Compulsion: A Story Written for @tristancarax by agmoore

story · @agmoore · Nov 26 '19 (edited)

$4.67

Compulsion: A Story Written for @tristancarax

For those of you who have read my stories in the past, prepare yourselves: This story is like no other I have written. You will discover thirty-word sentences, with multiple dependent clauses. This is not my style.

The rule generally governing my writing is, less is more. However, @tristancarax, an extremely creative Steemian, has thrown down a challenge. He has created a strict format in which writers must tell a story. There *will be* exactly 31 sentences in the story. Each sentence *will have* a defined length, and the order of the sentences is determined *in advance*. Every sentence *must be* a true sentence, except the sentence with 1 word.

There's more. We have a prompt! Check out @tristancarax's [blog](https://steemit.com/contest/@tristancarax/the-31-sentence-contest) for a full description of this, but it relates to styles of thinking: a growth mindset vs a determined mindset.

This is the sentence order @tristancarax mandated:

4, 8, 6, 7, 15, 24, 3, 16, 25, 26, 10, 21, 29, 13, 28, 12, 2, 9, 23, 31, 22, 5, 18, 1, 11, 14, 17, 27, 21, 20, 30

I had more trouble counting the words, than writing the story &#128516;
In the spirit of adventure, and in support of my friend's creative enterprise, I am offering:
_________________________________

<center>![van-gogh fractal pixabay.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmavck3mffwgqbfCxzKQKRSncSmr1zHbr4KVGP39f512AX/van-gogh%20fractal%20pixabay.jpg)</center>

### <center>COMPULSION</center>
_________________________

Out, damned spot, out!

I kept thinking of that line from *Macbeth*. My aunt was on her knees. She was vigorously scrubbing spotless floor panels. Her feet were bare, because she would never wear shoes on her precious oak floor.

Where was this spot, this ugly gash that tortured my aunt, haunted her dreams, tormented her sleep, and pulled her prematurely from slumber? Where was it?

A beam of sunlight streamed upon the high gloss floor, but I could see no blemish. My aunt gripped sandpaper in her gloved hand, and buffed until the beam of sunlight moved across the room and found a corner to illuminate. As my aunt scrubbed, glistening rivulets of perspiration formed in the crevices of her furrowed brow, which deepened to match the intensity of her crimsoned cheeks.

I moved closer, to try and see what she saw. Nothing was there, certainly nothing to warrant such focused dedication, such frantic expenditure of time and energy from this distraught woman. I wanted to intervene in her frenzied exercise, wanted to abort the fruitless activity, but I knew she would not welcome interference, would not, could not, tolerate a challenge. My aunt, you see, was eccentric, perhaps a bit mad--a family secret.

The inclination toward madness may be said to run in some families, certainly in our family, and we do not like to acknowledge this congenital flaw to outsiders.

My father was eccentric, I admit, as was his father before him. It's worrisome. I might be troubled, if I dwelt upon this. I recognize the tendency that ran strong in my father, and in his father, is the same that now afflicts my agitated aunt. As for me, it is true I check the stove, and check again before going out, and I wash my hands whenever I touch a light switch, or any suspect surface. But I have the ability to be discrete, to conceal my inclinations, and would never allow anyone else to witness these peccadilloes.

Awareness indicates rationality, they say. I am not like my poor aunt, who, despite the calloused knees cannot see unreasonableness in her behavior.

Stop! I want to shout it, but this would have no effect. Only through sheer physical exhaustion, or after complete darkness, will her labor mercifully end.

As I stand here talking to you, please know that I am conflicted, because I cooked this morning. A question nags in the back of my mind, a refrain, one that makes me uneasy, urges me to go check--did I turn the stove off? But I resist, because there kneels my aunt, compelled by obsession, and I will not let compulsion take hold of me.

She is beginning to wheeze, as exertion takes its toll, but apparently this does not diminish her will to clean. I suppress thoughts of the stove and continue to monitor my aunt--this done with love for her, and a dark foreboding that today's events might foreshadow my own future.

👍 curangel, abigail-dantes, pharesim, shaka, azircon, smartsteem, double-u, chriddi, sbi6, vieanna, tombstone, therealwolf, celfmagazine, soteyapanbot, bananafish, jznsamuel, geke, thevote, cub1, blockways, deirdyweirdy, agmoore, uwelang, matt-a, mathowl, gunthertopp, epicdice, whatisnew, camiloferrua, rivalzzz, milky-concrete, cyrusemerson, sergino, brisby, emrebeyler, marina007, jcbit, gwilberiol, macoolette, obvious, owasco, samve, lemony-cricket, bengy, spoke, cyemela, bashadow, petrvl, agmoore2, zeleiracordero, pagliozzo, sazbird, sooflauschig, blervin, smartmarket, ethandsmith, jeilinespinel, steemjet, thedailysneak, bluesniper, steemjetmedia, khasa, minerthreat, dexos2, and 145 others

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@heidegger · Nov 25 '19

$0.02

Thanks for sharing. Entertaining and well written.
Also: have my like because you managed to squeeze 'peccadilloes' into the story.

