 I couldn't sleep more so here I am trying to seize the small amount of days that God is giving me. I just wished that I do not need to sleep because it feels like I am wasting my time just by resting alone. But indeed we are just using a third of our lives sleeping considering that we only have a short time to live here on earth. It is quite unfair if I would think about it because I do want to live a thousand year more but again it will end too regardless of more time we would spend existing. <center>https://media.tenor.co/images/ba0f2db720ceba092216f1d8afe58229/tenor.gif</center> [Source](https://media.tenor.co/images/ba0f2db720ceba092216f1d8afe58229/tenor.gif) It is also unfair living long with hordes of debilitating illness which makes me think sometimes why me? Why I am not dying? And also to think that the reality that my parents are aging makes me worried, what if I outlive them because they are both have passed the ripe old age of 70. I am also getting old and I am starting to feel embarrassed of having to be assisted like a child by my parents at the dialysis center. I feel that my life have stopped at the age where I first have started my dialysis. But what can I do? I am immobile and that is a reality, I cannot walk normally and that is the bitter reality that I have to accept. <center>https://media.tenor.co/images/8b78d33654192806c729702f10fdaefc/tenor.gif</center> [Source](https://media.tenor.co/images/8b78d33654192806c729702f10fdaefc/tenor.gif) <center></center> [Source]((https://media1.giphy.com/media/NzdeXbc5wyrfy/200_d.webp))
| post_id | 72,003,079 |
|---|---|
| author | cryptopie |
| permlink | dear-diary-the-bitter-realities-that-i-have-to-accept |
| category | health |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["health","life","blog","busy","dialysis"],"image":["https:\/\/cdn.steemitimages.com\/DQmYHC4QGh46AWAvN78Zr4DBfHYoQbV2RBGF8onRuQ5zL9V\/Screenshot_20190207-164038_1.jpg","https:\/\/media.tenor.co\/images\/ba0f2db720ceba092216f1d8afe58229\/tenor.gif","https:\/\/media.tenor.co\/images\/8b78d33654192806c729702f10fdaefc\/tenor.gif","https:\/\/cdn.steemitimages.com\/DQmbkJL5fJr2Wr1SuBrvCiBp6FkZPi8RyStikdzD8D4EaxC\/reality.gif"],"links":["https:\/\/media.tenor.co\/images\/ba0f2db720ceba092216f1d8afe58229\/tenor.gif","https:\/\/media.tenor.co\/images\/8b78d33654192806c729702f10fdaefc\/tenor.gif","(https:\/\/media1.giphy.com\/media\/NzdeXbc5wyrfy\/200_d.webp)"],"app":"steemit\/0.1","format":"markdown"} |
| created | 2019-03-25 07:37:30 |
| last_update | 2019-03-25 07:42:33 |
| depth | 0 |
| children | 2 |
| net_rshares | 4,087,599,390,265 |
| last_payout | 2019-04-01 07:37:30 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 2.017 SBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.562 SBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| promoted | 0.000 SBD |
| body_length | 1,828 |
| author_reputation | 1,668,100,537,200,055 |
| root_title | "Dear Diary: The Bitter Realities That I Have To Accept" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
| percent_steem_dollars | 0 |
| author_curate_reward | "" |
| voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| bleepcoin | 0 | 214,032,062,871 | 50% | ||
| teamsteem | 0 | 1,131,014,585 | 2% | ||
| thecryptofiend | 0 | 15,005,219,250 | 13% | ||
| kaylinart | 0 | 186,927,048,373 | 100% | ||
| coininstant | 0 | 68,699,779,489 | 80% | ||
| maarnio | 0 | 25,920,490,666 | 8% | ||
| natubat | 0 | 40,365,039,426 | 45% | ||
| mangos | 0 | 622,599,088,874 | 17% | ||
| newhope | 0 | 1,779,418,139,977 | 21% | ||
| prime-cleric | 0 | 7,873,436,001 | 5% | ||
| nicewoody69 | 0 | 4,429,509,274 | 100% | ||
| pepe.maya | 0 | 79,437,177,176 | 75% | ||
| tremendospercy | 0 | 14,060,266,807 | 10% | ||
| jraysteem | 0 | 3,681,085,379 | 50% | ||
| world-travel-pro | 0 | 56,127,391,197 | 20% | ||
| kennyroy | 0 | 309,325,504 | 15% | ||
| coquiunlimited | 0 | 3,982,848,951 | 30% | ||
| leeuw | 0 | 120,901,852,128 | 75% | ||
| crimsonclad | 0 | 34,709,345,934 | 7% | ||
| gabbrielle | 0 | 1,726,645,308 | 50% | ||
