The Twins Have Their First Identity Crisis by helenoftroy

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· @helenoftroy ·
$2.54
The Twins Have Their First Identity Crisis
<center><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/tgc8z3yd5/IMG_4501.jpg"></center>
<center><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/v857u0pft/IMG_4502.jpg"></center>

<h3>Two Weeks Complete</h3>
Well, another week down, which means that Matt and I have now been separated the longest we've ever been since getting married. Taking care of the girls keeps me busy, so most days aren't too difficult emotionally. But then there are days like Monday.
<hr>
The girls didn't take their naps and were fussy ALL day. I was able to Skype with one of my oldest friends (who I haven't talked to in about 3 years!) but apart from that, I wasn't able to do much all day. I don't know how to describe how hard it was, but the worst part was wondering the entire time, "what did I do wrong? Or what did I miss?" I knew the girls weren't to blame ... there must be a reason for their fussiness. I'm still not sure what it was, but by the end of the day, the girls were finally able to sleep. And all I wanted was for Matt to be back by my side. 

<div class="pull-left"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/nfek25ts9/20180619_125656.jpg"></div>
<h3>Saying Thank You</h3>
The next day the girls were back on schedule and much happier. We took a walk to deliver some Thank You goodie bags to our security guards. They've noticed me struggling with the girls and will go out of their way to get the door or elevator for me (even though that's not really part of their job).

<hr>
<h3>A Strange Q&A Session</h3>
<div class="pull-right"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/5pcvh5y7t/20180620_122523.jpg"></div>
Wednesday, the girls and I went on a little adventure. I found a place nearby called "The Bless Shop." They sell donated clothing and household items and give the proceeds to refugees and others in need. I gathered up some things and dropped them off. While there, I ended up in an interesting conversation with an older lady (OL).

The conversations always start the same...

OL: "Twins?!"
Me: "Yes, both girls." (I go ahead and add the last part since I know it's the next question coming anyway.)

Usually, the other person will say something about how cute they are, but this is where the conversation got interesting...

OL: <em>looks closely at both girls</em> "Why do they look like boys? They look like boys."
Me: "Well, uh..." <em>floundering for a response.</em> "They're girls. Maybe it's just because they're tired and hot."

OL: "They look like boys. So, why this one's cheeks so rosy?"
Me: "Well, they are ho..."
OL: "Breast milk, yeah?"

Me: <em>a little taken aback ... and wanting to change the direction of the conversation anyway...</em> "Well, actually they're adopted, so they drink formula."

OL: "Oh, adopted! Where they from?"
Me: "They were born here."
OL: "Yeah, but where's the mother from?"
Me: "From (country)."
OL: "That's why. They don't look Chinese. Or Malay." <em>Shaking her head.</em> "So why you adopt?"
Me: "We ..."
OL: "You're so young. Why would you adopt?"
Me: "We..."
OL: "I mean, don't you want kids of your own?"
Me: "If God gives us some, but we want to care for kids who are in need of a family."
OL: "Oh, but twins are hard." <em>She sighs.</em>

My head was kind of spinning after that conversation. I couldn't help wondering what it will be like when the girls can understand everything that's being said. I wished Matt had been there. He's not afraid to be more direct and can still keep the conversation friendly.

<h3>Not Boys</h3>
After that, we headed to Mr. DIY. It's a store that sells just about everything at pretty cheap prices. I wanted to see if they had any baby books. When the girls first came to be with us, we were given a bunch of books. Two of the most-loved ones I had to throw out piece by piece as they started getting torn apart ... but I noticed that they were made by Mr. DIY! I wasn't sure if they'd still carry them, but thought it was worth a look.

...
<div class="pull-left"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/bqake7i95/IMG_4521.jpg"></div>

Sure enough ... we found them!

I bought a whole set, including the two that the girls had originally. When we got home, Squirt brushed through the pile until she found their favorite:

<div class="pull-right"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/gc6omkynd/IMG_4522.jpg"></div>

It was so cute to see them recognize it.

I also bought some cute headbands ... (yes, the comment about them being boys had something to do with that. :P) We were given some headbands when the girls were little, but they are tight and the elastic just doesn't look comfortable.

I'm not a girly girl (most days my hair goes up in a ponytail), but I picked out cute bands that I could see myself wearing:

<img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/uimfhs6xl/IMG_4528.jpg"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/3xjwm8zfd/IMG_4527.jpg"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/o4xcejhh5/IMG_4540.jpg">

See, they don't look like boys!!

<h3>Mommy needs to make more food!</h3>
For dinner, I made sweet potato, lentil, rice balls. I'd already made the mixture

<img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/u74z4ylbt/IMG_4498.jpg">

(which Squish enjoyed trying).

