Pondering the Challenges of Life: Being FIRST vs. Being BEST by denmarkguy

life · @denmarkguy · Jul 11 '18

$8.89

Pondering the Challenges of Life: Being FIRST vs. Being BEST

<html>
<p>Sometimes we find the insights that characterize the “<em>Metaphors for Our Lives</em>” in unusual and unexpected places.&nbsp;</p>
<p>During a conversation yesterday with our houseguest — who also happens to work in the mental/emotional healing field — we got onto the topic of “<em>what blocks have stood between you and having the life you want?</em>”</p>
<p>Depending on your perspective and way of thinking, that can be a pretty basic — are a pretty deep — question.</p>
<h2><em>Going Deeper</em></h2>
<p>In this particular case, everyone was “<em>slightly under the influence,</em>” so the digging was deeper.</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/MHUIqcc.jpg" alt="Flower" /><br />
<em>Calendula</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>I have often told myself that I have "<em>done pretty well,</em>" while also periodically complaining that it seems much easier for other people to navigate life, compared to how it feels to me.</p>
<p>Self pity?</p>
<p>Maybe not...</p>
<p>Out of our conversation came the realization that my biggest block has always been that I have always been a really <em>good and effective</em> problem solver, but I tend to be <em>very slow</em>. And we tend to live in a world where “<em>being first</em>” is typically valued higher than “<em>being right</em>” or “<em>being best</em>” at things.</p>
<p>It's even true as we look around at popular culture... our many issues with such things as "<em>fake news</em>" can often be traced to the importance of "<em>being first</em>" which allows little time for fact checking.</p>
<h2><em>Looking backwards to childhood...</em></h2>
<p>I hadn’t really thought much about it, but going all the way back to grade school, this trend has had a major impact on my life.</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/6UzI8CD.jpg" alt="Flower" /><br />
<em>That's BRIGHT!</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>I remember being a 9-year old in class, and I would work my way to the correct answer to some question the teacher would have asked, but by the time I <em>had</em> that… several others had already answered the question incorrectly, or incompletely… and the class had moved on.</p>
<p>My otherwise correct answer had been rendered <em>irrelevant</em>, due to the passage of time.</p>
<p>In time, I "<em>learned</em>" to internalize that my opinion had <em>no value</em>, because — of course — it was never actually <em>heard, used or applied</em>. &nbsp;</p>
<p>In my adult work life, I can now look back and see that my early “<em>troubled</em>” employment history and my blocks to advancement were inevitably characterized by the fact that most situations I found myself in required “<em>band-aid fixes NOW</em>” rather than “<em>doing it right PERMANENTLY.</em>”</p>
<p>Being "<em>quick on my feet</em>" was never my thing.</p>
<h2><em>Having a Slow Brain?</em></h2>
<p>Much as I might have wished otherwise, I don’t really have a brain that works on a “<em>let’s throw the first thing we can find at the wall and see if it sticks.</em>”</p>
<p>That part of my life is simply "<em>a fact.</em>"</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/pVBGQ2D.jpg" alt="View" /><br />
<em>Finding inner peace...</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>But then we go on to tell ourselves "<em>stories</em>" the characterize our facts as good, bad, indifferent, useless, great and a host of other things.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Being a generally “<em>slow thinker</em>” has often also manifested simply as something I’d — loosely translated from Danish — would call “<em>getting too late to market.</em>”</p>
<p>I might have the <em>best</em> and <em>most effective</em> solution to something, but by the time I discover there is some problem or challenge I can apply that to, 300 people have already applied their bits and pieces, and the original requester is too tired from sifting through all the rubble to sit down and consider something that arrives several days after the initial pulse of “<em>me first!</em>” responses.</p>
<p>I was reminded of that yesterday, as I crafted a very long and detailed response on a post about things that would help Steemit going forward... only to realize that the post was several days old, and my response would be somewhere towards the "<em>unenthusiastic bottom</em>" of a list of 300 previous replies.&nbsp;</p>
<p>In the back of my mind, I could hear echoes of my own negative self-talk whispering about my "<em>uselessness</em>" again, because however excellent (or not) my answer might be, it was just <em>too slow and too late</em>.</p>
<h2><em>Our Thoughts Shape Our Lives</em></h2>
<p>One of the reasons I have chosen work for myself for the past 20-odd years is that it has always taken me “<em>too long</em>” to be effective in a culture where “<em>being first</em>” is more important than quality and thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/WE304JI.jpg" alt="Flowers" /><br />
<em>The tiniest flowers</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>My thoughts (true, false, or otherwise) about myself and my "<em>effectiveness</em>" in life informed that choice.</p>
<p>I was simply tired of "<em>failing</em>" in a public environment, so I "<em>removed myself</em>" from the situation and sinmply put myself somewhere where the perception of "<em>failing</em>" would no longer be an issue.</p>
<p>Effective Coping? Cowardice?&nbsp;</p>
<p>Perhaps it is not necessary to put a "<em>label</em>" on it; I simply recognize that it "<em>is.</em>"</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I choose to focus on "<em>slow moving</em>" activities with few urgent deadlines!</p>
<p>I this sort of a "<em>Ulog</em>?" I don't know... I'm just going to fling it out there under "<em>random musings.</em>"</p>
<p><em><strong>As always, I appreciate dialogue and engagement! So please leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!</strong></em></p>
<p><center><img src="https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/382917260022382592/388985975487070218/STEEMIT-BLOGGERS-GIF.gif" /><br>  Animated banner created by <a href="/@zord189">@zord189</a></center></p>
<p><em>(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)<br>
Created at 180711 10:14 PDT</em></p>
</html>