👍 agmoore, deirdyweirdy, agmoore2

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@agmoore · Nov 25 '19

Thank you for that delightful comment!  I see you are new here.  Sometimes it's easy to get lost.  My first blogs had 0 payouts.  But in time I made contacts and found a comfortable place here.
I'll try to keep track of you and give you a warm welcome.

👍 heidegger

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@heidegger · Nov 25 '19

That's a warm welcome already. Thank you. :)

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@tts · Nov 25 '19

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[![](https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png)](http://ec2-52-72-169-104.compute-1.amazonaws.com/agmoore__compulsion-a-story-written-for-tristancarax.mp3)
Brought to you by [@tts](https://steemit.com/tts/@tts/introduction). If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

👎 steemcleaner

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@tristancarax · Nov 25 '19

$0.03

I loved your intro! It made me smile and get all warm inside.

Wow! Another masterful piece. I love how you handled this challenge, @agmoore. I've enjoyed seeing sentences written in some unusual ways.

So much fun to read. Seems like the dude was trying to represses some issues and not face the cause of it. Maybe those *family secrets?*

👍 abigail-dantes

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@agmoore · Nov 25 '19

$0.03

Thank you!  I almost felt Edgar Allen Poe peaking over my shoulder.  I think I was channeling him :)
It's wonderful that you have initiative here, and that you keep writing, writing, writing.
Glad to be part of your undertaking.

👍 abigail-dantes

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@owasco · Nov 25 '19

$0.03

THAT IS AN AMAZING STORY!!!!! I was totally engaged from the first word to the last. I laughed, I worried, I became the speaker and wonder the same about myself now. 
Compulsions! Insanities! PECCADILLOS! 
I love every word of this story. I was afraid to try the task, but now I see it stretched your mind into contortions you didn't know you could do. I love this.

👍 abigail-dantes

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@agmoore · Nov 25 '19

$0.03

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Believe me, I do some 'checking' at home and a lot of hand washing.  So much of what we write is an exaggeration of something from our own lives. 

Do try the exercise.  The counting really is the hard part. But that's OK.  Every time we challenge ourselves,  we grow more brain cells. :))

I hope this contest takes off. @tristancarax has an interesting idea here.
Be well, @owasco.
Regards, AG

👍 abigail-dantes

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@owasco · Nov 25 '19

I'll try it next time. Now is way too late with the deadline tomorrow.

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2 replies

@carolkean · Nov 29 '19

Ditto that!! 
Took longer to count the words than write the story - I  believe it. The things we can accomplish when challenged outside our usual m.o. (and "Less is more" is a great m.o. for writers). 
I've been out of town and consumed with family-- in good way! -- and not oline as much.
*trying to catch up before the laptop battery dies...*

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@owasco · Nov 29 '19

I've missed you!

properties (22)

@josemalavem · Nov 25 '19

$0.05

Excellent story, @agmoore! Beyond complying with accounting rules and order of words or phrases (to what would never be given, and I admire you for it), I was attracted to and liked the story and how it is narrated. With subtlety you not only let the possibility of the aunt's madness (or psychic alteration) but also that of the narrator's protagonist. Good luck and greetings!

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👍 abigail-dantes, agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore · Nov 26 '19

$0.03

I appreciate the support from @Celfmagazine, and very much appreciate your comments.  I know you are an astute literary critique--glad I meet your standards.  As you say, this is not an exercise that would ordinarily attract me.  But @tristancarax is trying something new.  I think this is good for Steemit, and good for writers.  He is a dedicated writer, always learning and always trying to improve his craft.  So, I support him by suffering through all that counting :))
You have a great day, and thanks again. 
Regards, AG

👍 abigail-dantes

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@chriddi · Nov 26 '19

$0.22

That's a funny way to play with written language. You did very well with the implementation of the guidelines - it was fun to read your story!
Best regards,
Chriddi

👍 steemchiller, agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore2 · Nov 26 '19

$0.03

Thank you! I had a friend, now deceased, who was a brilliant poet.  She used to bend her talent to archaic forms, as a kind of verbal calisthenics.  It's good (but painful!!) to test our limits.
I appreciate your support and kind words. 
Warm regards, 
AG

👍 chriddi

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@deirdyweirdy · Nov 26 '19

$0.02

This is brilliant stuff, every word a gem, extraordinary given the restrictive formula you were writing to. 
It immediately put me in mind of a joke my father used to tell. At the time Zam-buck was used for treating anything from a scratch to a decapitation......
A ghost appears on that spot every night mother
Well rub that spot out duckie
you couldn't rub that spot out mother
Well get some Zam-buck and rub it in!

