As the date for Steemfest in Poland is getting closer and closer, I decided to take a look into the Polish language, starting with the basic, alphabet, cause it's nice to pronounce things correctly. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL1X26xNA38


After watching the video, I must say that I'm quite amused of how many ways Polish (and Slavic languages) have figured a way to say [s]. Or those sssssnake voices (it makes me think that the best snake whisperers would be Slavs), you know what I mean. If not, watch the video.

Even though they have a gazcillion ways of zcaying thingsz (sorry), I like that the letters are at least consistent (am I right?) with pronunciation, like in Finnish actually, most of the time.

<h2>Oh, oh, I found a real term for "snake voices": <b>[sibilant](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibilant)</b>.</h2>

<sup>Now I can speak using real terms, so civilized.</sup>

So, Polish seems to have... many sibilants: 

<h2>c, ć, s, ś, z, ź, ż </h2>

<sup>Only zetas alone you have three different kinds, damn.</sup>

Oh, then there's also these _nasal vowels:_ 

<h2>ą, ę</h2>

<sup>Just look the video how their pronounced.</sup>

Right, then there's the l with a cross

<h2>Ł, ł</h2>
 
which is just like /w/ in English.


<b>Anyhow, to get back to the topic</b>, the reason why I found the amount of sibilants in Polish amusing and slightly overwhelming personally, is because in Finnish, instead of having 7 sibilants, we have one... Yes, ONE snake voice to cover all purposes, and it's pronounced the same _every time_. Not that stupid inconsistency like in English.

Here it goes, it's 

<h1>s</h1>

<sup>It's essentially the same as <em>the</em> s (out of the seven different ones).</sup>

So, it might take couple of trials to get used to the idea that my s is suddenly 7 different kinds of s.

<b>And to make it more confusing</b>, you combine these together!?

<h2>cz, sz, śc, ćź, żc(?), śz(?)  </h2>  



In Finnish we have it way more simple:

<h2>ss</h2>

<sup>Basically you just take the one s and prolong it when you see there's two of them. </sup>




<b>In Polish there's a word</b>

<h2>cześć!</h2>

which means "hi!"


But as a Finn doesn't recognize half of those letters, he/she would just say

<h2>tsess</h2>

and start wondering why does it sound so much like "chess" in english.

If he/she was particularly unmotivated to learn this new language, he would just make it

<h2>ses</h2>




We obviously like to make things simple when it comes to "snake voices", however, in Finnish we make things way more complicated with <b>vowels</b> and <b>combining them</b>:

<h2>hääyöaate = night wedding idea</h2>

<sup><sup>Six vowels in a row – nice.</sup></sup>

While that isn't exactly a real world, it's technically correct to say it.

Right, you may want to know how to say hääyöaate so you can impress your friends:

_Ä_ is like _a_ in _as_, and when it's two ä's in a row, you just say it like _ass_ without the two esses in the end. Easy, right? Just keep the ass rule in mind.

_Y_ is similar as in the word _two_ or _too_ in English.

_Ö_... well... [like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiUDj6jTgTY).

_A_ is like _u_ in the words _fuck_ and _undone_. Wait... it's also the _o_ in the latter word... Yeah, inconsistent language like I already told you.

_E_ is like _e_ in _held_. Weird, that word is actually consistent with Finnish pronunciation.

Now that you know 5 out of 8 Finnish vowels already, I'll teach you the remaining ones and then you're ready to read Finnish.

_I_  is like _e_ in _east_.

_O_ as _o_ in _only_ or _often_.

_U_ as in _school_.

<h3>Great now you can read Finnish!</h3>







Minä söin eilen jäätelöä hyvän työpäivän jälkeen vaivattuani öylättiä öisiä häitä varten

= Yesterday I ate ice cream after having knead wafer for the night wedding.

<sup>I know, the sentence makes little sense, I just wanted to return the favor of the zcczsccs.</sup>




 So, with all those vowels, a drunk Finnish man is easy to spot.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyFg9xoPKk


OHHOÄÄÄEAJAIAIAAIHJAÄAÄAEAEAIJHAIHEOEHOOAEAE (bemoans in Finnish) PERKELE!!! (swears in Finnish)

Now you might be questioning that why am I bringing this up. Well, two reasons:

Number 1 is that I hope I won't get so drunk that my language flips back to my mother tongue and I start to sound like in the above video.

Number 2, I hope there won't be as much snow in Krakow as in the video. Actually snow is worst coupled with alcohol because passing out in cold might be fatal. So, now I'm just hoping @guyfawkes4-20 won't drown me with Palinka. I'm afraid even a single shot of that stuff will get me tipsy.