Reflection: Life is Fragile! Enjoy and Appreciate it While You Can! by denmarkguy

reflection · @denmarkguy · May 17 '18

$36.94

Reflection: Life is Fragile! Enjoy and Appreciate it While You Can!

<html>
<p>Last Friday afternoon, we learned that a good friend had passed away Thursday night.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Adam was in his early 60's and whereas not in the best of health <em>(he'd had a series of minor strokes over the past couple of years)</em>, people weren't exactly <em>expecting</em> him to suddenly trip The Lights Fantastic.&nbsp;</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/iWcFkKu.jpg" alt="Cherry" /><br />
<em>Last of the spring cherry blossoms</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>It's a shame Adam never got a chance to share his voice on Steemit; his "alt. views" would have totally fit in with the "Freedom" theme that draws many to this community. He was never afraid to shock people; <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/14/obituaries/adam-parfrey-publisher-of-the-provocative-dies-at-61.html"><strong>his obit in the New York Times</strong></a> only scratches the surface.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I'm going to miss bumping into him and his gregarious husky "Loki" at the local hot dog stand; often a gathering place of strange philosophers and free speech advocates. Sometimes we'd have Thanksgiving with him and his sister... and an assortment of other characters who lived <em>"OFF the deep end."</em></p>
<p>Port Townsend is a strange little place; home to lots of "characters," and your neighbor almost invariably turns out to be famous... or notorious... or both. If you're into strange TV shows, it's a bit like "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eureka_(U.S._TV_series)"><strong>Eureka</strong></a>" meets "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haven_(TV_series)"><strong>Haven</strong></a><strong>.</strong>"</p>
<h2><em>Day of the Dead?</em></h2>
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/0LZjQRJ.jpg" alt="Poppies" /><br />
<em>California poppies in the sun</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>Less than an hour after hearing the news about Adam, one of the artists we work with at our local art gallery stopped in... she was unexpectedly in town, because her dad had unexpectedly passed away — <em>at age 57</em> — the night before.</p>
<p>He was in perfect health, suffered a heart attack while working in his wood shop building furniture and was — as some EMTs like to call it — "<em>DRT</em>" (Dead Right There).</p>
<p>No pain, no waiting, just gone.</p>
<p>Needless to say, his wife and daughter (our artist friend) were in shock.</p>
<p>I only met him a couple of times when the whole family would stop in at the gallery; he was one of those people you'd just call "<em>a really good person.</em>" He touched an incredible number of lives in this community.</p>
<h2><em>Pause for Reflection</em></h2>
<p>When I was a teenager (<em>and beyond</em>) I always remember that is seemed a little "<em>odd</em>" that when the newspaper would arrive at our house, my mother almost always would read the Obituary page <em>first</em>.</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/jJhH04d.jpg" alt="Rose" /><br />
<em>Wild rose in bloom</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>I asked her about it once... and she replied something along the lines of "<em>I suppose I do it because I KNOW more and more of these people...</em>"</p>
<p>It was a strangely reflective statement, coming from someone who was typically all about "<em>being social and gregarious,</em>" and avoiding negative feelings at pretty much any cost.</p>
<p>But here I now sit —<em> at age 57</em> — pondering the sudden passing of a couple of people of "<em>my generation</em>" who were <em>not "old,</em>" and <em>not</em> sickly.</p>
<p>It made me realize that this thing we call "<em>life</em>" truly <em>is</em> very fleeting and fragile. One day we're going about our business as usual; the next day we're <em>gone</em>.</p>
<h2><em>Making the Most of the Journey</em></h2>
<p>There is more meaning than we can possibly grasp in sayings like "<em>Life is too short to be stuck in a lousy job/relationship/situation.</em>"</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="https://i.imgur.com/y4hjgll.jpg" alt="Flowers" /><br />
<em>Budding flowers</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>Indeed, it <em>is</em>. Because we never know when life is simply going to <em>run out</em>.</p>
<p>We don't owe it to anyone to "stick it out" when we're miserable somewhere; there's nothing "noble" about loyalty that causes suffering.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Strange as it may sound — to even <em>say</em> this — nobody will think ill of you for choosing to be happy. And if they <em>DO</em>? That's really more <em>their</em> issue than <em>yours</em>.</p>
<p>Just something to keep in mind!</p>
<p>In the meantime, I am <em>not</em> planning to start scanning the obituaries for dead friends... but I do plan to be more appreciative of the good things that happen... </p>
<p><em><strong>How about YOU?</strong></em> Regardless of your age, have you had someone near you pass away suddenly? Did it make you stop and think about the fragility of life? This is a rather specific question perhaps only relevant to a few here: Do you remember the passing of Steemian <strong>@lauralemons</strong>? Did it make you pause and ponder the fragility of life? Are you making the most of YOUR life? If not, what do you need to change to make that happen... and what's stopping you? <em><strong>Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!</strong></em></p>
<p><center><img src="https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/382917260022382592/388985975487070218/STEEMIT-BLOGGERS-GIF.gif" /><br>  created by <a href="/@zord189">@zord189</a></center></p>
<p><center><a href="https://www.steemit.com/@steemitbloggers" rel="noopener" title="This link will take you away from steemit.com"><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmfE9vRJUurpsDmaZRTQ2PkLVec7Ktkp4T9mZptZUXXCQs/SB-Marvel-Family.gif" alt="SB-Marvel-Family.gif" /></a></center></p>

