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A few months ago, my father and I had a serious conversation about our finances. He mentioned some of the money habits displayed by me that were hurting our finances. At first, I was very sad (and defensive) because it was never my intention to do anything that would hurt us. Still, he did a good job by setting what I believed to be healthy financial boundaries.

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When it comes to finances, it's often best to have healthy boundaries with your family and friends. It is nearly impossible to build wealth without setting healthy boundaries and I have learned this the hard way.

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Late in the evening one of my uncle called and asked for money. He complained that his health was in critical condition and he needed some money to take drugs. He was using that line for the third time. I didn't give him the money and I've been filled with guilt and anger ever since.

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I felt guilty because I had the money (although it is set aside for something else). I was annoyed because I know how I have struggled alone with my family for years and now requests are made by people who never cared to be there for us. It's a dare for me.

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Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping, but I hate emotional manipulation. It's hard to help but remember some of the sad things I've said about my father, but I've gone beyond that. I cannot give more than what I am already giving.

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Being the eldest child in my family and a beard winner, I have had to make a number of financial decisions, which are not conducive to my long term plan. However, I'm at a point where I don't think I need to make such sacrifices any more.

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I want to grow I don't want to spend my whole life working for other people to enjoy at my own expense. I've given myself so much and I can't do it anymore.
Establishing healthy boundaries with family and friends is never an easy task. As people close to you develop a sense of entitlement to you and your resources (mostly consciously), it becomes a difficult bond to break. They will take advantage of every weapon in their arsenal to maintain an unhealthy relationship.

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However, if you want to build lasting wealth over time (especially in the form of a building off the ground), you need to set healthy boundaries and that often comes at a heavy cost. For example, I am not friends with some people because I refused to give them money. They assume that I have enough to spare whereas in reality, I barely have enough to get through on most days.

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Saying no to the people you love is often painful but most of the times it is necessary. The truth is that even those who love you can take advantage of you (if need be). That's why you need to set those healthy boundaries.

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I'm learning to say no to the people I care about and that's the hardest thing to do (you can see me struggling). However, I tell myself that next time it will be easier. If I want to be financially free, I need to be more assertive.

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