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RISE FROM THE DUST by jaynie

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· @jaynie · (edited)
$4.37
RISE FROM THE DUST
<center>

![rise.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZKwsD9X6K8g2sHAiv4w9c87pNVxGk5Jyh3MuRNVjVkXN/rise.png)


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*I have shared some of this part of my journey before, but I have felt an increasing ***need*** to re-trace and re-share those steps again in the last few days. Being enormously perceptive to people has great advantages but it can also carry great weight. I feel a lot more than I sometimes wish to – so it can make managing my own “issues” a lot more challenging when I am walking around worrying about those of so many others too… so in a manner of speaking, this is one way in which I can attempt to instill faith in those who may need a little dose of that right now, and it is also my way of reminding myself that I can in fact “manage” it all. You are NEVER as "alone" as you may think or feel you are and sometimes, you just need to reach out...even just a little.*

>You need to believe in yourself and what you do. Be tenacious and genuine. - Christian Louboutin


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# RISE FROM THE DUST
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<div class="text-justify">

Throughout school, I was repeatedly told by teachers that I would never amount to anything. I seemed to be a forever disappointment to pretty much all of them – Well, I may not have achieved everything I want as yet, but I am still alive –and had you asked me 20+ years ago if I would be able to see myself where I currently stand, the answer would most definitely have been NO. In fact, I don’t think I saw much for myself at all back then, in terms of “future prospects” – it was just not something that I thought about, sadly. 

<center>
![me.png](https://steemitimages.com/607x471/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcHZWHmZFsUsh1ePc1Bo49FvWFmmXpDG9TemgZQVKMFrN/me.png)
</center>

<div class="text-justify">

I simply opted to run away from the reality of my circumstance rather than face it. I explored with every type of escapism I could get my hands on and needless to say, the results of these over years, landed me in circles and situations that were definitely not my proudest moments in life – because it is not who I am, what I stand for or what I wanted for my life – but at the time “It” and “they”, embraced me – acknowledged me… well, that was what is what I used to think… Truth be told, nobody in those situations really gives a toss about anything other than their momentary experience so there was nothing real nor true about those “associations” – other than the fact that they were completely toxic.

There have been times when I have often considered writing a book about my growing up years, you know… just to get it off my chest… because… DAMN they were interesting times. I wouldn’t change them for the world because they have shaped me into who I am today, but I can’t help but wonder if I might perhaps be a little less “off-centre” if I had stayed on the “straight and narrow” when growing up…I lived a very separate life back then… Separate from my family, real friends and anybody who actually cared about me. I lived … alone… yet surrounded by so many! It really was a crazy and also an incredibly lonely part of my life - One which disintegrated me right down to my core. I know for sure that my mom would rather forget those years, because I think she was exposed to more of it than anybody else in my family and circle of friends.

Starting from the ridiculous age of 11 I began choosing to expose myself to things that NO child that age should EVER have to experience. Aside from throwing copious amounts of acid, ecstasy, cocaine and others I care not to mention down my throat on a daily basis for years on end as well smoking copious amounts of weed a day I also exposed myself to so many other things that really do make me shudder when I recall them…writing exams high as a kite, stealing money from friends and family to feed my recreational habits, assisting house break-in’s, bumming money at train stations to go partying with, sleeping on the street, physically abusive relationships, lies, arrests and so much more…

Yet almost miraculously, despite everything I have exposed and subjected myself to, I have somehow never really lost complete control of “my-SELF”. With each and every situation I placed myself in, I have eventually reached a point of “internal interrogation”. I would stop and lecture myself – “is this really what you want for you and your life?” and the answer was always NO. – And so eventually, I would walk away, from whatever “it” was at the time. Yes, It took me a some years to “walk away completely” if you will, but I did by the time I was 21.

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![a35c94514e5c2dbc8eda61270316470c.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQma8K9ZNuTYgNi2pWQfvFiW2yqdicEqcpK6JgRTiF1pwRn/a35c94514e5c2dbc8eda61270316470c.jpg)
<sub>[CREDIT](https://gomcgill.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/a35c94514e5c2dbc8eda61270316470c.jpeg)</sub>
</center>

Like I said at the beginning of this post, it is at times when I begin to feel like I have had to be too strong for too many people (including myself) for too long I reflect back to those years, remembering how much strength I constantly had to muster in order to overcome each scenario I placed myself in… and believe me… some days it took a lot to get back up and keep moving. I know that I – like everybody else, was born with a purpose… and I haven’t fulfilled that yet. I am writing this because I want everybody else who might feel like “giving up” - to stop and remember WHO THEY ARE – before they were hurt – before they were broken, chipped and scarred. That person which is often just a vague memory is absolutely still there!!!