<p><em>(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)<br>
Created at 180517 15:23 PDT</em></p>
</html>

👍 lukestokes, newhope, alexis555, krnel, kaylinart, kafkanarchy84, kus-knee, k4r1nn, boxcarblue, uwelang, everittdmickey, maxinpower, randykrafft, mitchelljaworski, carrinm, mountainjewel, kubbyelizabeth, animal-shelter, rebeccabe, samstonehill, crystalize, rynow, enjar, chrismccron, whatamidoing, sc-steemit, shawnamawna, ponnibong, sammie85, fabbyd, hashcash, dragon40, foreveryours, himshweta, kiwisteem, smartdeveloper, davidandrew, emcvay, vibelita

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@afire · May 17 '18

All the pictures are about to say, pictures of some beautiful flowers I have seen. Look like!

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@rebeccabe · May 17 '18

$0.08

Let me be the first to say I am sorry about your losses.
My mom and grandmother both died in those age groups.
I seem to just keep on ticking; giving thanks for all of the life I am given.
great post .. 🎈

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 17 '18

Thanks Rebecca! Sometimes it feels a lot like those who are always grateful for the little thuings in life are also the ones who live longest.

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@everittdmickey · May 17 '18

$0.14

I'm 68...a remarkable number of the people I grew up with are gone.
My father in law lived to be almost 110...EVERYONE his age that he knew had died.

That's one of the sad things about living to an old age...most of the people you know and love...don't.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 17 '18

$0.04

I don't mind old age — as long as I stay healthy.
The "elderly and sickly" idea holds no appeal.

My Aunt (who died at 94) said the same thing about aging... *"You end up with noone left who shared your experiences. It's lonely."*

👍 everittdmickey

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@everittdmickey · May 17 '18

$0.05

yup.
I mentioned using an eight track to my son the other day.
He just looked at me.

👍 denmarkguy

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2 replies

@hashcash · May 17 '18

$0.14

The thing that told me most about this guy was that his dog's name is 'LOKI'. 
Yes sir, that is one hell of way to know a guy. That is one hell of a cool name too. 

I do not like to read obituaries of people I don't know. It seems like a shame to sum a life up in few sentences. But in the end 'LOKI' won me over.

I am truly sorry for the loss man.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 18 '18

Thanks. Totally appropriate name for Adam's dog, yes!

He was an interesting guy. As a publisher, he took on projects nobody else would touch; always pushing the envelope of "socially acceptable."

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@hashcash · May 18 '18

He sounds like a rebel :-)

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@sammie85 · May 17 '18 (edited)

$0.08

So sorry about the loss of your dear friend. Everyone owes it to his or herself a duty to live life to the fullest, make the best of every moment and strive to leave a good footprint on the sands of time. May God grant the family the fortitude to bear the loss.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 18 '18

Thanks for the good wishes; we must all make the most of every moment!