👍 agmoore, dustsweeper, agmoore2, tristancarax

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@agmoore2 · Nov 26 '19

Oh my, it's not often anything I do is described as 'brilliant', especially at home :) I love your ditty.  Laughed out loud with the last line.  
You are a riot:.."for treating anything from a scratch to a decapitation" 
Never heard of Zam-buck before.  According to Wikipedia,

 ["A 1908 report published in The British Medical Journal estimated that the cost of ingredients for a standard 0.6-ounce (17 g) box was one farthing, yet its retail price was 1s 1½ d, a markup of 5,200%, equivalent to a gross margin of more than 98%"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zam-Buk) !!

Thanks for the kind words.  Writing fiction for me is a risk (to my ego)...much 'safer' to write nonfiction essays.  
Have a great day.

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@abigail-dantes · Nov 26 '19

*MAGNIFICENT!* @agmoore, this is absolutely magnificent! 

The difficulty of the challenge, the idea behind the story, the words chosen, the respect it conveys towards peculiar behaviours and the madness that dots our lives! It's stunning. I could just go on and on you know? My favourite from you? Well, that would be a hard thing to say. But, I'm definitely infatuated by it :D 

Amazing!

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore · Nov 26 '19

$0.05

Dear Abigail,
Wow.  That is high praise.  This evolved rather quickly.  I came upon the challenge late, but wanted to support @tristancarax, so I set myself to the task.  At first it was all numbers and puzzle solving.  Then, as I met the characters (I know that sounds odd), the complexity of their situation became part of the story.  As is always the case, I mined life, as you perceive, for fiction.  So satisfying that this comes through.  
Of course, it's up to the reader to see, and you do :)
Thank you for encouraging me.  Easier to write the next story with this boost (sometimes confidence does lag).
Thanks for always enriching my day.
Affectionately,
*Your* fan,
AG

👍 abigail-dantes, agmoore, agmoore2

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@tristancarax · Nov 26 '19

My curiosity about what the writing process was like for you, @agmoore, is being fulfilled by stopping by and checking out the comments that people left.

I'm so happy to see the massive amount of support you have around you. This makes my day.

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1 reply

@agmoore · Nov 27 '19

Oh, no!  I haven't had morning coffee yet and just upvoted my own comment :(  It's like drinking and driving==voting without coffee.  
Wasted two votes. Thought I was voting for Tristancarax 
Have to finish that coffee before I do anything worse

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@zeleiracordero · Nov 27 '19

I take my hat off to your ingenuity in creating this particularly difficult story to carry not only because of the restriction of words, but also because of the psychological penetration of the characters. Excellent, @agmoore!

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore2 · Nov 27 '19

Thank you so much for coming by, and for that high praise!  You are a great writer--meeting your standards is wonderful.
Have a great day, @zeleiracordero

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@whatisnew · Nov 27 '19

Wow!  What an amazing story so lovingly told and that last paragraph gutted me.  You sure do like a challenge and I admire you for answering the call.  All of those numbers and mandates just made my head spin and want to run away.  You and your writing talent amazes me.  *Applause with a standing ovation!*

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore · Nov 27 '19

Hello friend,
Made my head spin, also.  I don't think I ever made my way, successfully, to the end of a long division problem :))
However, I do test my modest abilities for friends, and that's @tristancarax.
Thank you for your kind words,  @whatisnew. Have a wonderful day!

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@owasco · Nov 27 '19

Where are the @curie curators?! This is brilliant! Stupendous! @upmewhale?

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore · Nov 27 '19

&#128519;
You are kind...I'm happy. Good friends came by and liked my writing.  Wonderful feeling.

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@bananafish · Nov 28 '19

https://i.postimg.cc/W4cVZVDT/BANANAFISH-logo.png

You have garnered support from the @bananafish community. We appreciate you're fine work and hope that you will continue to produce awesome content for us to feast our minds on.

👍 agmoore, agmoore2

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@agmoore2 · Nov 29 '19

Thak you, @bananafish.  Hope all is well with you.

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