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SO YA WANNA BE A SEXWORKER? by tigerlily321

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· @tigerlily321 · (edited)
$31.57
SO YA WANNA BE A SEXWORKER?
I'm gonna backtrack into what my blog was originally sposed to be about when I first started writing it. Insider info on sexwork. I know people don't come to Steemit for this kind of advice (hello Google) but I'm putting it out there. For a friend of a friend. So take my hand as I guide you through a few things I knew going into my escort career, and a few things I've learnt on the way.  

FIRST THINGS FIRST. PROFILE SETUP.

I've only ever worked independently, so I can only advise about that. Sure, you could work for an agency, but they take nearly half the money you earn, and I feel there's less opportunity to be your real self. The site where I list my escortyness, you can go as big or simple as you like. I hate writing bios -  I've deleted and restarted my account at least three times, and every time I do I hate writing it. Just make sure you come across as how you really would be in person. If yer the mad pornstar type, throw in a lot of dirty talk. Personally, I go for casual laidback. There are a million guys wanting all sorts, so someone will like you. Definitely take some time to browse other girls pages, just to see how they show themselves. You'll pick up things along the way and adjust your page accordingly.

KNOW YOUR WORTH

Which brings me to this. Look at other girls to see what the average price per hour is in your region. Remember you are selling your body and your time; not flogging a coffee table you don't want anymore. A higher price can attract a more respectable clientele. It all comes down to what you feel comfortable with. There are girls that will charge half of what you do. They'll fuck twice as many men (or more). Believe in your worth and stick to yer guns, people pay for more than sex; A good personality will go a long way too.

IS EVERYONE OK WITH THIS?

You might not be able to tell yer mum and dad, but what about your friends? Some people won't like it, they won't get it. You need to think about if sexwork will affect your relationships never, now, or later down the line. Not giving a fuck is hard to do. Some people can't keep secrets, and sexwork is juicy gossip in small towns. I've been lucky enough to have someone (besides my partner) who I can confide in completely, who knows this world like I do. More so than my partner actually, because he doesn't want to hear the gory details. Me and my boyfriend talked it out for a loonng long time, before I started escorting again. To me, it's a business transaction, it's work. And when we were skint as fuck, it was a big help. I did it for us, but never for me (I'm not some mad nympho who just wants to fuck). I captilised on my sexuality and my acceptance of sexwork in general. If your partner can't deal with it now, they never will. Though, I wouldn't ruin a good loving relationship over this. If you're single (like I was when I started out) then no big deal, go do whatcha want ;) 

INCALLS OR OUTCALLS?

I don't do incalls for these reasons: It's my house, where me and my boyfriend live - I need to keep parts of me separate to my escort persona. It's also a rubbish little house and I've been in redecorating DIY mode for the past year. With lots of unfinished projects. When I lived in London it was easy to get around to do outcalls on public transport, but now I live up North, it would be impossible if I couldn't drive. Think about the areas you cover, and how you can get there. Doing incalls may be easier, if your house and life is suitable for it.

YOU DO YOU AND NOTHING ELSE

Figure out what you're comfortable doing. Don't ever be pressured into doing something you're not. Trust your gut - generally when something sounds to good to be true, it is. Know what makes you great, add some sex and confidently put yourself out there. People will like you. Try and make friends with other sexworkers, don't see them as competition. We gals should stick together.

IT'S NOT EASY MONEY

Yeah, you can make a lot in an hour. But what if you only work 2 hours that week? Still more than a part-time minimum wage job (trust me) but you have to work hard to promote yourself. Personally,  I think mentally and physically preparing for an escort meet, as well as the down time after, goes so much beyond what the client sees. Get ready to have your time wasted, it's part and parcel of the job. There will be quiet times (school holidays in particular). BUT. There is no better feeling then leaving with fat stacks in yer purse after an hour. AN HOUR. You are gonna learn to love yourself in ways you never even knew. You're a bad bitch for even doing this.

GET A BUDDY

Penultimate point, important. Never meet someone without telling someone else. Write down their name, username, address, phone number, all the info you have, whatever. Text it to someone. Where I work, there is a ratings and feedback system. It's for both clients and workers, so we all have a better idea of the people we may meet. Even if they have amazing feedback, let someone know where you are and when you're expecting to finish. Any decent client will not be offended by you getting your phone out to a) let someone know you have arrived and b) letting them know you are out and done.

