That is how I read it. Great (making) love, they all feel good, not allowed (perhaps once a year) and that is the cold shower. Disappointments, crying, etc being unhappy/miserable = not worth it.
Will try to read more soon. 💕
Yup, addictive, so dangerous, but does not mean they cannot making love 'as usual'.
Tonight I am not in a condition to write as I suddenly have a strong toothache with the pain shooting up into my left eye. Got to last until morning. The damn thing is, there are dentists open until 4 in the morning, but it is too dangerous for an old white man to walk around any suburb of J'burg at night, especially as I am surrounded by drinking taverns. Luckily I have some Naartjie oil to keep me going.