星夜很美,尤其是整个星空被铺在一张画卷上时,如同一把油刷,旋转着涂鸦。在蓝白与黑暗的交融之中,感受着世间最纯粹的孤寂。整个天地,除了这些画卷,便只有我一个人的孤独。 而这样的感觉,在每一个仰望星空的日子里,在每一个看着屏幕发呆的时候,心情如同沉默到了这星夜之中,无限低落。 ------------------------------- 每当我深夜在窗前仰望星空,脑子里总会浮现是梵高的画:Starry Night. 幽冷的色调,搭配着孤寂的心,在欢声笑语的红尘俗世,总有一种一场和谐的闹剧。看着镜子时,总是试图轻轻捏着自己的脸,让自己给自己一个微笑,慰藉一二在这冬日里的心灵。而每每捏着自己摆出笑容的时候,却只感觉如同小丑一般,只不过,我只为逗乐自己。用给自己的微笑,给自己一份余温。 可镜子里,看到的却不是那机械的笑容,而是清晰的胡茬,失神的瞳孔,与点缀在额头与太阳穴旁的痘痘。收回了目光,看着不知道写什么的内容的稿子,等候的也只有属于自己那一瞬间的错愕,在白云苍狗之间,时间转瞬到了深夜,入梦。而入梦前,手机播放着默认的催眠音频,而呼吸,也逐渐平稳;意识,逐渐与肉体一同沉寂。 世间很大,时间很快,入睡不久后便在闹铃的召唤下醒了过来,在睁开眼的一瞬间,发觉自己眼神中颓然般失去了所有的色彩,流淌着的只有深夜里万卷星空的璀璨。如同行尸走肉一般在漫长又短暂的时间里回溯起所有感情,想起了生而为人的责任与肩上的担当。让人无法停歇,便挣扎着,站起,爬起。 而支撑着自己爬起来时所有所谓的担当,只不过是不愿意白来人世间行走一遭,不愿意白在人世间苦渡岁月,不愿意在虚名口耳之中留下笑谈。所有的来来去去,都只是为了三两碎银,三餐口腹。所有的情缘眷恋,在灰白的世间,苍白无力。所留下的,只有孤寂的自己,还有不知所措的云烟。 渐行渐远渐无书,渐到江湖渐无路。每每看着苍白一天转瞬,看着自己若是离开了现在的路则无路可走,便又是感受到几分阴沉。 阴沉的天空,在一天的屏幕之中很快便到了夜晚。 夜里,星空将所有的颜色吞噬其中,又将所有的在上面点缀着,一点一点,让人目不暇接。突然,不知道从哪里的风卷起来所有的薄纱,整个天空在这一瞬间旋转起来,所有的东西都留着自己的痕迹,在天空中划出一道漫长的线条...... 醒来,窗帘将所有的光芒挡在了外面,我拉开窗帘的刹那,仿佛撕裂了自己漆黑的世界,看着刺眼的光,直感觉泪水似乎要从眼中流淌而出,闭上眼,等待着所有的不适如同潮水一般退去,一切在慢慢平复之后,看着外面的天空,阳光明媚,而闭上双眼,星海灿烂。 我起身,面对着镜子,捏着自己的脸,看着自己的微笑。 星夜很美,白天也一样。
post_id | 89,182,298 |
---|---|
author | jiangchen |
permlink | 2ddyvq |
category | hive-180932 |
json_metadata | {"tags":["cn","cn-reader","life","blog"],"app":"steemit\/0.2","format":"markdown"} |
created | 2021-01-21 16:32:15 |
last_update | 2021-01-21 16:32:15 |
depth | 0 |
children | 0 |
net_rshares | 1,340,892,106,804 |
last_payout | 2021-01-28 16:32:15 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.158 SBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.157 SBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 SBD |
promoted | 0.000 SBD |
body_length | 1,114 |
author_reputation | 30,823,992,397,451 |
root_title | 星夜下的微笑 |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 SBD |
percent_steem_dollars | 10,000 |
author_curate_reward | "" |
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