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Your colleague is not your friend by walkinharmony

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· @walkinharmony · (edited)
Your colleague is not your friend
Before stepping into society, I have been warned that personal relationship is very complicated.

At that time, I did not take it seriously. No matter how complex the personal relationship is, as long as I treat people sincerely, they will feel it.

So, in the year when I first entered society, I was fortunate enough to be in the same department with a group of young people.

The tension, uneasiness, and anxiety that happen when entering the workplace soon dissipated.

Because of our age, I soon became a part of their group. The atmosphere of work is relaxing and enjoyable, I even think that this is just like when I was studying.

A group of young students together, work together, play together.

<center><img class="aligncenter" src="" /></center><br/>

<a href="">source</a>

When I first joined, we also met outside of the working hours, hang out together, occasionally complain about our bad manager. When the company organizes some activities, we are always gathered together in a small group.

In other departments, it seems that our relationships are better than brothers, even ourselves think so.

Later, because of the departmental structure adjustment, I was moved to other departments, and they were fortunate to stay in the same department.

The office area was divided and the distance became far away.

Compared to before, I become more distant from them.

Other than occasionally complain about our managers, most of the time I went to their workplace, and chat with them, but I always feel left out, they are busy, no time to listen to me, even sometimes, when I went to their workplace, they didn’t even notice me.

I feel frustrated, but I tried to comfort myself, after all, the nature of our work is different, the time of busy is not the same anymore.

They are still close to each other, just that I don't feel close to them anymore.

During the company organized activities, I also no longer close to them, fell alone, because they were chatting about things that I seem to really don’t understand.

But who’s care. They are just my colleague anyway.

<center><img class="aligncenter" src="" /></center><br/>

<a href="">source</a>

I just suddenly understand, once a colleague told me, “You will know when you go through a long time, colleagues are just colleagues, you will not contact each other when you are not in the same company. Moreover, you become friends is because of interest relationship.”

In fact, what she said at that time was not entirely correct.

At least, I still keep in touch with her, perhaps because we are not from the same department, there is no so-called interest relationship.

I still think it is possible for a colleague to become a friend.

These few days, the agitation in the chat group seemed to begin to sway me again.

Recently, there was a new movie just released.

They were discussing how the original novel is better than the movie.

Of course, I did not join their conversation as I haven't watched either the novel or the movie.

Out of sudden, someone in the group asks to watch the movie together the next day.

One of them said that she had planned to go to watch it that afternoon, had already booked the ticket, and another said he had already watched it.

I was very surprised. The same asking others to go for the movies, how can no one ask the colleagues that they were close to, to watch the movie?

It's not just the movies, it's like they're only inviting their friends, except at work hours, no one will ask each other out for a meal.

Of course, it does not preclude the possibility of being bored during working hours.

Each of them has their own true friends, apart from the "colleague" friends.

I certainly do not deny that they are friends.

But how could it be? Friends, even if the friend is a colleague, how can they not spend some time outside the work time to maintain it?

<center><img class="aligncenter" src="" /></center><br/>

<a href="">source</a>

Because, relationship with friend need to maintain, and must be actively maintained.

This kind of maintenance is not simple, you have to give your sincerity.

They are really close to each other, because of the common topic of work, the topic of complaining the manager. But I would like to say, how much of this topic can be true and heartfelt?

I do not completely negate the possibility of a colleague being a friend. The premise is that you have to throw away the benefits and be sincere. 


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@emtecks · (edited)
Colleagues are indeed just colleagues, however there are a lot of other aspects to it. I am happy to have a friendly atmosphere with colleagues that I work with and that's enough. Becoming friends (and I mean actual friends) will require a "spark", at the end of the day there generally 2-4 people that you can call friends during your life, everyone else are just "pals" that come and go, which is totally normal as far as I see it. Throughout working in different places, countries, companies - the is only one person that I keep in touch with on a regular basis, but I still can't really say that he is an actual friend. I've recently been posting some stuff related to peoples general outlook on things and life, what is really important to become friends is to have a similar "life goal" (so to say) and overall values.
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