| nezbong | 0 | 43,476,694,408 | 100% | ||
| discordiant | 0 | 1,473,635,533 | 7% | ||
| sunnylife | 0 | 5,759,795,582 | 30% | ||
| geetasnani | 0 | 6,032,234,902 | 100% | ||
| syedumair | 0 | 41,243,574,296 | 61% | ||
| nuthman | 0 | 358,138,409,393 | 50% | ||
| recan | 0 | 583,293,615 | 50% | ||
| cryptoeagle | 0 | 7,698,783,988 | 30% | ||
| pingcess | 0 | 994,937,372 | 10% | ||
| gheghenrv | 0 | 7,002,858,475 | 50% | ||
| dawnsheree | 0 | 24,335,711,324 | 50% | ||
| lucky-sable | 0 | 98,612,144 | 100% | ||
| mahbubrobin | 0 | 1,277,069,075 | 100% | ||
| blinks | 0 | 1,399,179,097 | 100% | ||
| bohol | 0 | 479,701,351 | 90% | ||
| sitiaishah | 0 | 5,607,100,434 | 100% | ||
| steemian-sniper | 0 | 190,915,970 | 100% | ||
| abrahamcera | 0 | 441,152,241 | 50% | ||
| saidaplc | 0 | 371,193,225 | 100% | ||
| ireneblessing | 0 | 20,434,318,387 | 100% | ||
| gungho | 0 | 119,120,940,070 | 50% | ||
| sbi5 | 0 | 17,831,978,302 | 5.44% | ||
| gustavomonraz | 0 | 9,583,685,103 | 100% | ||
| steemersayu907 | 0 | 19,670,744,049 | 15% | ||
| drisers | 0 | 17,583,746,218 | 15% | ||
| blind-spot | 0 | 4,817,444,424 | 3% | ||
| phatima | 0 | 3,691,688,671 | 7% | ||
| mgranja | 0 | 28,663,703,877 | 5% | ||
| concreteshallows | 0 | 538,803,603 | 100% | ||
| bigmoneyman | 0 | 416,133,961 | 2.5% |
I'm sorry! I can't imagine what you are going through with your specific circumstances. I know I can relate to the feeling of "Why Me". When going through something tough. That's the thing though. Is life isn't fair. It's truly not fair that you are stuck being so ill. It's never fair that we get stuck in specific circumstances that are out of our control. Sadly you were one of the unlucky ones that got what you did. But it doesn't mean you can't try and make the absolute best of it. And I see your effort here posting constantly every day. I hope things get so much better for you!
| post_id | 72,004,658 |
|---|---|
| author | kaylinart |
| permlink | re-cryptopie-dear-diary-the-bitter-realities-that-i-have-to-accept-20190325t082837470z |
| category | health |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["health"],"app":"steemit\/0.1"} |
| created | 2019-03-25 08:28:36 |
| last_update | 2019-03-25 08:28:36 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 1 |
| net_rshares | 183,283,002,237 |
| last_payout | 2019-04-01 08:28:36 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.090 SBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.029 SBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| promoted | 0.000 SBD |
| body_length | 591 |
| author_reputation | 391,040,934,615,502 |
| root_title | "Dear Diary: The Bitter Realities That I Have To Accept" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
| percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |
| author_curate_reward | "" |
| voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| cryptopie | 0 | 183,283,002,237 | 50% |
Yeah @kaylinart it is a nightmare turned into reality that I have to swallow and all I have to do is to be braver and endure more and wait and hope. I am just fortunate that at least I have online friends like you that are selfless, supports, and understands me and I do appreciate it and thankful with all my heart. God Bless you Ma'am and all others here at steem.
| post_id | 72,006,020 |
|---|---|
| author | cryptopie |
| permlink | re-kaylinart-re-cryptopie-dear-diary-the-bitter-realities-that-i-have-to-accept-20190325t085655466z |
| category | health |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["health"],"users":["kaylinart"],"app":"steemit\/0.1"} |
| created | 2019-03-25 08:56:57 |
| last_update | 2019-03-25 08:56:57 |
| depth | 2 |
| children | 0 |
| net_rshares | 0 |
| last_payout | 2019-04-01 08:56:57 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
| promoted | 0.000 SBD |
| body_length | 366 |
| author_reputation | 1,668,100,537,200,055 |
| root_title | "Dear Diary: The Bitter Realities That I Have To Accept" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
| percent_steem_dollars | 0 |