AND FINALLY, FEEL THE FEAR

If you are anything like me, it will always be nerve-wracking. I almost never know what the people will look like, so it's like a blind date every time. Where we have to fuck immediately. I'm really not an overly confident gobby kinda girl, but I can chat shit, and that's all you need really. The nerves should go quickly, you just need to hold your own. You will meet some cool people. You'll meet some people you wish you hadn't. You'll learn things about yourself, and you will always have interesting dinner party convo. Not that I've ever been to a dinner party. I do like telling strangers about what I do though..

Good luck and kisses :D

![Screenshot_20180818-201934.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRXxsbr17dNqr2GGJ58e5n2HzcGLWtxrRnnwXf2btBefY/Screenshot_20180818-201934.jpg)
(TOP TIP: Get a few pairs of holdups. Most men love 'em and it means you can get away with stubbly legs. Don't buy stockings though, they're fiddly as fuck)
πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 855 others
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@krevasilis ·
I feel no fear let me taste you
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@tigerlily321 ·
Well I sell panties for like a tenner.. if you ain't in the UK though you may incur some postal charges ;)
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@krevasilis · (edited)
What
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@c-squared ·
c-squared-comment
<div class="pull-left">https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaSUWYsJ3AMUEMRqCSaoKJVNvtsbKm4fNAtmTidr8Uggc/C%20Squared%20Logo%20Transparency%20200px.png</div><br>This post was shared in the <a href="https://discord.gg/B8JFmJ4">Curation Collective Discord community</a> for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
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@curie ·
Congrats on a Curie vote!
Hi tigerlily321,
<div class="pull-right">
https://steemitimages.com/DQmXgrYG8AKimJKRSu2urPB5SPcftN6GCGx2gVJJMwBkuTu/Curie%20Logo%2075px.png
</div>
This post  has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed).  Have a great day :) <br>
 
Visit <a href="http://curiesteem.com/">curiesteem.com</a> or join the <a href="https://discord.gg/G6RPUMu">Curie Discord community</a> to learn more.
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@tigerlily321 ·
holy shit.. did you just take me from 17 upvotes to 813.. I will have a great day, thank you :D
πŸ‘  
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@bethwheatcraft ·
Dayum, look at that upvote girl!!! Go you! 

I have always been too chicken shit to escort, so I have stuck to camming. I worked at a strip club for all of about 3 weeks a few years back, and when I went to potentially get into it again the owner told me he would "fuck me" but not "hire me". Ugh ugh ugh.

Even the interactions at the club in my short stint there made me hesitant to ever escort, though I had always wondered if the clientele would be different.

I guess I have seen too many episodes of Law and Order SVU that have scared me away, that and I have a hubs and kids now...(though I still have had on/off camming work) I'm just the fucking worst.

Great blog as always! :)
πŸ‘  ,
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@tigerlily321 ·
man I dunno what the fuck happened, yano me, I'm happy with a 0.017 sbd upvote thing. Guess the right people resteemed at the right time ;) 

And it's funny you mention strip clubs, a few weeks ago I applied to be a dancer at my towns strip 'lounge'. I told my bf when they finally got back to me, saying they'd love for me to come down and be a stripper. That's not cool with him though. Too close to home. Stripper dreams dashed, aw dang.

But yeah, strip clubs are bars at the end of the day, so the clientele is different. Escorting is the only thing I do sober ;)
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@tigerlily321 ·
also you're defs not the worst.. you're the best :D I idolise you the perfect amount. Not too much, not too little..
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@effofex ·
It looks like you got a @curie vote, which is  a great boost. Beyond that, you were featured in one of their recent posts, it's how I found this post. Thanks for a really interesting writeup on a section of life that we don't really get to hear about very often.
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@snowmachine ·
This is an awesome article. I've never been a sex worker (Unless modeling in the nude for free counts), but I've always been fascinated by it. My book coming out next year, GIRL LIKE A BOMB, is about a woman who can heal people through sex.

