finally bought something better than our 'competitor', someone else pops up and owns something <em>even</em> better.<br>
So we chase after happiness as if we were on a treadmill, but never actually achieve happiness. (This is also called the Hedonic Treadmill!)</p>
<h3>And when we are chasing after that new car or fancy watch, we are actually really chasing the feeling of being liked and respected.</h3>
<p>If we really want to grow our self-esteem, we can only<strong> reduce our expectations at ourselves,</strong> instead of chasing after success and money even more.&nbsp;</p>
<p><center>https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/dd/9d/29/dd9d29e8be39e69fd6bc1533103041e0.jpg</center></p>
<p><br></p>
<p>So what can we do to actually get those feelings of respect and recognition from others?<br>
We should work on ourself and chase after improving our own character.<br>
We should work on being more kind, confident, satisfied, grateful and mindful.</p>
<h3>And we should respect ourselves for that.</h3>
<p>Yes, the respect from others will follow then.</p>
<h3><br></h3>
<h2>Here are some tips that help you to stop comparing yourself to others:</h2>
<ul>
  <li><strong>Stop begrudging someone their success.<br>
</strong>This may be difficult to execute at first, but just try reminding yourself that that person deserves it as well, and that you're happy for them. It has nothing to do with you.</li>
  <li><strong>Accept that you are not perfect.</strong><br>
And you will never be. You are still a work in progress and as long as you keep wanting to improve yourself, there is nothing to feel bad about.</li>
  <li><strong>Analyze yourself.</strong><br>
For a few days, be mindful of your own behaviour and detect whenever you are comparing yourselves to others. Then, ask yourself what triggered this behaviour, and what would have been a better way to react.</li>
  <li><strong>Appreciate what you have.</strong><br>
Gratitude is one of the most important, yet one of the most forgotten values nowadays. Especially now that everyone is in a contest with someone else, you need to be grateful for what you already have, and don't overlook it while constantly chasing after <em>more</em>.</li>
</ul>
<p><center>https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6e/25/27/6e25272b3dadecf6521b94b379beccb5.jpg</center></p>
<h3>Instead of thinking of other people, focus on what's really important in your life. Your goals, your passion.&nbsp;</h3>
<p>What do you want to do? How would you like to become? <strong>Focus on it!</strong><br>
And if you decide to give this your all, you will be so busy you don't even have time to compare yourself to others!</p>
<h2><br></h2>
<h2>Think about it this way:</h2>
<p><strong>Picture a meadow with hundreds of different flowers.</strong><br>
Some are bright and colorful, others small and delicate.<br>
Some grew in the bright sunlight, others in the shadow of the trees, and other between the rocks.</p>
<h3>All these flowers are different. And how could you ever compare them?</h3>
<p>They have grown in all different conditions, and some would never grow larger or more colorful than others.</p>
<h2><center>... And that's okay.</center></h2>
<p><center><img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/TlDdgIsop5FNm/giphy.gif" width="500" height="281"/></center></p>
<p><br></p>
<p><br></p>
<p><hr><br>
- <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sirtonywinchester/">Instagram -</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/397766613731804/">- Steemit FB Group -&nbsp;</a></p>
<a href="https://steemit.com/@sirwinchester"><img src="https://img1.steemit.com/0x0/https://picload.org/image/rrpgppid/followbtn.gif"/></a>
<p><em><strong>© Sirwinchester</strong></em></p>
<p><br></p>
</html>
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 320 others
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@goldmatters ·
Love this. Be richer by wanting less
👍  
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@sirwinchester ·
exactly! And appreciating what you have!
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@goldmatters ·
I like how Epicurus puts it... 'He who is not satisfied with a little, is satisfied with nothing .'
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@julesber ·
I think this is a helpful reminder to EVERYONE. it's difficult not thinking about the others at all, but it's so much more healthy!
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@zerozone ·
And don't forget, what you see online on social media is a  snapshot of people on their good days.
👍  
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@sirwinchester ·
that's a good point. they only post what they want others to see, which is only the best part, so we should never compare ourselves to that standard!
👍  
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@betsyk ·
great topic and very useful tips. Daily inspiration as always!
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@evast ·
And when we are chasing after that new car or fancy watch, we are actually really chasing the feeling of being liked and respected.

this is so true, great insights!
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@sirwinchester ·
thank you, glad you liked the article
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@acidyo ·
If you check my activity here and then notice my balance... if I would be comparing I would've gone insane a long time ago. :P

