Reeling from their wildly popular and massive cash cow Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Disney seemed to believe that they could throw Johnny Depp into pretty much any role where he plays a whimsical character and repeat that formula.  Wow, were they ever wrong with this dud.

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Unless you are extremely young, I don't think it is necessary to explain the story of the Lone Ranger to anyone and even if you do need explaining, I'm not gonna help you much with this.  

The Lone Ranger is a guy named John (Armie Hammer) and he is backed up, or should i say carried by his far-more-talented sidekick "Tonto" (Johnny Depp) as they predictably take on a quest of justice for the people because while this is not at all inventive, what else are they gonna do?

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The film faced a great deal of scrutiny for putting Depp in the role of a Native American and the usual SJW garbage of "white-washing a film" screeching ensued.  I don't care about that and am also not-at-all-surprised that the professional complainers came out of the woodwork to make a problem where there is none.  

I will however complain that Depp's portrayal of Tonto is basically Jack Sparrow with more face paint and less command of the English language.  I don't know if he struggles to break from that role or what but essentially everything about Tonto simply was Captain Jack Sparrow including his mannerisms.  Perhaps he has been that character for so long he just defaults to behaving that way any time a camera turns on.

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At the end of the day that wasn't even the biggest problem.  They had a predictable story, dumb and forced humor both verbally and slapstick and in the end despite a massive budget, the movie simply wasn't entertaining.   Perhaps if you saw it in an IMAX theater with a fantastic sound system you might be entertained for some of it.  I found myself being tired and nearly falling asleep.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjFsNSoDZK8

The Lone Ranger wasn't just panned by critics and audiences alike, it was a commercial disaster losing an estimated 1-2 hundred million dollars.  Although I can find no information online about this, it wouldn't surprise me if the entire intent behind making this film was to turn it into another "Pirates" franchise complete with sequels and a tremendous amount of merchandising.  Of course, none of this is going to happen now and I can't say I am disappointed.  

The film didn't make me feel physically ill and therefore barely avoids the "Urgh!" rating.

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