Anyway, I like you already! I saw you followed me on Twitter and my phone wouldn't let me follow you back because of "sensitive material", and I saw no way to change it in the settings. Argh. But good news, I can follow back on my PC.
πŸ‘  
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@tigerlily321 ·
$0.07
loving these multi-platform convos.. ;)
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@adamada ·
The blockchain does not discriminate and post whatever you want (no spam or plagiarism). This is an awesome post and definitely plenty of insights in a taboo subject. I think this would be the second time someone got a curie upvote for the same topic. Your post is a good read and it helps me understand the people that come into the clinic (social hygiene) and risks that come along with the job.
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@tigerlily321 ·
Aw, thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it and it provided a bit of useful insight into something I hadn't considered - I thought about going into sexual health (I'm assuming thats what you mean by social hygiene clinic), if I'd been more inclined for a medical career ha, some nurses are so lovely and kind but I've definitely seen a few who seem a bit judgy.
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@adamada ·
I don't think anyone lives without being judgy. It's only a matter of how much aware we are that we judge others differently the way we judge them back. And yes, sexual health is an area I'm concerned about since the country I come from has the topic under taboo. We get a lot of diseases in response to poor health education thanks to that. You take care,I think being vocal about this gives you a high chance of being an advocate for sexual health :D
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@falseyedols ·
Congratulations on the Curie vote! Well deserved, Tiger. I enjoyed reading this. It's such a taboo career to some, and I have definitely been curious how all that stuff works.
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@tigerlily321 ·
$0.04
Thanks, it was lovely of them, and the other group that resteemed me too.. I refreshed my blog page after and had to do a double take ha, used to making pennies ;) I shall strive to keep y'all informed :D
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@falseyedols ·
Yeah I remember the first (and only) time I got curie'd. Nearly shat myself XD
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@douglasbalmain · (edited)
Unsolicited idea for new post: 

How would an inexperienced and/or first-time client navigate finding/purchasing the services of a sexworker in a way that would increase the likelihood of them having a positive, and safe, experience?
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@tigerlily321 ·
I guess that would be a good idea for a post, I could defs advise on it though I've always said I won't name the site I work at, which is all I know really. Just cos mainly they don't deserve my free advertisement ha, but maybe I just should.. I'll have a think.

Although if this is something you'd like to know personally, we can chat on discord, skype, twitter.. ;)
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@douglasbalmain · (edited)
Thanks for the response @tigerlily321, and for the private consultation offer; much appreciated!

My suggestion wasn't motivated by my own specific desire to solicit a sex worker; but I think it would be productive to begin introducing the entirety of the business to the modern age. Right now it's viewed as a taboo subject, in many places it is illegal, and there is an abundance of misinformation, prejudices, and small mindedness surrounding it. Most people's knowledge of sex work comes solely from the popular media and entertainment industryβ€”

β€”in short, they have no knowledge of it.

If the general public knew more about the experience as a whole, including what would potentially be expected of them as a client , it would make for a healthier and more pleasurable environment for all involved...

...Plus, I think it'd just be a read that people would generally be interested in, whether or not they intend to engage in paid sex or not.
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@osagaray ·
Very good :)
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@tigerlily321 ·
Thanks :)
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@randomwanderings ·
Hi, @

Loved the post! One of the best things about the Steem Blockchain is that a post like this can see the light of day. It is great to see a look into a profession that has many stigmas attached to it, and that many people just don't understand. Very happy your post got the extra attention from the vote.

This post was nominated by a @curie curator to be featured in an upcoming Author Showcase that will be posted Saturday evening (U.S. time, about 12-18 hours from now.) on the @curie blog.

NOTE: If you would like us to NOT feature your post in the Author Showcase please reply, email, or DM me on Discord as soon as possible. Any photos or quoted text from your post that we feature will be properly attributed to you as the author.

 - If you would like to provide a brief statement about your posting, your life or anything else to be included in the article, you can do so in reply here or look me up on Discord chat (@randomwanderings#9929 ) or even through email to randomwanderingsgene at gmail .com .  This personal addition to my article is always one of my favorite parts.

You can check out <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@curie/curie-author-showcase-august-19-2018">our previous Author Showcase</a> to get an idea of what we are doing with these posts.

Thanks for your time and for creating great content.
Gene (@curie curator)

<a href="http://curiesteem.com/">
![Curie Badge transparency.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUNc17Rk5Bnd3C7DmXzhNzn1Eao6T9rYxNyCb6B7WN9YA/Curie%20Badge%20transparency.png)</a>
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@tigerlily321 ·
Argh that's awesome! Wish I'd seen in time but since my laptop packed in I've been taking a break, how do I see that?
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@randomwanderings ·
Here is a direct link to the post.  https://steemit.com/curation/@curie/curie-author-showcase-august-26-2018
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@metametheus ·
I’m sorry I’ve only come across this post after 8 days, coz I’d love to have upvoted and pass on a reward.

Because I wanna say β€œyou go grrl!” 

My partner is a sex worker, as are many of my friends (male and female). There is such stigma about something that – as you say, as does everyone else I know – is simply a job.

Fully support you sharing your work and normalising it here on this platform!!
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@tigerlily321 ·
Thankyou so much :D
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