I realized comparing was bad when @cheetah (a bot) made so much more than I probably ever will. :D
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@sirwinchester ·
You're right, just keep sticking with it and your efforts will be rewarded - regardless of how others earn money here on steemit!
👍  , , , , , , , , ,
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@williamger ·
once again such an inspiring post, I will definitely try some of this advice!
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@sourcandy ·
if only more people would live like this, I'm sure the world would be a better place!
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@sirwinchester ·
so true!
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@cassyk ·
you never run out of interesting topics. upvoted!!
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@stefaniek42 ·
I love that quote about comparing yourself to the old YOU from yesterday. so true!
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@abbybrown ·
If only this was as easy to implement as it is to read. But I'll try my best anyway, thanks for the inspiration
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@verbal-d ·
$0.06
Keep inspiring people with positive thoughts. Another good post, upvoted. We ourselves need to grow constantly, we standstill complacent when observing and comparing ourselves to other people. We must unlock and pursue our own potential and gifts.
👍  ,
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@sirwinchester ·
Thank you for the feedback! Yes, if we focus on our own improvement instead of looking left and right, we will be much happier!
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@verbal-d ·
You're most welcome. I agree, we should only be looking left and right to observe our surroundings but if we stay focused on the task at hand in self improvement, then we should be tunnel-visioned toward bringing our goals into fruition.
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@thedevil · (edited)
I like to think of myself as God, Himself, only far more popular with the young and non-religious types of women.

But that's obviously a problem, because it means that I'm comparing myself to God, which, itself, is an idea that falls short of perfection, making me less than perfect.

By not trying in any way to become someone better or have something more, I AM perfect.  That's to say, I feel whole and fulfilled when I stop searching for "more" or "better", and the tendency to compare oneself to others, as you've alluded to, is one of the greatest factors that keep that search alive and growing.

I don't have to fulfill some image of perfection, because perfection in the physical doesn't exist, even though I'm the closest thing to it ;)

Rather, I can live a perfectly fulfilled life by fully engaging with what I am *here and now* and what lives in my heart in *this moment*.  To be alive, truly alive, is to be so deep into, and enriched by, our senses that we literally FORGET we have ideas, thoughts and emotions; it's to drop the idea of "self", altogether, living so intensely focused on the here and now that the "happenings" "outside of the body" are experienced just as intimately as those "inside of the self".

The experience of "two becoming one", such as during very passionate and intimate (spiritual) sex, is the ultimate of sensations - it IS perfection.  That's where a very present, free-being person lives, virtually all of the time.  They're one with that which they sense/ perceive.  They make no distinctions between "self" (subject) and "not self" (object).  Therefore, they have no fears.  Therefore, they are truly free and at peace.

I enjoyed your article.  Up-voted and subscribed :)
👍  , , , ,
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vote details (5)
@virtualgrowth ·
# I agree! :) #
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@dresden ·
Beautiful post man. Keep sharing.
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@pollux.one ·
Only compare your younger self to the actual self and the one you want to be... so right!
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@hanamana ·
Helpful to me.
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@btcbtcbtc20155 ·
Great writing!
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@skum ·
I think that once you find your own individual direction in life and set your focus on that, over time what other people you compared yourself to before think of you start to matter less. 

I think it's about finding what you want in life and going for that regardless of what other people think. That's what has worked for me anyway. I used to compare myself to other heaps, it was a huge part of my life. I don't do it very much any more. I'd be lying if I said that I don't all together though. 

There is a certain satisfaction which comes from seeing people who used to think their selves better than you fading away in your dust. Not because you beat them by their own measure, wealth or fitness or whatever, but just by them not having anything to offer you in life because you have out grown them.
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@lifeworship ·
i am just myself. if anything, i compare others to me. when in a group of people, i think, how best to sort out the gems and dump the rest. life is too short to play around with dregs.
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@jlufer ·
Wise words which he introduced in his post. Thank you so much
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@thecryptofiend ·
Well said.  There will always be someone who has more than you and even if they don't you will find some way in which they are better.  By analysing why  we think this way we can start to deal with the actual problem instead of concentrating on others.
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@uziriel · (edited)
You know what, when I started to read your article, every sentence, I keep on meditating , because all you have shared is happening to me, you have this called REALITY that continuously most of the people compare themselves to others, and you are correct, for us to recognize by others is to recognize first our own behaviour , of  who we are, of what we have and what are the passions we have ,to grow our self-esteem and make possible our own dreams to achieve in the perfect time.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@allgoodthings ·
Comparison is the thief of joy!  Did you come up with that beautiful example with the flowers?  Either way thanks for sharing that, it is a very delightful way to put it.  Learning unconditional love and finding yourself/path are also great ways to seize from comparing.  Thanks again for the coding info @sirwinchester ~ Bless
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@meteor78 ·
Nice motivation
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@rawnetics ·
Ok, I better stop now!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@kyusho ·
Steem ahead on your own path and if you do not look back you will not need to worry who is following you.
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@faraz ·
👍💙 @sirwinchester
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@delphia16 ·
That is a terrible race to the bottom. If we keep looking at the lives of others to live ours, then we should be ready to fall into the trap of envy. If you are working on some else's time space, then you can never to get to your own destination.
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@ballinconscious ·
Awesome blog post, Love your own unique perspective and differences from [my blog post also talking about how we compare ourselves with others when we create who we are in the past, present and future](https://steemit.com/philosophy/@ballinconscious/we-expereince-ourselves-in-the-past-present-and-future-based-off-of-comparisons-we-make-with-others). 
Keep up the awesome writing @sirwinchester.
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@mynomadicyear ·
Gratitude is everything! I journal daily on the things I'm grateful for to stay focused on the positive. The best cure for comparison!
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