Today is September 11th, 2019. On this date in 2001, the Twin Towers in New York City were destroyed in an act of terrorism.  Even then, it never really felt like something personal. Yes, it's a cultural center, the headquarters of major media, the setting for numerous works of fiction, and an architectural icon, but I never felt the burning hatred of a personal attack. Sure, I was a nationalist then who thought it was a black eye to all Americans and warranted hitting them back. Yes, I joined in the patriotic war fever and was swayed by the hawks eager to lay waste to entire countries where the accused masterminds *might* reside nonetheless.

I eventually began to be drawn into the conspiracy theories and what-if scenarios that the tinfoil-hat crowd espoused. I still have a measure of scepticism about the official story, but I'm hardly in the "CIA/Mossad/who-knows-who-else did it" camp. The alternative "explanations" have too much speculation and require too much suspension of disbelief. Secret nukes? No. Thermite? Maybe. Space laser death rays? No. Fake planes with crisis actors? Hell of a lot of witnesses to conscript and then keep quiet, dontcha think? 

Over time, my doubts about the official story and the myriad alternative theories led me to seriously explore a lot of my core beliefs and preconceptions about politics, governments, nationalism, and the merits of various self-professed dissenters. I grew weary of Alex Jones long before he became the widely-known laughingstock he is today. I do give him some credit though in introducing me to many libertarian-leaning voices that still merit my respect despite their association with him as guests on his show. It was through people like Ron Paul and some more level-headed members of now-long-defunct web forums who helped me sort my thoughts on the matter and build a better foundation from which to expand my knowledge.

Maybe the 9/11 attacks happened pretty much as the government says. Maybe it shouldn't have collapsed based on the initial engineering, but maybe contractors skimped on concrete and steel quality to save some money and pocket a bonus during construction. Apparently there were some issues with the current Orwellian "Freedom Tower" resulting in demolition of prior work during construction due to materials that did not meet spec. This could also explain the alleged haste with which the rubble was cleared and disposed of, all without any need to claim thermite or nukes. This is mere armchair speculation, though. I can only reserve judgement.

Maybe the CIA, Mossad, and Bush administration, possibly continuing some policy from the Clinton era, engaged in an act of terrorism against the United States as a means to incite war. In hindsight, it would have worked as expected. However, there is a dearth of hard evidence. Connecting random dots can create patterns that aren't really there, and those connecting these dots have open prejudice toward their intended conclusions from the outset. Someone would have brought forth some kind of evidence over the past 18 years, I think. Governments are not really very good at keeping secrets, especially over any significant length of time. 

All of this is just speculation from someone who sees New York City as effectively a foreign country. They use the same language, mostly, but so does London. They use the same currency, but so what? I don't go there. They produce a lot of media, but I don't consume much of it. They are a major economic center, and that certainly affects me. Their culture, values, politics, and lifestyle is still utterly foreign to a country boy from the west. The attack on the Pentagon hasn't figured as highly in peoples' memories as the Twin Towers collapsing. In my opinion, if it was a bunch of middle easterners mad at US foreign policy, it was a perfectly legitimate military target for a military attack. Using a passenger airliner negates any moral sanctuary in that position though, *if that was what was really used...* [cue X-files theme]

I have since come to understand that government, democratic representation, and republican checks and balances are all a mirage. There is no virtue in politics. The real conspiracy doesn't need to be found by examining photos or low-res video. It is taught in textbooks as part of our national mythology. I saw the absurdity of advocating the deaths of thousands of innocent foreigners in revenge for the death of thousands of innocent Americans, regardless of who controlled the planes or how the towers fell. I still think the disposal of Bin Laden's body was sketchy. The war in Iraq has been a series of clusterfucks creating mass murder that continues to this day. The entangling alliances and petty vendettas in DC have led to arming terrorists and supporting genocide. These are all done in my name, if there is anything to democracy, but it is without my consent.

In the upcoming election cycle, we will have voters who weren't even born before 9/11/01, much less have any recollection of a time before gate rape and porno-scanners to fly anywhere. They won't remember a time when passports were not required to visit Canada. There's no realization that blowback from US foreign policy created the "terrorist threat" in the first place, or that the current policy just continues spreading that web of hate that could blow back on us again. Their only memories are war and destruction, but it's all conveniently "over there." After all, destruction and death on the scale of many 9/11s doesn't count if it's happening to someone else. 

But aside from the consequences of the warfare state and police state here, 9/11/01 NYC is still just "somewhere else" to me, too. . .

*Sorry if this is disjointed and incoherent. It's a lightly-edited stream-of-consciousness word jumble, nothing more.*