>Believe in yourself, go after your dreams, and don't let anyone put you in a box. - Daya


If there is one lesson I have learnt WELL it is that when you have hit rock bottom… there is only one direction to go, and it is up, and when youfind the drive to rise there is NOTHING that can break you! Things might hurt, but if you remember your journey you will have an endless supply of strength at your disposal! Never forget that! If you need to, be angry, hurt, upset, frustrated, bitter or anything that you need to be…. Take it in, FEEL it – but only for a short time – then let it GO! And channel that energy into something constructive. Negative emotion, if allowed to consume you will literally eat you from the inside out. You might feel like a square peg in a round hole “pretending” that everything is ok, but that feeling will only last for a certain period of time. Persist! You will thank yourself later, I promise!

<center>
![Perseverance-Quotes-Never-Giveup-1584.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWgzXEhMVBnG4LzHB51earKwtHmiKq56nzYpjyEjcLKRF/Perseverance-Quotes-Never-Giveup-1584.jpeg)
<sub>[CREDIT](http://auraquotes.com/images/auto/Perseverance-Quotes-Never-Giveup-1584.jpeg)</sub>
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***Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx***


<center>[![Steemit logo Jaynielea.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmP1J9mpRv3UMfXVUeQ5hT6W8cxudceSZZyFMucHVtiqh2/Steemit%20logo%20Jaynielea.png)](https://steemit.com/@jaynie)


![Jaynie.gif](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRBhqgst2sWG4DRWGGirwQQRLCWpMk8TvB8sPwzqsqiNa/Jaynie.gif)

<sub>[PHOTO USED FOR HEADER DESIGN](https://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/clouds-of-dust.jpeg)</sub>

<center>


![line1.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQq9waPnyUTDtQgJTaTgMCTgA8aPa8z8Jd2uhjB1sFmdo/line1.png)

![](https://steemitimages.com/107x71/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNmUHX2kDmYEAPJoPazrhanigmEYBKFmQmyno2YYnsqMS/image.png)
# EARN STEEM - AUTO-POST TO STEEMIT FROM INSTAGRAM
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### [CLICK HERE TO SET IT UP](https://share2steem.io/?ref=jaynie)
</center>
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### [JOIN ME ON INSTAGRAM TOO](https://www.instagram.com/jaynielea/?hl=en)


<br>



<center><sup>Posted from <a href='https://www.instagram.com/p/Btfg8H5hpBG'>Instagram</a> via <a href='https://share2steem.io/?ref=jaynie'>Share2Steem</a></sup></center>

 

![line1.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQq9waPnyUTDtQgJTaTgMCTgA8aPa8z8Jd2uhjB1sFmdo/line1.png)


# WHO ARE THE 

<center>![Power House Creatives _night mode.png](https://steemitimages.com/407x271/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaiw4cFKQ3DcVEFB45qJZ7H92FL4WFmZEXPUZqthprUFT/Power%20House%20Creatives%20_night%20mode.png)</center>

<div class="text-justify">

The [Power House Creatives](https://steemit.com/@steemitbloggers) is a discord community of individuals who are committed to producing content which adds value across multiple platforms. We are ***STRONGLY*** focused on supporting our fellow members individual growth as well as offering support to those that are still trying to get ahead. We are a ***CLOSE KNIT*** community of individuals, each with our own strengths, passions and input, yet ALL willing to go the extra mile for our family members... WHY? - because, simply put -  we CARE about one another and MANY HANDS make light work! - THAT is what FAMILY is about! - ***To infinity and beyond...***

![text15.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWXynVma7pYo3MCivJ5Cb6Nfae2uMGNt11YGxqysBGqBW/text15.png)

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# INTERESTED IN JOINING THE PHC FAMILY?
</center>

<div class="text-justify">

As most of you already know our community is closed. This does not mean that we are trying to keep people out or that we ignore those who aren’t members – it simply means that we are focused on keeping our standards of content high and our member commitment higher. I think if nothing else, we have proven those two qualities to the Steemisphere over the last year and even more so in the last seven days.

I am not going to sugar-coat things for anybody, because it would not make any sense whatsoever, nor would it serve anybody fruitfully - long-term. Our community is incredibly proactive - and DRIVING the success and growth of the people within it is our FUNDAMENTAL PURPOSE, because this is how they are able to do the same in return for other individuals in communities beyond our own! Our reach extends WAY beyond our own walls and this is one of the primary reasons why it is important to ALL OF US that each of our members are able to hold our flag high wherever they may roam. 