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@blackant · May 17 '18

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Ya. I am 51, childhood friends have seemed to be checking out at an increasing rate. You mention health and how some folks seem very healthy, you know, eat well, exercise all the good stuff, does it get them more time here on earth? I would like to think so. I stay fit! Perhaps we are allotted a set amount of time? I have missed some funerals I would have liked to go to, I suppose I should be reading the obits. I do have a good memory. I hold those moments, those grand moments when a person really displays their personality, their Spirit for all those who are close to perceive. This is how I remember my old friends, how I stay in touch with them, wherever they may be.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 18 '18

I'd like to think good health and good eating would give us longer life, but there's always a randomness factor in there. Jim Fixx, the guy credited with "inventing" jogging for fitness died of a sudden heart attack at age 52... while jogging. 

For now, I just focus on remembering and being grateful for the moments we DO have, and not taking anything for granted.

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@blackant · May 18 '18

Oh man. Had a little chuckle on that Jim Fixx story. So important the Gratitude. There are some good posts reminding us of this, I was commenting for awhile on the @gratitudetrain but stopped at number five. I have been so busy as late. I guess this is what happens, we get caught up in life and forget to be grateful for all we have.

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@tts · May 17 '18

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[![](https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png)](http://ec2-52-72-169-104.compute-1.amazonaws.com/denmarkguy__reflection-life-is-fragile-enjoy-and-appreciate-it-while-you-can.mp3)
Brought to you by [@tts](https://steemit.com/tts/@tts/introduction). If you find it useful please consider upvote this reply.

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@enjar · May 17 '18

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I think we all like to think old age would take us and all the ones around us. Sadly that is rarely the case even with all our fancy tech and breakthroughs happening all the time.

I’ve lost a few suddenly over the years and I’m not even that old. Most of it was to stupid things like violence or drugs. Young age makes people think they have decades ahead of them so they don’t treat the gift of life like it should be. Not something you should live the rest of life in fear but at least some respect for limitations here or there. 

I was very blessed this year to lose someone who knew it was coming.  Even wrote me a goodbye card. Somethings in life like that make you really appreciate the amazing gift it is. Most never get have such an opportunity.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 18 '18

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I guess it's part of the cycle of life and experience. 

When we're kids, we have not a worry in the world. When we're young, we think we're virtually immortal and do "whatever we can" without regard for consequences... and we may even think of older people who are "taking care of their health" as paranoid or obsessive.

My first serious wake-up call was my cousin Brian who seemed to be a happy and balanced person; in his early 30's he keeled over and died for no reason at all, leaving a wife and two young kids. 

I'm glad you got to experience that level of closure with your friend... that's pretty awesome, not to mention *rare.*

👍 enjar

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@maxinpower · May 18 '18

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Not only seeing someone leave makes me think life is so fragile and precious. Maybe even more if someone new enters, than I'm wondering and worried about their course trough life, which corners they will hit and how far they can make it. Some don't even make it till the first base.
so what are we worried and afraid off? of making some stupid mistake with will cost our reputation? And the end we will all end at the same place, it will be very dark and nobody can see whether we are wearing any pants or not.
So let us live our lives however we feel like, without hesitation and limits. 100% MaxPower

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · May 18 '18

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I think it's natural to worry about those who are just starting out; especially someone who's close to us, or related.

My wife and I often wonder "what sort of world" our grandkids with have, by the time they reach their 40's and 50's and perhaps start having grandkids of their own.

👍 maxinpower

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@maxinpower · May 19 '18

Our kids and grandkids world might be even  beyond imagination, technological advance is speeding up, I’m really curious but also concerned where are we heading to

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@mountainjewel · May 19 '18

recently we were in a car accident (we're okay and the car was only minimally damaged- miraculously), but it brought up a lot of similar trends of thinking that you bring up here. 

i considered that one of the positive "side effects" of the accident- that we were given a chance to breathe a little deeper, look into our loved one's eyes a bit more and be reminded, yet again, of how fragile life is. 

since i was young, i've had a fear of my parents dying. i used to want them to reassure me that they wouldn't die. i still have a fear of those close to me dying and instead of dwelling on that, i use that energy to really savor and appreciate the moments we share when we're together. our loved ones wont be here forever and that knowledge can make our shared moments even more special! <3

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