<div class="pull-right"><img src="https://s26.postimg.cc/9lq7d4w21/IMG_4544.jpg"></div>

While the girls watched me, I rounded the mixture into balls and baked them in the oven. After they cooled down, I broke them apart and handed them out ... and kept handing them out. I really thought that I'd have some left over, but they ate all this (plus more) in one sitting!!

I was going to eat some with them, but ended up frying an egg :)

We had quite the day! These girls are going to have lots to tell Daddy on their next call!
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vote details (29)
@ironmanmatt ·
$0.03
@helenoftroy, I am sure the old lady would not have been ready for my sarcastic remarks and big smiling face. Kill them with kindness, but sometimes you need a little extra "kill" ;)
👍  ,
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@filnette · (edited)
$0.06
That was quite an interesting conversation you had with an old lady. Oh if that would have been me, I can't imagine what I would have responded to that. My tongue tends to be nasty at times (oh but don't start with my partner though. He's unbelievable!).lol

I'm so happy to see the girls in their headbands! Tia these days wouldn't let one stay on her head. Even the bands on her hair gets the same treatment as well. When she was about 3 or 4 months, it always pissed me off when people thinks that she looks like a boy. Know what I did? I had her pierced with adorable earrings and I bought her lots of headbands (they ended up in our drawer though, unused).

![IMG-20180618-WA0198.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYCXtNtF4Tk5Dmhndcwo9VPo9k6wcSJ2CcSiiAgX2jZHh/IMG-20180618-WA0198.jpg)
*this is her now; I can now tie her hair:)*

Oh by the way! Can you share me that recipe of yours? (Though I need to find a way to cook it without an oven)
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@helenoftroy ·
$0.04
Oh, she's adorable! I tried to put the girls' hair up, but it just won't stay yet. I loved reading your post about getting ready for her birthday/baptism. It looks like you found the perfect venue!

I went off of this [recipe](https://vegiesmugglers.com.au/2014/03/18/enjoy-watching-your-toddler-feed-themselves-lentils/). But I'm not good at sticking with what the directions say ... I cooked dry lentils and actually skipped the last three ingredients. I just mixed the first four ingredients, made them into little balls (I used the scoop that comes with their formula), then baked them on parchment paper. The mixture alone is good, but not quite as tasty as when they're all heated up together. Without an oven, I think I would make them into patties and heat them in a frying pan. You could use a little oil, but it should be fine in a non-stick.

I hope she loves them! It was pretty easy to make and the recipe says you can make extra and freeze them.
👍  ,
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@filnette ·
$0.02
Oh thank you so much for this recipe! I can't wait to try it on the weekend (I hope!). I have no problem with Tia on food because she eats almost everything. But I like to see her when she loves the food because she would be the one to go to the spoon and food :) 

I hope to see the girls with their hair tied up soon. Tia is beginning to hate me I think from tying her hair up every day. 

Yes I'm so happy to find the perfect venue for the event. It will be happening next weekend and so far I only have the decorations to finalize :)
👍  
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@chrisrice ·
$0.05
Hi @helenoftroy 

You are doing a mighty good job at taking care of your children. I am half Filipino but was adopted by a caucasian family in the United States at age 2. 

My greatest advice is to show them a lot of affection, like hugs, kisses and things like that. I think that would give them a great amount of self-esteem and can strengthen your family for the day that they understand other people's comments.

Sincerely,
- Chris
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@helenoftroy ·
$0.03
Hi @chrisrice! A fellow adoptee! I mentioned this several posts ago, but I was also adopted (from Japan at 5 weeks old) to a family in the US. It's so cool to meet other adoptees on this platform! :D

Do you have any siblings? My parents had two biological children of their own after me. My sister and I are only a year apart. But because we don't look anything alike, we always got lots of questions.

Great advice! I definitely agree! I also hope I can cultivate the kind of relationship with them where they feel free to ask lots of questions. I know it can be hard to figure out why people say what they say ... and it's easy to come up with our own reasons relating to our appearance, situation, etc.

Wow! I'm just so excited to meet you! I hope you'll stop by again. I'm looking forward to heading over to your blog!
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@chrisrice · (edited)
$0.02
Yes, I'm definitely going to be following up with your posts! I have an older half sister, an older half brother and I had a younger half sister that passed away about 5 years ago. All of them came from my mother's side.

Since I didn't look like my sister, people didn't think we were related either. I was adopted along with my sister but met my older brother in the Philippines when I moved here. I also met my younger sister before she passed away.

Social services in the United States told my adopted parents to cut off contact with my biological family since I came from a broken family but they connected me with them once I became an adult.
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