We work hard, we play hard - we support one another through thick and thin, we know whats going on in our "3D" lives and no matter what it is - we are there for each other! Yes, there are daily responsibilities and obligations. Yes, there are things that fly within our walls and things that definitely don’t. Yes, we require quite a bit from you as an individual but you get it tenfold in return and ANY ONE of our members will gladly testify to this. Absolutely EVERYTHING is catered for and considered… including those times when you will NOT be able to fulfill your obligations. It simply requires the following of our procedures, which once you have grasped – are not complicated at all - I promise. 

Everybody in our community jokes about my “boot” because they know that there are certain things that never were and never will be tolerated within our walls… and when they surface, those people will very quickly meet my infamous “boot” sending them out the door – or at least showing them that it is open. A few such things would be the likes of: not doing what you promised to do when joining, not being a team player, plagiarism, spamming, causing trouble with other members etc. These are all no-brainers really, so should not be much of a shock or challenge to anyone who is actually on Steemit (or any other platform) to make it a better place for everyone!

We may be a relatively small collective, but we have approx. 118 members from over 30 countries and that continues to grow. Most of our members are also key players in some of Steemits other highly regarded and supportive discord communities and initiatives - and all of us at “home” know without question or doubt that every single one of our members will make us proud with whatever they do – wherever they go – and that is precisely how we intend to keep it. Simple as that! No, this kind of “ethos” does not work for everyone – and that is perfectly fine - Each to their own. The people who have done the *“putting in”* are the ones that understand what they *“get out”* of it all ;)

So, if I have not scared you away yet, or if the above info excites you *(even better)* and you would still like to put in an application to join our fantabulous and VERY crazy little family… then by all means – hop into our applications server and do the necessary. 

<center>

# [YEAH BABY YEAH - I WANT TO APPLY](https://discord.gg/uDJUhGr)

# [HELL NO - WAY TOO MUCH HARD WORK](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a4/65/13/a46513f4e96e34fc49d4b29b3b2d6c0d.jpg)
<br>


![line1.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQq9waPnyUTDtQgJTaTgMCTgA8aPa8z8Jd2uhjB1sFmdo/line1.png)

<center> 
## INTERESTED IN SUPPORTING CURATION INITIATIVES? </center>


<div class="text-justify">

@theluvbug regularly supports the Steemit community with upvotes and resteems of great content which is really adding value to this platform, but in order to grow and be able to offer MORE SUPPORT, @theluvbug needs your help - with upvotes and resteems of the latest curation announcements on that profile.

</div>

<sub>https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://im4.ezgif.com/tmp/ezgif-4-c406374fdc.gif</sub>



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👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 379 others
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vote details (443)
@seadbeady ·
$0.04
What a great blog - reminds me a bit of my past - although I did not do all that crazy stuff - I was mocked with a lot when I was a young girl - thinking I was a stupid crybaby - but it made me the person I am today - stronger and better :)
👍  
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@jaynie ·
Exactly! Be thankful you see it like that.... many don't :) Glad to see you are doing well on the platform so far! I will be in touch with you soon!!!! I have had a few life curve balls so have derailed in the recruits mission but as soon as a I  am ready I will shout! xxx Thanks for the support sweetie !
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@blueeyes8960 ·
Thanks for sharing your story with us.  What an ordeal you went through, but came out the other side!  I hope my son can do the same, he landed in prison because of his drug abuse.  Proud of you girl for overcoming that life and making it what you wanted it to be!
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@jaynie · (edited)
Thank you love! It seems a life time ago! - but no less real in memory. Not sure how old your son is, but the best advice I could give you, is to befriend him. See if you can guide him that way. The "hard hand" seldom works with people who have already chosen that road... 

Would be happy to chat via DM if you want to.
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@steem-ua ·
#### Hi @jaynie!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your **UA** account score is currently 5.388 which ranks you at **#681** across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 222 contributions, your post is ranked at **#132**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* You've built up a nice network.
* The readers appreciate your great work!
* Try to improve on your user engagement! The more interesting interaction in the comments of your post, the better!


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**
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@steemitboard ·
Congratulations @jaynie! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/postallweek.png</td><td>You published a post every day of the week</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@jaynie) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](http://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=jaynie)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


**Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:**
<table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/3-years-on-steem-happy-birthday-the-distribution-of-commemorative-badges-has-begun">3 years on Steem - The distribution of commemorative badges has begun!</a></td></tr><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://u.cubeupload.com/arcange/BG6u6k.png"></a></td><td><a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@steemitboard/happy-birthday-the-steem-blockchain-is-running-for-3-years">Happy Birthday! The Steem blockchain is running for 3 years.</a></td></tr></table>

###### [Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1) to get one more award and increased upvotes!
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@kaerpediem ·
You have had many challenges in life
I too have had challenges from young, but a different sort
So absolutely agree with, I'd never change any for it has made who I am

Thank you for sharing something so intimate with us <33
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@nickyhavey ·
A really moving journey you've been on Jaynie. Despite all you've been through, you've dusted yourself down and come back in a big way with the adventures you've been on with various different businesses and now PHC. I'm glad you carried on and stuck to your purpose, otherwise we wouldn't have met.