👍 lukestokes, krnel, slowwalker, kus-knee, kafkanarchy84, tarazkp, boxcarblue, getonthetrain, randykrafft, mitchelljaworski, carrinm, animal-shelter, whatamidoing, valued-customer, treetoptennis, sc-steemit, kubbyelizabeth, rynow, enjar, wordsword, borrowedearth, chrismccron, shawnamawna, ocrdu, dollarsandsense, wenzip, zaykanew, rawmoonlight, dragon40, crashdavis, anomaly, emcvay

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@biplobss · Jul 11 '18

Thank you, Sir, for sharing so beautiful a post, your post is very beautiful. I follow you and try to learn something new Sir if you have made a mistake, then forgive me

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@ocrdu · Jul 11 '18 (edited)

$0.07

The fastest and loudest get the credit; quick fixes are preferred over fundamental solutions; thoroughness and effectiveness are *so* outdated. 

Except in some fields of engineering, of course, where the good old adagium of *"good, fast, cheap; pick any two"* still holds.

Anyway, avoiding such a culture is not cowardice, it's simply moving to an area where you function and feel better. This is a Good Thing for both you and your customers/employers, as happy people do a better job.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jul 11 '18

And maybe some of it is just because life — in the greater sense — seems to be "speeding up." There seems to be so many more things we "must" get done in life, so we have to run faster and do them more quickly because there are still only 24 hours in a day. 

One of the reasons I really enjoy the time we spend when we go back to Denmark on holiday, is that the Danish pace still seems a lot "slower" than in the US; there are no so many things that "have to be done" all the time.

I do remember that engineering saying; first remember seeing it in the shipping department of a retail shop that sent things worldwide.

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@ocrdu · Jul 11 '18

$0.04

Americans work long hours and it is *bon ton* there to look busy and ambitious, but the Danish have similar or higher productivity numbers. There's a lot of "all hat and no cattle" going on, much like in the west of The Netherlands. They still get contractors from the east when they need a building, because they talk less and work better and faster.

The things one "must" do in life? Mostly keeping up with the Joneses and looking successful. I suspect most of it is fake. Strip it off and life hasn't sped up all that much. There's just more fluff that people feel needs doing.

I think 8-).

👍 denmarkguy

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1 reply

@tts · Jul 11 '18

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[![](https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png)](http://ec2-52-72-169-104.compute-1.amazonaws.com/denmarkguy__pondering-the-challenges-of-life-being-first-vs-being-best.mp3)
Brought to you by [@tts](https://steemit.com/tts/@tts/introduction). If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

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@dollarsandsense · Jul 11 '18

$0.07

I enjoy your work specifically because it is usually of the “evergreen” variety and just as applicable to my life whether you click “post” today or a month from now. 

I would say in addition to “fastest”, the advantage often goes to the “biggest”, as I’m reminded of the experiment Stephen King did where he published two books at the same time: one under his name and the other under a pseudonym. The one without his name on the spine flopped. So even if you have quality and speed, if you don’t have size or influence, that can be yet another headwind.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jul 11 '18

Appreciate your kind words! I guess I value a certain "timelessness" in content... perhaps the result of having written for many online magazines for many years.

You Stephen King story bears out the assertion many make that "the rich get richer," not necessarily through talent or skill, but simply as a result of being "someone." We see that here on Steemit, as well...people bring their 100,000 followers from YouTube and immediately have $100 posts here. But I guess we have to view that in the context of them already "having paid their dues."

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@enjar · Jul 11 '18

That is quite a complex question to be asking from just someone staying over as a guest. Man I knew conversion got deeper over there at your place but that takes it even further then I thought. 


I feel in the same boat when it comes to getting things done. I need to find the most effective way of doing it and not having to redo it later on. Our culture is just so heavy on first I’m shocked I’ve not seen people spam “first” yet in comment sections granted we already do have such things just in a different form. 

 My road block is always having enough patience past the two year mark on things. While I’ll allow things to go not as productive and other things for some time. After the two year mark I find things I’m just done with them unless they have really started to shape up. Always hard to know when to stop trying one opportunity for another one instead. Least that is my short answer and I’m sticking to it!

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@por500bolos · Jul 12 '18 (edited)

¡Hooooly crap @denmarkguy! You've just taken & are showing a radiography of myself too. **¡Amazing!**

No wonder why we share a trend of thought pretty similar *(despite my peculiar shameless loud cynicism)* to express **'thangs'** eloquently far, strong and clear. };)

¡You OBVIOUSLY Haven't a Slow Brain! my dear friend. This is more than evident that organized, orderly, systematic, methodical and meticulous people like us, *(damn perfectionist maniacs)* we come from another planet. A planet where things are done well or otherwise, it's just not worth doing them at all.

I hazard a guess that, even if we were living currently in the medieval age, long time ago we would have been burned publicly at multiple bonfires again and again for our stubborn, heretic and irreverent way of wanting to always do things well. LoL

Hence, you are not dancing alone in this contemporary coven colleague. And it is not and has never been a surprise to me that we share so many things in common. I bet that from there, comes much of our mutual empathy and understanding. :)

> *Well, besides the fact that we now are both just a pair of Ol'farts for this current Planet Earth. Me, even a bit older than you. **¡Go figure!** So, we now should leave that **“me first!”** useless attitude for the young rascals of this planet only. Hahahaha*

Cheers!! }:)

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