It is a very easy contest to join, they make it a pretty low bar which given present company seems like a good choice LOL   Just kidding of course.  You are a prince among men.  To enter the contest the biggest thing is to make a funny, original post.  You have that covered.  Then the fiddly bits:  Edit your title to include "Comedy Open Mic Round 14" (the current round) after your title; make one of your tags #comedyopenmic; and nominate two other unfortunate souls to participate (just edit that in at the end of your post - along the lines of "I nominate @sucker1 and @sucker2 for Comedy Open Mic".  I could see @chood fitting in well with the comedy open mic scene, for instance.   You don't have to do all this of course, you have a perfectly wonderful post as it is.  But if you DO enter, you will get a lot more eyes on your post as the comedy folks check out all the entries, you will (not guaranteed but in your case as this is a hilarious post I can pretty much guaranty it) get an upvote from the @comedyopenmic community account, and you are eligible for several different prizes.  Plus it is just a good community of funny people who give very few shits and can get behind posting like this.  Cheers - Carl