<center>![lighter .jpg](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/cryptopie/tQ9U33QU-lighter20.jpg)</center>

I might try and sleep this evening until morning because once again I feel nauseated for some reason. I ought to vomit this time around if it would not go away. I was able to eat normally today finishing off the rice that my mother had gave me because I do like the viand that came with it even though she cooked it in not the way I wanted, it lacked coconut cream.

I also took some iron supplement and maybe that was the factor that I am close to vomiting this evening already. I did slept a while after eating and in the evening after waking up I am already nauseated.

But I drank some coffee and ate a piece of bread hoping that it will go away but the awful feeling just persisted. Unfortunately maybe I will not be able to sleep because I drank coffee.

Nothing much interests me in doing now except to write this journal. But watching videos and listening to my favorite music also doesn't entertain me. It is just not good to do other things if you feel trash inside.

I hope that I can be able to improve my well-being soon. I have to get tested for iPTH so that I can determine if I can taper-off the use of my Cinacalcet so that I can have an improved appetite and well-being. It is a torture to live like this where a basic function of your body is taken away and at the same time leaving you feeling miserable in the other hand.

Anyway I just have to make sure that I can sustain my medical complications if I would undergo my Parathyroidectomy. It will be a bad thing if I would be left bankrupt while requiring a longer hospital stay and I am expecting the worse even though I feel that it is just worth it to die and gamble my life for a something better rather than to endure this kind of condition and situation that I am dealing with every passing day.