Comedyopenmic Week5: First Rant(Entry) by belemo

comedyopenmic · @belemo · Mar 16 '18

$1.03

Comedyopenmic Week5: First Rant(Entry)

This evening I saw two goats having sex right in front of the entrance to my house and it made me feel unaccomplished in all sorts of ways. First of all there's fucking goats (literally) having more fun than me on a Friday evening and for what its worth, the make goat obviously has more game than me on account of the fact that the bloody goat he's fucking keep running away from me.
 ![image](https://img.esteem.ws/wzhp69v6dx.jpg)
I really hate being a bachelor, @karensuestudios posted a video on dtube or was it dlive and among the hordes of shit she said, she mentioned how @jerrybanfield is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure and that got me into an even deeper pit of depression; this man makes thousands of dollars on steemit and sucks his own dick while doing it? What a guy!!
In some positive news, I've recently learned about my ability to wank and write at the same time (in your face Jerry) so I'd like to be known as the WW man from now on.
Not one to leave you with blueballs like the last chick that had enough daddy issues to spend the night at my place, I'll close with something relating to my favorite steemian @jerrybanfield, yes he's not aware of it yet but he's going to invest a fat stack of money on my fully automated toilets with finger print and butt cheek scanners to make the shitting experience more exciting. What s guy!!!

PS: @adsactly I'm not trying to seem too desperate or anything but could you please give me an upvote already? Oh and God bless @good-karma and @esteemapp for making steemit way asier to access

By the way, I nominate @samirich because he's a Manchester United fan so he's obviously a twat and @topdollar because he wanks more often than a male rhesus monkey staring at baboon butt(don't ask me how I know this)

👍 dj123, comedyopenmic, take5, msp-lovebot, rastaufik10, acolucky, bitfiend, profanereviews, rajonx, laritheghost, kayceefresh, kcester, gloriousstar, ufuomagift34, ayfcot, supreme312, oilprinzz, percyhamburg, divergreg, sportsconnect, sandybee, babashege, ifekafourlimit, ebube, more4less, praisev, louislawren, beakesh, favour12, onyi, mhizjoyce, kamsi, urchice, oredebby, mmaberyl, diamondoreva, dimaro, chibansky, monoindustrias, blogger-funda, otto11, sunshinecoin, zionwealth, kathryn95, monilovebaby, theagriculturist, kaylog, harruadu, abdullahall, brightex, marysent, atare, eprolific, dangerousangel, murad06, riteshstark, azharmaulana, dexter24, olusolaemmanuel, sissyjill

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@comedyopenmic · Mar 17 '18

$0.65

Man I knew @jerrybanfield sucks, but I didn't know he could stoop that low- that's disgusting and impressive in the same time ! 

Nice post - concise with a lot of really good laughs !

👍 comedyopenmic, dj123

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@dj123 · Mar 17 '18

>Man I knew @jerrybanfield sucks, but I didn't know he could stoop that low- that's disgusting and impressive in the same time !

yes...our witnesses are impressive suckers or is it blowers? learn something new about Steemit everyday I always say, I think i fulfilled my quota with that bit right there

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@comedyopenmic · Mar 17 '18

Haha

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@bitfiend · Mar 17 '18

Looks like they're into bondage... I posted a [tip](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@bitfiend/comedyopenmic-week-5-first-entry-advice-from-a-cuban-response-to-belemo-s-sexual-frustration) for you :P

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@dj123 · Mar 17 '18

👍 👍 & half - @belemo, you blow me away..... no-blowjob

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@belemo · Mar 17 '18

$0.02

That can be arranged if you ask nicely 😂

👍 dj123

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@dj123 · Mar 17 '18

well...pretty please then ;)

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@acolucky · Mar 18 '18

You went from goat fucking to J. Banfield to vote begging . Some good laughs. Good times!

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@belemo · Mar 19 '18

Its a rant after all😁

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@samirich · Mar 22 '18

You want me to start fucking goats now? Whats going on here man?

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@belemo · Mar 22 '18

It doesn't have to be goats, I hear poultry are sexy this time of the year

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