The Ultimate Guide for STEEM and Steemit by ats-david

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steemit · @ats-david · (edited)
$97.49
The Ultimate Guide for STEEM and Steemit
![steemit_guide.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmb8tvkj6TAGmWhrM2EwqXqtvhFzH8iE2MVsqmDcUoGkP6/steemit_guide.jpg)

<br />

<hr>

<center><h1>This is the only guide you'll *ever* need for STEEM and Steemit!</h1></center>

<hr>

### What do I do?

<br />

Well...this is a social media site.  You post stuff that you want to post.  You vote on stuff that you like.  You comment on stuff if you want to engage in a discussion or leave a brief message.

### So, it's like a social media site?

<br />

Ugh...

Yes.

### What is STEEM?

<br />

That's the funny money that you earn for doing social media stuff on Steemit.  You can convert it to Bitcoin, if you want.  From there, you have many options for "cashing out."  Google it.

### How does all of this work?

<br />

Is it really that important?  Will you understand it anyway?  Just know that you can post, comment, and vote on stuff, then cash out your earnings.  When you buy a car, do you really need to know how the alternator or the fuel injection works, or do you just start it up and drive it off the lot?

<hr>

# And that's it.  The Ultimate Guide for STEEM and Steemit.

<br />

Now...*__where's my $100???__*

<sub>Seriously though. It's getting ridiculous...*again.*</sub>

<hr>

<center><h3>Content Status: *OBVIOUSLY-SLAYED!*</h3></center>

<br />

<center><a href="http://www.steemimg.com/image/OQFVK"><img src="http://www.steemimg.com/images/2017/02/27/ats_content_slayer8f72e.md.jpg" alt="ats_content_slayer8f72e.jpg" border="0" /></a></center>

<center>Image courtesy of @mynameisbrian</center>

<hr>

<center><b>Follow me: @ats-david</b></center>
๐Ÿ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 184 others
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vote details (248)
@meesterboom · 
Yup, it's all right here!!
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@ats-david · 
This will be available for download after 7 days. You'll be able to hold a physical copy in your hands for the low price of $100 SBDs. I will begin taking pre-orders soon. Don't miss out on the opportunity to have this valuable information forever! (Until it physically decays.)
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@meesterboom · 
I shall order many copies for my extravagant tomb!!
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@mammasitta · (edited)
$0.25
Didn't we have those kind of posts a million of times. I wonder if people get confused on google. Anyways, Thanks much for teaching me more today. Can't ever be enough. Right? cute post though about that topic:)
๐Ÿ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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@ats-david ·
$0.06
>Didn't we have those kind of posts a million of times.

Yes. But after a couple of months have passed, the opportunity arises to milk the easy rewards again. Get in while the gettin' is good! I encourage everyone to do their own post about a STEEM/it guide. No sense in letting the same people have all of the fun.
๐Ÿ‘  , , , ,
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@mammasitta · 
I get it! Good luck!
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@ats-david · 
In fact... Let this serve as an announcement for a new contest. 

# Steemit Guide Contest!

<br />

Share your best Steemit Guide with us and tag it with #sg-contest as the first tag. The most entertaining one, as judged by me, will receive 25 STEEM from me. 

I like humor, so a serious guide will not score well. Anyone who wants to contribute to the reward fund is welcome to do so.  Good luck!
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@nonameslefttouse · 
# *Thank you for this information!*
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@ats-david · 
You're welcome. I tried to be as concise as possible. I mean...it's pretty self-explanatory, but some people are easily confused.
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@nonameslefttouse · 
### *I was easily confused until today!*
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@ocrdu · 
I'm still holding out for The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bluffing Your Way in Steemit in a Nutshell for Dummies in 21 Days.
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@ats-david · 
Oh...did I already tell you about that work in progress?
๐Ÿ‘  ,
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@technocomanche ·
$0.26
(ุ› ยกโŠฅI dsษษนฦƒ ส‡,uop โˆฉ วsnษฦ†q ส‡snลฟ ษŸษŸnส‡S ฦƒษืŸโ„ฒ uฤฑษฦƒโˆ€ ษนวสŒฦŽ ษนวสŒวN โˆฉ puโˆ€
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@acidyo · 
>When you buy a car, do you really need to know how the alternator or the fuel injection works, or do you just start it up and drive it off the lot?

True, I think in the future users won't even need to know what the actual token is called that is being used to power up the platform. As long as they know its real money and real money they can use to send fee-less anywhere and to anyone.
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@jamesbrown · (edited)
$0.50
# The Ultimate Guide to Making Great Comments on STEEMIT Posts!!!

**Tricks and Tips to massaging the poster's ego:**

*(for novices who aren't used to sucking internet cock)*  Say things like: "Wow, great job!" or "Awesome sauce, bro :)"  

*(for serious blogger dick suckers)* Say things like: "Are you God?  No.  Seriously.  That has to be the most intelligent, well written piece that has ever graced the internet, paper or stone...like, really, you've forever changed my life with your expert prose and unmatched wisdom." or, simply, "I want to have your babies [suck your dick]!!!"  

**Tricks and Tips to getting YOUR dick sucked, as a commenter!!!**

Be a whale.
๐Ÿ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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@gutzofter ·
$0.28
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@jamesbrown ·
$0.05
Hahaha... nice!

See what I did there?  I deflected your comment into a compliment of my own with expert use of my own laughter, pause, and then compliment.  Another option would have been to reply with a clever joke -- the quicker the better...unless you do it in a matter of seconds after having the comment show up, that just makes you look like a desperate chump.  

The sweet spot is about 3 minutes for witty replies.  That's enough time for a fast typer to not give a shit for a solid 2 minutes before he lifts his lazy, I-don't-give-a-shit ass off of his sofa to type the I-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think-about-it, no effort, yet exceptionally witty reply.

The first approach makes me appear fun and approachable (works better for women on men or good lookin' dudes on gay dudes).  The second shows that I'm witty and perhaps a bit of an intellectual challenge (this works better for men on women -- the cornier the joke the better, as long as you throw a ;) at the end of it, otherwise it better be really good and a :P might be more appropriate).

Now I wait for the inevitable response from you, which, of course, is an upvote and a follow...bro :)

I really should be charging Steem for these tips :P
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@gutzofter · 
> What is STEEM?

That is the thingamajigs that you transfer to @gutzofter. He will explain all about it, after he then transfers it to @blocktrades
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@ats-david ·
$0.05
Also transferable to @ats-david!
๐Ÿ‘  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@gutzofter · 
Dibs
properties (22)
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@edje ·
$0.03
How on earth didn't this post already reached 100$. Something is not right!
๐Ÿ‘  
properties (23)
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created2017-05-03 03:50:42
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vote details (1)
@ats-david · 
I know! It's a *travesty!*
๐Ÿ‘  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@solarguy ·
$0.05
https://s17.postimg.org/xtp6iw2xr/0e57040b53affe9550e4aaee73c1d7bb_1.jpg
Knowing how Steemit functions behind the scenes will only break more hearts.
๐Ÿ‘  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ats-david ·
$0.05
Yeah...I think the last thing we want is for everyone to understand exactly how STEEM is made. It would make so many people question all of their life choices.
๐Ÿ‘  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
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