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<h1><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17861764_1934208780199276_3972908310621519441_n.jpg?oh=660e3ce8f389be883546abecb04ef1f9&oe=5994338C" width="800" height="533"/></h1>
<h1>Relationship between family</h1>
<p><br></p>
<p><strong>"Because it's my family."</strong></p>
<p>Many Korean, especially most Korean men say like that about an unconditional response for their family. </p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>If you ask about an improper behave, a sacrifice, an incomprehensible words for their family, they will answer, "They are my family." The answer seems to be static for their mother most of all. Traditionally, most mother's sacrifice for the family is very respectable, unconditional. It looks like an expensive service without direct reward. Korean mother's love for family, especially for sons is absolutely great. However, if someone asks me, " Is it good?" I'll say, "I don't think so because it is sometimes too much."</p>
<p>I think some serious chronic troubles came from Korean mother's love for children even if there are positive effects because of the love. I think there will be a social effect and psychological cause as well but I limit to the topic. The mother's love led to feeling hard with decision making, conflict between mother in law and daughter in law, dependent life, weakness in society and so forth. Conflicts between mother in law and daughter in law is serious in South Korea. I'll talk about the issue today.</p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17952903_1934208820199272_3416777073267489952_n.jpg?oh=7b60ded46b4fb24da798f3d1f97213bf&oe=5986EFD5" width="552" height="363"/></p>
<h2>Conflicts with the in-laws</h2>
<p>I think conflicts between mother in law and daughter in law maybe will exist in South Korea as long as a cockroach breathe. More serious is conflicts between mother in law and son in law are also happening now. We live in rough world. Many young people give up to get a job and feel so hard to find a job. Getting a house after marring is almost impossible. Not a few young married couples begin their marriage life in their parents' house now. Some people live with their parents because of losing a job or money.</p>
<h3>Conflicts between mother in law and daughter in law</h3>
<p>Long time ago, like in the 15th century, mothers were on the top of the family except her husband. Mothers controlled family and the house because her husband was busy outside. I think there were levels in the family. Father was like a king, mother on the 2nd level, the first son on the 3rd level. Since then, nothing much changed. A father worked for money. A mother managed with the money. The reward of their efforts should be taken first by the first son. Most parents thought the success of their first son bring wealthy to the family. Of course, other sons were concerned than daughters for everything as well. The power of mother became more powerful now.</p>
<p><strong>A mother was tired because of indifferent husband and supporting children.</strong> The mother needs a reward for that later. There's an irony. When her son gets married, the reward is demanded of her daughter in law. Korean women have a question,"Why a man try to be a devoted son and request his wife a dutiful attitude to his mother after marriage?" Not a few Korean men ask directly his bride-to-be to be a nice daughter in law as an important proviso as well as a good wife. Even a man asks like that, a woman who falls in love mostly doesn't run away.</p>
<p>Especially, when a mother has only a son, troubles can be serious for a daughter in law. The mother's son should be a husband, a boyfriend, a guardian or just a mother's son according to a family situation. The daughter in law must deal or fight with her mother in law to take her husband. The mother in law talks for everything like having baby, foods, her son's health, organization in refrigerator or drawers, cleaning and spending money. If the mother in law is very mean to her, the daughter in law's life can be miserable. The son mostly is side with his mother or pretend not to know. If the man's mother in law meddles in his affairs including his privacy like that, he will run away immediately. </p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17951982_1934208893532598_3459630136003909458_n.jpg?oh=89ba9e72606199a05adfac818ff23caa&oe=5980526F" width="638" height="407"/></p>
<h3>Korean women should take care of almost every events in her family in law after marriage.</h3>
<p>According to a report I heard several years ago, many divorces went after a traditional holiday with family in law. Many women divorce because of conflicts with their in-laws because sometimes daughter in law's sacrifice is requested from all of the family in law.</p>