You've inspired me to write my next blog now about getting through my PhD which was by far my biggest challenge so far. 4 and a half years on, there have been new challenges faced but I always draw on my experience from that dreadful 5.5 years that "anything is possible"!
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@birdsinparadise ·
Wow, what a great write @jaynie!  Bravo to you for your tenacity and perseverance.  I am so glad you have found the brighter side of life.  I don't know why it was that we tortured ourselves when we were young.  I look back and can't understand the choices I made.  Perhaps it was to cover the pain and sorrow, fear of failure or just fear? Wise words from a young woman.!  Thank you for sharing with us :)
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@joeylim ·
$0.28
Hey Jaynie, thanks once again for being so brave and sharing your personal experience so that all of us will not feel so alone in our individual struggles <3

You've been a great inspiration, to more than you know ((':

Love this quote you cited:
>You need to believe in yourself and what you do. Be tenacious and genuine. - Christian Louboutin
👍  ,
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@papilloncharity ·
Certainly a great read and very open and honest. I was always a rebel mainly due to no dad, but this post is about you Lady Jaynie and it's great that you, through your own experiences are spurring others on not to ever give up.
Really admirable!
Blessings!
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@lizablove ·
You are a very determined woman @jaynie ♥ I love your passion & perseverance, your commitment to being you & living the life you love. Like you, I've felt the desire to "know my purpose." I was listening recently to Anita Moorjani talk about her Near Death Experience, and she shared her thoughts on "purpose." She believes simply being here gives us purpose, and all we have to do is love ourselves unconditionally & be who we are...joy. I love that interpretation! It takes the weight off of my shoulders :) Thank you for sharing and for being real ♥
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@raj808 · (edited)
It is insane how similar our early years were Jaynie. I also started smoking weed when I was about 12 and by 13 it was every day. Home from school, do my homework (or not) and then get stoned... that was the way it went. I was completely withdrawn from anyone at school because of bullying, but I had a bunch of cool friends outside of school so I guess that was a win. I didn't get into the harder stuff until much later, about 17-18 but conciquetially this meant I didn't get away from that lifestyle (of recreational chemicals) until my early 30s.

I'm convinced that that hard living (on the body and mind) lifestyle, has contributed massively to the chronic illness I have to live with now. But like you, I see those experiences not in a completely negative way. Sure, I do sort of wish I'd lived differently sometime. But my creative writing is completely a product of having journeyed in that way, in the mind so to speak. There is a dichotomy though as if I hadn't done so much of that type of thing, I would have had my sht together to get serious about my writing a lot sooner. It's all swings and roundabouts though, my life isn't very secure now, financially at least, but I now know I have the drive to reach out and complete those dreams of writing novels. I'm excited for the future 🙂

P.s. this is a post I really needed to read right now. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts and experiences x
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@bengy ·
Great that you have made yourself something... although it is weird for teachers to tell kids that they will amount to little... It is interesting though, how we self identify ourselves, what we consider important and what is considered "successful...".
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@zen-art ·
Thank you for sharing so much personal and emotional stuff with us. I for one very much appreciate it and find it very motivational especially now with everything that has been happening in my life. Thank you for inspiring us all. Much love!
👍  
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@iamjadeline ·
This is such a heartfelt sharing. You are so courageous to openly share this with us. You know, when my son saw the photo above, he said this "the jiejie so cute" means the sister so cute. Hehe.

You are who you are because of the "rise up" you had decided to go. And now you are encouraging many. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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@agmoore ·
I have a longer road to look back on than you do, but I agree:  wherever you are in your journey, always look up.
Regrets are important, I think, not as burdens but as lessons.  I try to forgive myself mistakes, but try really hard never to repeat them.  That's the best we all can do, isn't it?
Good luck on your journey forward.
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@allyinspirit ·
Such an inspired and inspiring article Jaynie. Your inner strength now can be such a welcoming light to so many people who may not always be feeling their own inner strength ~ YET. 

Making an actual decision to BE an artist, my life has had many 'challenges' and there have been times when I've 'given up' and stopped making 'art.' But I've found that my 'Creative Muse' just moves into another sphere. 

My aim has always been to create with purpose, as central to my life's purpose and I'm beginning to understand that everything that has happened to me in this life has given me all I need to be able to do this.  It's a wonderful jouney, when all the pieces start to come together and you can see why 'this' and 'that' HAD to happen.  ♥︎♥︎⚖️♥︎♥︎
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