<p>I think you know the word 'helicopter mom'. Mothers' efforts added to her children in various fields these days. I know mothers are trying to give more love and good things to their children. Nevertheless, I hope Korean mothers admit that their children should be independent materially and mentally to live well in this world. There is no mother outside. Mothers have to be free by themselves because mothers' sacrifice is given to their daughters in law and the daughters from age to age as a traditional bounden duty. Korean mother must stop being a super woman, a super mother. Troubles between the women don't disappear if they don't change. I hope they try to look about what happens when mothers get free. </p>
<h3>Conflicts between mother in law and son in law</h3>
<p>People really struggle to live these days. There are not enough jobs. Social welfare just looks like a word in a dictionary. Money disappeared from wallets. Finally, it brought a situation that even married couples started to live with parents. There's a saying, '<em>Better</em> <em>to</em> <em>starve</em> <em>than</em> <em>live</em> <em>with</em> your <em>in</em>-<em>laws</em>.' It became an old story. Most reasons men live in the wife's parents' house is for saving money or living until getting a job but living with his in-laws isn't easy. In that case, mother in law dislikes her incompetent son in law. Mother in law hates her son in law that seems to get her daughter much trouble. Finally, the mother in law gets angry or complains a lot about all of her son in law's behaviors at home as time goes by. If son in law and mother in law ignore each other, it finally goes whole hog.</p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17951582_1934213386865482_8914238131126430817_n.jpg?oh=607d72435723cbe048deb0b00d71f1a2&oe=599294A4" width="505" height="343"/></p>
<p>When a mother wants to live her daughter's next door, troubles also can happen. If the mother still behaves as a helicopter mother for her married daughter, son in law will be uncomfortable. That kind of Korean mother makes foods, supports raising children and meddles in daughter's marriage life. The son in law can't take a rest even on Sunday.</p>
<p>I heard the word <a href="http://endic.naver.com/enkrIdiom.nhn?idiomId=f0ac518ea6ee44e79d5b338002e8f02a&query=%EA%B3%A0%EB%B6%80%EA%B0%88%EB%93%B1">daughter-in-law and mother-in-law conflicts</a> only exists in South Korea. I'm not sure of it. Do you have it in your country? I think the good Korean word 'Jeong' between people in South Korea began thanks to mother's love. Jeong contains lots of meaning like love, affection, sharing, kind-hearted, warm heart and attachment. However, too much the feeling for family caused one of reasons of conflicts unfortunately. When people get married, their parents mostly say, " If you two live well together, we are just enough good and happy." When a married son or a daughter is hard because of parents, parents say, " We did all for you." If parents are requested for less concern, the parents say, "How dare you talk to us that way?" Keeping the balance between parents and spouse must be very difficult.</p>
<p>Women in South Korea call her family in law <strong>Si-world</strong> because the word of family in law starts Si in Korean like Si-uh-muh-ni(mother in law), Si-arh-buh-ji(father in law) There is saying, 'Don't want to eat spinach.' as a joke because spinach stats Si in Korean. It shows how much Korean women feel uncomfortable and hard or suffer from the marriage with in-laws. </p>
<p><strong>To explain the conflicts in South Korea, I had little worse examples. It is true that there are many good relationships between mother in law and daughter in law / son in law. I think the people have the relationship well might try to understand each other constantly. The gravity of the cases differs. Why don't a husband or a wife just stops an expression 'Put up with you' on saying each other ? We also need an objective judgement for family woes. Parents, you too hot for us. If we say to our parents in order to continue the marriage life, do you think it is wrong and too rude? It may be a start to find a solution about the conflicts. Any start for being a good family will need even if there's no guarantee to produce good results. </strong></p>
<p>(image source: naver)</p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15232253_1855580511395437_2927404053905043409_n.jpg?oh=c1620512db222812c2a8540bfac91828&oe=59535F2B" width="900" height="19"/></p>
<p>Hope to share with all married couples who have troubles with in-laws, prospective bride and groom as well.</p>
<p>Photo Story by @bontonstory</p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15380381_1868133240140164_6103713677366859462_n.jpg?oh=c5ed329cbd9a0cf3f3aab43609bf74e8&oe=59506526" width="900" height="500"/></p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16387227_1894160767537411_7530337026484838118_n.jpg?oh=2cef48fd642c322ba98c31ff65a0653d&oe=594FEDBA" width="900" height="300"/></p>
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